"It's not that nobody wants me. Nobody I want wants me". I don't have unrealistic beauty standards. Maybe high moral standards. After so much rejection it's hard to keep pursuing women. I know it's my fault and not theirs because it seems I do something wrong or there is something wrong with me. I do my best to make myself more attractive, since I go to the gym and run 7km every day.
Hey man, don't be so hard on yourself. Rejection is tough, but it's totally normal too. Here are a few things that might help:
- Focus on putting yourself out there more casually without the pressure of "pursuing" anyone. Try making new friends of any gender and just chatting people up in low-key social settings without expectations.
- Work on being more confident in who you are rather than changing yourself too much for others. Hitting the gym is great, but do it for you, not just to impress women.
- Consider putting yourself in situations where you have shared interests/activities with people rather than relying so much on looks. Join a club, sports team, gaming group, etc.
- When chatting someone up, ask them questions about themselves rather than talking about yourself too much at first. People want to feel heard.
- Don't take it personally if someone's not into you. Their preferences say nothing about your worth. There are plenty of great people out there.
- Consider dating apps too if approaching strangers is harder. At least you know people are open to meeting.
Hang in there, man. Rejection blows but it gets easier with practice and time. Keep putting yourself out there in a lighter way and the right connection will happen!
Try to make to shift your mindset to a positive one by changing your habits - it does take some time.
Here's how I see it for myself:
- The answer will always be "no" if you do not ask
- Take pride in the fact you didn't let your fear of rejection hold you back
- Rejecting someone or being rejected is not a bad thing. It is nothing personal, as it just means you both are not compatible.
- This helps builds your tolerance for rejection, which down the road you'll be more comfortable around girls if you keep at it.
Also, a lot of this is just timing and luck. Some days you're not as funny, friendly, or energized, which goes for them too. There are so many factors that go into it
Opinion
2Opinion
This might sound counter-intuitive but I think it's better not to pursue women. Like don't show up to a place hoping to a get a girlfriend.
Just look for good times and if you meet a nice girl, just look to have a nice conversation and then take it from there. If you're clicking really well, then you should reach a point where it'll almost seem guaranteed that she'll agree to a date.
It also helps to value yourself enough so that it's not just about impressing her but her impressing you as well. When you're too much in pursuit mode, you tend to get rejected by girls who don't even impress you. When you take it easy on that and just look to have good times, you tend to get more accepted by girls who impress you just as much as you impress them.
So be sociable and put yourself out there and make friends and socialize, but don't try so hard to get a girl. One step at a time. Try as much as possible to forget that goal.
2 ways man.
Either you have to be born with the attitude that you want what you want and f*** what she thinks. You're going to say and do whatever you need to to make that happen.
I don't sense you're this guy. Because if you were you wouldn't be asking this question.
So you're hamstrung with a conscious. You care what women think about you. You have to suppress that as much as humanly possible. You have to make yourself numb to rejection. Most guys do this by getting rejected so much that they build up a callous to it.
You have to learn that a woman's rejection isn't personal. She's not actually rejecting you. She rejecting her PERCEPTION of who you are. Women typically do not choose partners well. Look at this site that should be glaringly obvious.😆 So when a woman is rejecting you she may be telling you you're not good enough. But most women have no idea what good is. So don't take it personal.
You'll get there eventually man.
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