Why would a guy say he doesn’t want to see you again?

[missgurl1029]

HE asked me out on the date. I said ok. We went on a few dates. I asked him where he thinks it’s going. He said he doesn’t feel anything at all for me, he never thinks about me, and he never misses me when he’s not seeing me. And he doesn’t want to see me again. I was kind of blind-sided like …wtf?

Because to me, this all just seems like lack of attraction. I’ve been told I’m a pretty attractive person, and this is the first guy I dated that wasn’t “all over me” and showering me with compliments about my looks and staring at me all the time. I asked him before if he was even attracted to me, and he insisted he was, maybe to save my feelings? I would understand not finding someone attractive but you should stop after the first date if that’s the case.

Also, he asked me out in person so he would know if he found me attractive or not. Anyway, he completely cold-turkey dropped me, doesn’t text, doesn’t call, and literally doesn’t care. What was the point? He said he’s not seeing anyone either, and i just kind of feel like he’s telling the truth because he has no reason to lie? He was a pretty honest person. I just don’t know what the point was. Now, I’ll casually say do you want to hang out (as friends, no pressure) and he avoids it like the plague. Like he’s repulsed by me? He doesn’t speak to me in public either. Am I that disgusting to him? I just don’t understand

[Anonymous]

Well for one he may have realized you’re boring. A lot of women who are cute, pretty, gorgeous, lack a personality. That’s because a lot of what they got in life was handed to them based on their looks so they’ve never had to really try. Is that your case? I don’t know I’d have to date you to find out. Then you say you’ve been told you’re a pretty attractive person. By who? Family? Friends? Random men? Family as well as friends, especially female friends will lie to other females to spare their feelings. A lot of girls will tell a girl she’s pretty, cute, etc, just to get between her legs because they know that’s what she wants to hear. Doesn’t mean they always want a relationship w her. I think too you asking him where does he think this is going was too fast, may have scared him off. Like you were desperate. As for him seeing someone else, that may be true that he isn’t. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in someone else, maybe he’s even working on it right now as far as trying to see this other person. I’d let this situation go. Doesn’t sound like he’s interested in being your friend either if he’s avoiding you. Probably awkward to him. Chances are he knows how you feel about him so to have a friendship w you would be uncomfortable.

[missgurl1029]

People have always called me pretty since I was a little girl, I was “that pretty little girl” or “you’re so beautiful!” but I never really knew because you’re right, everyone says these things to save your feelings. I did ask him pretty soon where it was going, but that was because I just felt his inconsistency and couldn’t read him so I wanted to be sure he was actually liking me and not just passing time. I did get the distinct feeling that I was pushing things along more than him. Which made me feel weird, maybe I was in denial about the fact that he wasn’t that into me, who knows. Also, I don’t think i’m boring, I think he was more-so boring than me. I just couldn’t believe how cold he became. We were so open with each other and vulnerable, talked about a lot of things, he told me and showed me a lot of things, in person he seemed very affectionate, kind, and gentlemanly, then after it would be silence. No check in, no consistent texting/calling. So I’d text him and ask how he’s doing, and he’d immediately ask me out again. I thought this meant he liked me. All I said was I liked him and where it was going, I did say I care about him. It’s so strange that we went on multiple dates and he acts shocked that I actually care, what did he think was going to happen? If we were “hanging out” I wouldn’t care but if we’re “dating” then yea i’m taking that seriously and considering it carefully. I don't know I guess I just have to go back to being strangers if that’s what he wants. I wouldn’t mind being friends but now seeing him acting like he doesn’t know me, makes me not want to be associated with someone who thinks that low of me.

[Opinion Owner]

He does not see you as a priority. Because most of us know when something is new like a relationship there’s always that honeymoon phase. He’s all over you, calling, trying to see you as much as he can. So it sounds as though this part never even happened. I kind of wonder if he’s talking to someone else. I’m not so sure about being friends. in my opinion a man can't really be friends w a girl. For one there’s no real benefit to the man. She doesn’t offer him things men usually offer women in a “friendship.” Things such as protection, maybe money, etc. At the same time those things that a woman benefits from a male “friendship” are under a false guise. Most men only do that for women they’re interested in, pretending to befriend them while they wait for their turn. Why do you think so many dudes in the friend zone will go to great lengths for her?

