Are ghostings getting out of control?

[Anonymous]

these days it seems like everyone is getting ghosted over like nothing , like i though a ghosting was for like serious unresolvable situations where there was a legitimate safety concern. like an ex stalked you or someone won't stop making unwanted contact or advances towards you

not like you went on one date and didn't click so now you don't want to see other person ever again or you did a shot with someone at bar

is it getting out of control? thoughs experiences?

yes its getting out of control

maybe i've had this happen or done this to someone

no its just fine

other please explain

[Prezzi3]

I hate breaking up with, just because it’s hard on both parties. However, I made a promise to myself that if I’m going to be grown and date, it’s important to have those difficult conversations. It is important to look that person dead in the eyes, so there’s no misunderstanding. It’s important for that person to understand the why and get closure. I owe them at least that much, especially if it was an official relationship or we were dating for months.

Now if it’s just some random guy I only spoke with for two days on Tinder, I’ll just unmatch with the person. Usually, they know why, because it’s alway after they sent me some dirty message.

I’ve never been ghosted before nor have ghosted anyone but if that ever happens to me, I would try to look at it from the positive perspective. Maybe that person was never meant to be in your life in the first place. Maybe that person was going through a hard time and didn’t know how to communicate that. Maybe you deserve better and will find better! Maybe it’s good that that person didn’t waste more of your time.

[Asker]

i agree its much different if the person is well known to you or not. obviously if its random than ghosting is more acceptable.

but if you know the person it doesn't really make sense to create such a situation with them unless there is absolutely no way you could speak to them.

was this girl i knew a couple years ago , i would of much rather preferred that she discussed with me why this was happening and provided closure so at least i have answers and know why than to have just disappeared. the no closure made the whole situation so much more difficult and hard to understand. which caused me to try and seek her out , but if she had just spoke to me and provided closure there would of been no reason for me to do that and i had moved on instead

[Anonymous]

I usually ghost a guy if he knows that I don't like him and if he still pursues me. I also ghost a guy if I'm already in love with other guy or if I'm in relationship with a guy. I also ghost a guy if he is constantly doing actions that hurts me such as flirting with other girls, giving other girls more attention than me. I possibly ghost him so he could identify his error and if he is mature enough to identify his own mistakes and correct his actions, I will accept him back. If he is immature and if he continues, I will leave him permanently and I will move on with a new guy. I am not sure why guys ghost a girl they first gave attention to

[ManOnFire]

I lean towards it getting out of control, yes. Because nowadays it's so easy to just ignore somebody you talk to on an app or even your phone. And the dangerous thing about it is that you never know if you'll end up seeing the person you ghosted again. What if they didn't just take it in stride and decided to seek revenge? Some people don't let stuff go. Or what if somewhere down the road you got a new job and found out your manager is the person you ghosted after dating? You can run into anybody at any time, life is crazy like that and you just never know.

In some cultures ghosting is actually a norm, as fucked up as that is. Particularly in some Asian cultures like India and Korea. Koreans are known to do this not only with each other but even other people they date outside of their race, it's called "korean break up style."

[V_Injector]

I don't think ghosting is the problem, I think it's mostly the women being extremely promiscuous that's increased first. Allow me to explain...

Every time I've been ghosted for seemingly no reason, I find out later down the line she was cheating on some guy with me.

So yes, my answer is pretty anecdotal and deserves the disclaimer "Not all women are like that," but I'm an asshole, bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks!

They just cheating more than they used to... thus ergo and therefore, they be ghosting more than they used to.

Everything I say is right!

[Asker]

that was one of the therories as to why that one girl ghosted me , that she had been with other guys or was with another guy. although i was never able to get any solid answer either way back then what was going on with her

[V_Injector]

Another common trope about women is that they have a very hard time taking accountability.

That only adds to why they ghost. Easier to just ghost than tell you straight up what's going on. I made the mistake the first couple times of messaging them asking "What did I do?" and "What's going on?" and I'd get non-answer answers if I got any answer at all. Both times I found out they were cheating on men. When it came to the 3rd and 4th time I just assumed they were probably cheating and I found out they too were just cheating on men.

