Would you date someone who reneged their native culture?

Question

My father's widow comes from a Middle-Eastern country, but she doesn't want to be associated with it not even by mistake.

From the little she says about it she hated her childhood there, which grew into a general distaste for her own people and especially the most prevalent religion there - she even pretends to not know the language and cut off her family long ago, even changed her birth name to a "westernized" version.

She looks somewhat Asian and she said more than once that she prefers being mistaken for a Chinese than from her native country.

The only thing she doesn't hate from her background are the sweets she makes and brings to me and my wife in the weekend, I assume they were probably the only sweet thing in her childhood.

I had always believed that my father made her to "adapt" go our country and scrap her culture, turned out he didn't care much while she abandoned it on her own.

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Accepted Answer

My sister was somewhat like this although she's half-American (as with me), yet we were both originally born and raised in Japan.

When we went to the US, I was a freshman in high school and she went to middle school. I think she acclimated more to American culture than I did, and far more quickly, and started to reach the point where she wanted to be considered full American. When people asked her where she's from, she just started saying America. Then they'd get confused if they talked to me since when they asked me where I'm from, I'd say Japan. 😅 "Isn't he your brother?"

She didn't hate Japanese culture but I think since she spent her formative early teenage years in the US and planned to stay there, she wanted to be considered American. She also completely forgot her Japanese over the period; now she speaks only American English.

As for hypothetically dating a woman like this, I wouldn't have minded when I was a bachelor.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

My fiancée has a good balance between preserving her Chinese heritage and being Westernized.

I asked her if she wanted to incorporate elements of a traditional Chinese wedding into our wedding and she responded with an emphatic, "No!" She gave two reasons:

1. Since Chairman Mao, traditions and customs in China have been largely abandoned and China is much more Westernized now than when she was a child. Almost nobody in China has a traditional wedding now.

2. Her older sister is coming from China to serve as the matron of honor, and her sister wants to see an American wedding!

sheikalana · Accepted Answer

I can understand this to some extent. My dad is white and for some reason I don't identify much with the white culture. I think you should never hide where you're from regardless of your memories as this is something you can't do nothing about. I'm mixed raced myself and I cringe when people pretend to be 'white' until someone starts saying crap about where they're from and then suddenly they're from x part of the world but until then they were real quiet. When someone asks me where I'm from I always say I'm x and x I never hid where I'm from and never pretended to pass as x or y. I've seen mixed people passing as white and that absolutely disgusts me.

electromagnetic · Accepted Answer

I personally wouldn’t date someone like that on the simple sense that there is a lot that goes into holding a culture and I value it a lot. Even if the persona I’m with is of different culture, I want them to appreciate and hold that dearly.

Avicenna · Answer

It would depend on the circumstances. If she had been persecuted as a part of that culture, it would be understandable.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Just here to say, this girl looks so pretty!

Jamie05rhs · Answer

If I was from there I would abandon it, too. There are a lot of shitty aspects that get glossed over or swept under the rug. But the reality is a lot of people are living in fear and oppression.

Wraith_Cemetery · Answer

I'm incredibly passionate about my Irish culture and my wife is incredibly passionate about her Muslim Lebanese culture. We combine them together and dedicate our lives to it. I would never want to be with someone that hates their heritage. That's despicable.

LazerBean · Answer

Depends on what culture it was. If it's from a Muslim culture, then yeah I would probably see that as a good thing.

CozyCoffin · Answer

It's whatever she decided was best for her. I'm the equivalent of a mutt, all European ancestry, that came over a bit after the American Civil War. I don't really have anything from my heritage.

exitseven · Answer

It would not bother me. One of the things about becoming an American is that you can re-invent yourself.

My father's parents came over from Italy. When my father grew up has started his own business and did not want people to think he was Italian because everyone would think he was in the Mafia. He Americanized his name and his brother did the same thing.

A lot od middle east culture is incongruous with American culture so I could understand why she did this.

SotiCoto · Answer

Picture unrelated?

I can understand that. Women that manage to escape from the utter hell-hole that is the middle east aren't exactly uncommon, and they're often all too happy to utterly disconnect from it.

Obviously I don't put much stock in culture in general... but middle-eastern cultures in particular are cancerous and vile, so it is a good sign if someone wants to utterly abandon such things.

KostasKouvalis · Answer

I wouldn't mind if she's critical of it, but to completely renounce it, that would be too much. There was an Iraqi girl at my school who wanted to get a professor in trouble because he was asking her about her culture. That's taking it too far, and I don't want to associate with someone like that. It would be better for her to set an example and show that not all her people are bad. But I wouldn't mind if she shit on the MEN of her culture, and was dating me for that very reason

NathanDavis · Answer

my family did this... when they came from Europe, not so long ago

BadApple69 · Answer

Where you come from can’t be changed. And if you love your country and your heritage then that’s something to be proud of.
Now if you’re not proud of your heritage then scrapping it is a persons choice.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I wouldn't care one way or another. I'm not dating her to virtue signal how diverse we can be, I'm dating her because of who she is. Doesn't mean shite to me if she's from the moon.

DizzyDesii · Answer

nah i dont fck with the internalized racism and self hatred

Juxtapose · Answer

She's a woman and it's a Muslim country, I would be the exact same way. Fuck Islam and no sane woman would want to be turned into a slave under that stupid religion.

AngryCarl · Answer

Actually I'd prefer it. Why go to another country if you don't like their culture?

strateguy632 · Answer

any culture i would,

Agape93 · Answer

Sure

clampfan101 · Answer

If she’s become a Christian I imagine so.

Jackblue · Answer

Absolutely

Would you date someone who reneged their native culture?

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