[ProbablyClueless]

Well yeah... he's just not feeling the vibe with you.

Attraction is more than just a physical appearance thing. Sometimes you think someone is physically appealing, but then you talk with them and find that the mental/emotional chemistry just isn't there. I've been on several dates where I thought the woman was physically appealing, but the spark and intrigue just wasn't there.

Or, maybe you even did something that caused him to find you actively unappealing. Tough to say without knowing more about the situation.

[missgurl1029]

I’m just so confused about it because honestly, he asked me out but I felt like I was the one engaging him more. Asking more questions, checking in, calling between dates. Literally a voice in my head kept saying this guy does not like you. Just a nagging feeling. But I was like ok but he asked me on an actual “date” and he acts very affectionate on said dates, why would he do that if he wasn’t interested? But the nagging voice that he wasn’t into me kept repeating. Also, maybe tmi, we tried to have sex and he didn’t even get hard. And I was like oh my god does he not find me attractive. I also showed him my boobs, which are really perky and guys always fawn over them, and he barely glanced at them and smiled. At this point, I wondered if he was gay. Because even if he didn’t like me, who doesn’t like boobs? He kept insisting he does like me, probably trying to avoid hurting my feelings. It was really weird though. I thought, maybe he’s just dating me to get over someone else. Because i’m telling you the guys that ask me out, are attracted to me and i 100% feel that they are because they’re flirty, touchy, tell me I’m beautiful, and stare at me. This guy looked like he was out to dinner with his buddy. He never complimented my appearance once. He never checked me out. Do you think he’s in love with someone else? Suppose he just asked me out to get over somebody else and that’s why he was so withdrawn the whole time? And he couldn’t possibly have been using me for sex because he didn’t even want to have it. I’m actually really hurt by this situation because I’ve never felt unattractive like this before:( and my confidence went way down after it ended

[ProbablyClueless]

I hear you! It sucks to be on the receiving end of someone's wishy-washy bullshit. I wish I had something more helpful to give you than simply my empathy. The good news is that whatever happened, it probably had nothing to do with you.

The only thing I've learned from dating is that people's interests and such change on a dime. It's possible that he asked you out because he was bored one day. Or maybe he asked you out after lusting over you since the second he saw you. Maybe he sat down at the table and being near you brought out some bullshit in his personal life that made him freeze up and pull away. Unfortunately, this kind of situation is all too common in men's dating lives. You think people are interested only to have them flip a switch, treat you like shit, kidnap your dog and then alienate your friends against you for no apparent reason.

Many times, people reject others over personal issues that they have no idea how to deal with. They just push the person away because all they know is that the other person is making them uncomfortable.

[sage2021]

I was dating someone for about a year, but I always got this feeling that he wasn't attracted to me. When I asked him about it, he did say that he's always been with women with blue eyes and blonde hair. I have dark brown eyes. My hair, well I've always had naturally light brownish blonde hair with lots of blonde highlights. My hair has changed color to dark brown over the years. He saw all of my pictures of me through out my life where I always had light hair. Even when I met him it was brown. He hadn't seen me in three years and he moved in with me I could tell my dark brown was a turn off.

He was affectionate, but not like he would be with someone with blue eyes and blonde hair.

So, maybe he was just attracted to a different look and just couldn't get used to it.

He was very tacky and hurtful the way he was so blunt with you. Then he just dismissed you. You probably wouldn't have wanted to end up with a guy like him anyway.

[Cynicaldreamer]

It sounds like he asked you out to see was there anything there-

And it wasn't; that's why he ended things. It sucks but, welcome to being rejected! (sarcasm)

Just because he's physically attracted to you, doesn't mean there's a "spark" there- and he probably realized that after going on a few dates with you. He might have gone out with you and felt like you two didn't have any sort of connection or common interests.

Look, be glad he didn't string you along, ghost you, or give you any false hope. He did tell you point blank he's not into you- most people don't do that anymore!

Now you know where he stands and you can find someone else: seriously, let it go. He obviously doesn't want to be "friends," or associate with you. I'd take that as sign to block and ignore him as well.

[Account]

You can be amongst the attractive people, but that doesn't mean that the other person is willing to give it a go with you. He is either not feeling it with you or he has other options lined up as well. It is not personal and there is a huge possibility that it has nothing to do with you.