Now I just throw it out there, "I don't care if you just cheated on some dude, I just like fucking you and my cock is ready for more." Even then they try to play it off like they're not cheating on someone, but it does equal more of them coming back for more.

In today's dating market... they make 1990's gangster rappers sound 100% correct about women. If you find one that's not like that, a real 'NAWALT' type of woman, you are a lucky lucky man.

Me... I got my main chick, my side chicks, but I always remind myself that I'm not special and that no woman is ever really yours, it was just your turn. They all turn into cheating trash as soon as they think it's worth it.

[V_Injector]

I just wanted to add... abundance mindset. Women have dick thrown at them all the time. It's easy for them to not really care because of that. As a dude, you could only be that way if you're top shelf, rich, buff with all the muscles, and... you basically have the mark of the beast. <--Look that up, I don't want to explain it.

[coachTanthony]

No they are the norm. Doing the right thing will get you nowhere. Just ghost.

[Crimsyjo]

I hate ghosting and I hate being ghosted. I think everyone should just be grown up and honest if there's a reason to stop talking. And if the other person doesn't accept the reason then it's OK to "ghost" but I wouldn't see it as ghosting then. More a case of not responding because you explained your piece and you are done. However, there are a few times when it is a tricky conundrum. Like if you are talking to a few multiple potential dates and one seems more of a potential... but you nor sure. So the others, you don't want to lose them but also don't want to encourage them until you suss out the current one. Then it's tricky and you can end up just not messaging for a few days or weeks whilst you figuring things out. Not saying it's right. But there are reasons it happens that isn't just being rude or ignorant.

[Smashingdoozy]

I don't know why people get so hung up on someone not wanting to talk to them anymore. Clearly they're not interested so why would you waste energy on that? Would them telling you they don't want to speak to you anymore because of so and so reason really be enough for you? Closure is bullshit. You can move on from someone without any explanation.

[itsclearlynicholas]

I'd rather just some GAG users either say they don't want to chat outright rather than leaving a guy hanging and unblocked lol

[tremendousfern]

It doesn't bother me. It's just a coffee date, it's not like I actually know the girl. Plus I can understand it from the women's perspective that it's just easier to stop talking to a guy you don't click with after the first date because so many men these days are desperate incels that think they're owed something after they go out on a single date with a girl. I wouldn't want to put up with some chick trying to guilt trip me into staying in contact with her either.

[RSav4013]

Unfortunately it sounds like a you problem. It could be a good idea to self-assess and think about what you're doing that triggers the ghosting. I think as long as there's chemistry between people and both people are making an effort to stay engaged, ghosting won't happen. If the chemistry or effort isn't there though, ghosting happens. I think it's more prevalent now because people have been become bored with trying. If I'm ghosted, it's because we weren't a good match and I'll move on.

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah, people definitely don't seem to know how to communicate, or have too much of an abundance mindset to the point where they just up and look for the next best thing like a sociopath.. Not, calling them a sociopath but it's definitely apathetic behavior..

[ProbablyClueless]

I think so... people have gotten to the point where they ghost out of good relationships as a means of solving problems over the smallest things.

Lots of good relationships have ended over no apparent reason.

[itsclearlynicholas]

I've been ghosted many times, usually by women, sometimes even by men on here even who seemed cool and then seemed to get bored of me talking sport talking current affairs blah blah blah. why do abrupt and mean lol I thought lol 👻👻 ghosts

[itsclearlynicholas]

I'm in the same boat where chicks go silent and I'm like, they haven't blocked me, they don't wanna chat. Guys haven't blocked me, yet there they are silent. Was it something I said or typed, lol

[bobalife]

It’s the new norm unfortunately. A lot of people don’t know basic communication anymore 🙄

[Asker]

i've been through situations that didn't make any sense and kept asking why wouldn't this person have just tried talking to me to explain things and at least we'd have closure

[bobalife]

Maybe they’re not emotionally mature, scare to have the talk/can’t talk, or you may have done something wrong. Did you try reaching out for closure? I don’t think it hurts, but most people will be like “just move on” lol. I like to believe every situation is different and you do whatever you feel most comfortable :)

Typically I would move on since I’d feel like it’s not worth it if someone can’t simply communicate concerns/conflict resolutions/or just end things.

[bobalife]

Forgot to add that even though people do normalize this; it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s healthy and always okay. I think people these days forget the basic foundation of dating and relationships.

[Asker]

for sure a lot of people do not know what they are doing or care about other people

[Likes2drive]

Yeah, it’s getting out of control because people are too afraid to actually tell the other person why they are not interested or don’t want to talk to them

[Asker]

i know like no one wants to actually talk to anyone anymore even if it might resolve the situation or make things better

[Likes2drive]

Yeah, it would at least give you closure instead of wondering what happened

[Asker]

had the same though after a situation i dealt with a year or so ago. like why not provide some answers and closure so we could both move on with our lives and so we'd not wonder what happened? and even now still don't really know why

[Asker]

my speculation at the time was that she had another boyfriend in another city which was why i had never meet him or seen him with her. as she went to another city for school when not in my area during the summer. you think she would of at least wanted me to know the truth but apparently now

[Likes2drive]

Apparently they weren’t a nice enough person to tell you why they didn’t want to talk to you anymore

[Asker]

i know it was so weird cause i had talked to them many times before inperson yet they for some reason felt they could not deal with me or provide any closure. it was like weird and so rude to do this. like she knew me well and could of talked to me , why disappear into thin air and provide zero answers

[Likes2drive]

They just don’t care about anyone else but themselves I guess

[Asker]

never did ever get the true story about that girl , even her girlfriend's here would not talk to me about her , infact no one from that circle of people would talk to me about her.

whatever the truth was it must of been really bad if she wouldn't even speak to me about it. does really make you wonder what she was actually up to in that other city. i know she'd drink a lot and i'd see pictures online of her in clothes so revealing she'd never wear here yet wore every night out there. whatever the truth was it must of been really bad for her to not even speak about it , even if she didn't really have a boyfriend you get the feeling she was up to something and had been with other men there sexually

[Likes2drive]

I usually just move on and focus on someone better

[Asker]

i suppose ghosting is an act of selfishness in that sense although it didn't really help her out as it provided me with no closure so i was left wondering for months what the story was and never ever really got the truth about her to this day.

like wouldn't it of been easier to just talk to me in private , unless the truth was like so bad she couldn't speak about it , if she had really had sex with different men when there or whatever she had done

[Likes2drive]

She care enough to bother or take into consideration your feelings, basically selfishness

[Asker]

no i never got the impression that she cared , obvivously in this situation i was free to meet other people and buy other girls drinks at the bar. wasn't any reason to not see other people

but does give me a bad vibe that whatever she was hiding from me there was really bad. i knew her at bars and restaurants here but she'd never like wear revealing tops or outfits here. so definitely a red flag that she dressed that way in that city but not here. seems really off , almost like she was living a double life and completely different people there than back home

[Likes2drive]

Actually I meant she didn’t care, probably a double life

[Asker]

no i never got the impression that she cared much about me. does seem like a double life if she was acting so much different in another city hours away. being that far from home and with different people would give someone the oppurtunity to live a double life.

but so weird cause i always saw her at a bar here and she was drinking yet she never wore clothes that showed cleveage or belly yet in that city does every night. so something does seem to be up with her fro sure

[Paris13]

To Me, It's Online and It Happens. Sure, Could Be Getting Worse, Especially By Catfish Cons. xxoo

[Nikki1989]

Nah, if it happens, I take no notice of it. People need to grow up and move on.

[boggboss]

Its already at the point of it happens to most people

[Ms_Facesitter]

Only invest time in people who are worth it and it'll happen very rarely.

[Juxtapose]

This has been my experience as well. Be picky with who you keep company with and your discretion will be rewarded.