[OlderAndWiser]

He either found someone else or rekindled something with an ex, and he needs you out of his life.

[YesterdaysChild]

What did he do, ask you for sex and you turned him down? I find it hard to believe a guy would ask a girl out he is not somewhat attracted to. As you said, what would be the point? And then ask you out on more? Sounds more to me that he doesn't really like women and was doing it to hurt your feelings or something. But, look at it this way, you found out sooner, and not later, that this guy was a dork. Now, all you have to do is move on and don't let it get to you. Two can play that game. Don't think of him at all unless you need a good laugh.

[ByronWolf]

Clearly he doesn’t value you are a friend or a dating partner. He clearly had other priorities in his life from his POV. If I were you based on you saying you have historically been shown tons of attraction from men, I would move on and find someone that truly does value you and will treat you correctly. Bet you’re a 10!

[missgurl1029]

I’ve been shown attraction yes, but it’s cheap. None of them stick around. Nobody ever commits.

[Fireguy17]

he probably did not feel a connection to you, or care for your personality and knew it just would never go anywhere.
Rejection happens, and building a healthy relationship is based more than just looks alone.
He isn't repulsed by you, he just isn't into you at all and has moved on.
it happens, so just move on.
It seems that you have a hard time dealing with the fact that someone rejected you and just does not want to be with you.
Welcome to being an adult!

[Anonymous]

Looks may attract, but they don’t keep. Like another commenter mentioned, he may not have felt as strong a connection as he hoped when he initially asked you out. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, you two are just not a good fit. It’s a normal part of dating. Not everyone you go out with is going to want a relationship with you, so just allow yourself to move on and find someone else who will.

[Anonymous]

I've known many girls that had loads of guys drooling over them that I didn't see what all the fuss was about. But I look far beneath the surface. Thus my first thought would be all about your personality, behavior, beliefs, actions, past and energy. In short, everything about your interior Vs your exterior.

[KrakenAttackin]

You may be physically attractive, but do you bring anything to the relationship beyond looks? Do you just show up and expect to be entertained? Keep pulling your phone out? Do you have any personality?

[Booklover_90]

Best answer.

[missgurl1029]

Yes, I do have personality. We talked about a lot of things. We had fun, we did activities. We were always laughing together and having intellectual conversations. He said he admired how intelligent and hard-working I was. I was a little shy though, maybe that bothered him? But I am shy around every man that tries to get close to me because I don’t know what they want until they prove they actually like me. Dating is not something I do a lot. I don’t seek it, but I’ll go on a date if a guy asks me and i think he’s cute. Honestly, I felt like he liked my personality a lot. But this is the first time I’ve seen a guy express interest in me and not make me feel like “oh yea he definitely thinks i’m hot”. I just kept getting this weird feeling he wasn’t attracted to me, and it made me feel so insecure and weird, because normally i’m more insecure about the guy not liking my personality. I don’t know.

[Screenwriter]

Simple case of just not interested. It's nothing personal.

Everyone likes something different. It's not about YOU. It's about HIM. Forget about it. Not worth your worry.

[RavVid]

There is more than just physical appeal. Personality, character, interests, moral wold view etc.

It was miss on some level. So you didn't quite gel, can't with everyone.

[Crankor]

Maybe he just wasn't ready to date. As in you were his way of just trying to take his mind of an old relationship but doesn't have the emotions to spare. May not be the reason but just a possibility.

[Anonymous]

I had a woman do that to me. I said "ok", moved on. And then she stalked me for the next t 2 years.

He either means exactly what he said. Or he fishing and he just gave this fish a little line

[Alex-Snow]

Better to know after a few dates then waiting for a long time. Did you have sex with him? Maybe the chemistry was not there.

[driven159]

not everyone is made for a person move on at least he did not lead you on and waste your time and hurt you

[Staximus]

He was probably just looking to get laid and it didn't happen

[serious_miss419]

Who cares? He’s a loser. Why did u trail along with him lol 😂

[Booklover_90]

He’s just not that into you. There are other fish in the sea. 😊

[sheikalana]

Because he’s not interested.

[spartan55]

What do you mean, what was the point?

[DreamLife7]

He thinks you're ugly

[DreamLife7]

🤣🤣🤣 u got rejected

[DreamLife7]

News flash hun you're not attractive lol