[Ms_Facesitter]

It's been years since I have been ghosted and hurt. If a stranger ghosts, you shouldn't feel anything, they didn't establish a priper bond with you for them to be Someone to you.

[Juxtapose]

Well of course that's how it should be. But judging by how some of these scammers act with their tactics? They get away with a lot of awful manipulation and they are flabbergasted when you have the will to resist them.

I had a girl I was chatting with online get really mad when I would not give her money for her supposed grandmother. She tried to bargain with promises of filming sexual videos and whatnot and it was so fucking disgusting.

I'm autistic but at least I can see through that bullshit.

[sheikalana]

I feel like this always happened but now people gave it a name and it's more talked about.

[Yannae]

It rarely happened to me, it's been years. Choose the people you surround yourself with wisely.

[DreamLife7]

Ghosting means they aren't interested on you. Move on

[Asker]

true but sometimes its better to explain things so the other person has closure , i know obviously if someone disappears there not interested in seeing the other person. i think the way people do this just gives people the wrong vibe a lot of the time , like they were being rude to them

[DreamLife7]

No one owes you an explanation. It's better you just move on 🤷🏼‍♀️ and accept the fact they aren't interested.

[Asker]

was a girl i stopped talking to in my town , not sure if you'd say i ghosted her as i only ever saw her at the restaurant where she worked and never anywhere else. but its not that i didn't like her personally , infact i really liked her. i just like hated the situation and circumstances where i knew her and it didn't even seem very real. like i want someone real in my life not like a fake friendship with someone who works in a restaurant.

so i didn't like the circumstances and situation but was interested in her just would prefer to know her under different situation and be able to actually spend time with her as real friends not a customer

[DreamLife7]

Move on

[DreamLife7]

She's not interested just move on

[Asker]

i haven't been to the restaurant where that girl worked since jan 5th so i haven't seen or heard anything from her since then. bought other girls drinks at other bars since then too , nothing much seems to come out of any of them though

[DreamLife7]

Move on.. I don't know why you're still going on and on

[Asker]

this post was to talk about ghostings and why there happening so much now , people just seem to have a lot to say about this topic.

i don't even have that girls social media or # , we haven't talked in over a month and neither of us seem to really care much and perhaps realised we each wanted something different

[postaldudePL123]

@dreamlife7 💯 agree 👍

[DreamLife7]

Yeah not sure why he keeps going on and on

[Juxtapose]

If you ever claimed to care about that person? Yeah, you do owe them an explanation.

[Chelsdope0]

@Juxtapose lol she’s rude just don’t respond

[Juxtapose]

@Chelsdope0 calling out shitty behavior is effective. Not all the time, not immediately but it is effective.

[DreamLife7]

@Juxtapose you're not going to get the validation you want to move on. That's life get over it. @Chelsdope0 save the energy for the guy who pumped and dumped you lol. Still mad I suppose don't care. Next time close your legs

[Chelsdope0]

Lmaoo who was pumped and dumped? I need to know!

[Juxtapose]

@dreamlife7 I already talked about this with my last girlfriend and even though she is my ex we still play video games and have fun. We're chill about it because we communicated like adults.

I personally think validating selfish behavior is a mistake. Shaming selfish behavior works and you can see it in societies with strict social standards.

[Juxtapose]

In Japan you can leave a wallet laying around in a train because of the power of social shaming and people won't steal it.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Counted as a blessing. No one shouldn't desire to be with someone that isn't serious about them.

[HouseMoat]

Just proves that guys and girls really can't be "just friends"

[Asker]

i know had the same though over the years when this occured

[HouseMoat]

Right?

[Mangospacho]

It is getting out of control. The federal government needs to step in. It’s about time.

[Shy_Steve]

Yes, Dating itself is getting out of Control.

[laly520]

almost everyone ghosting others nowadays

[Asker]

which is why its getting out of control right? no one wants to deal with anything

[Minahh]

Yeah majority of people are shit

[noohair]

Is ghosting, not "Are".

[OddBeMe]

No, you guys are. Stop caring and move on.