Do you generally feel that you are ready for a new relationship, or do you need to work on yourself a bit more?

[Anonymous]

[jennifer_bloom]

I would say I think I'd be a very good wife but not sure about a good mother, I'm a responsible and caring person but I also have low pain tolerance, low stress tolerance and low muscle strength and a lot of physical things are involved in raising a child, like carrying a baby in your arms, staying up long hours to breast feed etc...

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I just went with the flow when I was single. Was always working on myself and try to whittle away at my flaws, but I figure if I met a woman who's accepting of my flaws, I don't have to fix all of them right away.

I never thought in absolute terms like that. It's all relative to the woman I'm talking to and possibly becoming interested in dating. She'll have flaws too. I'll have flaws. Do we know about them and accept them or not?

At least that's how I thought. I was very flawed still when I met my wife now of over 14 years. Didn't stop us from dating each other and ultimately marrying.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I also always figured if I met a very compatible woman that she might help me to overcome my flaws and I can help her overcome hers. We grow together and accelerate each other's self-improvement. So I never thought of it like I need to become ready.

[Asker]

I don't think it's ever about trying to achieve perfection. That doesn't exist, but you were ready to find someone else because for you, you started looking for someone who accepted your flaws. If you are still crippled by your flaws, or perceive things as flaws that aren't really, then you may have not been ready at that point to find someone, but it took you a moment to figure it out.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think in my case, I also never pursued relationships or women in a generalized sense. I didn't show up to places looking to get a date. I just showed up to have good times, ideally some nice conversations. I didn't even show up to make friends; I did but that wasn't my game plan. I just wanted to enjoy myself and I've always been about compatibility above all else.

Some people see this like a process with goals and plans and expectations associated. I have a couple of buds, for example, who told me when they reached around 30 that they are now ready to settle down and marry, and that made zero sense to me because they didn't even have a girlfriend at the time. Yet they ended up finding a woman and marrying within a year after. It's like it doesn't matter to them to find the most compatible woman, just that they are ready to marry, at which point just about any woman who comes their way that they find attractive will do.

I've always been much pickier than that. I only considered dating a woman if we were really clicking after deeply opening up to each other, and only marrying if I found them extraordinary enough to devote the rest of my life to them and seemed to love and accept me at my worst as much as I loved and accepted them at their worst.

So the idea of being ready was not something that I ever considered too much but perhaps mainly because I was never pursuing anything. I just went with the flow.

[sawno]

Both, depends on what my next partner wants and expects. I'm still working on my physical health but mentally I am fully ready. If she's fine with me still working on my health in the meantime I am ready for her to come in my life and be embraced by my love. If she expects me to be in good physical stamina she will have to hold on until I figure out the cure the doctors can't find.

[Tiptoetamm]

Personally I feel I need to work on myself. Reflect before getting into a new relationship. I need time to heal think and move past everything. For me anyway I put my all into a relationship. I love so hard so I need that time to know that the next person is right for me. Sure have fun go on date but nothing serious and I make that perfectly clear to them

[TonyMetal___86]

A sincere wonderful tammy 😊
I'm glad that you still have hope in love, because when you put your whole self in a relationship just so that the other ends it just like that for shallow or stupid reasons, it will create wounds in you that might not heal over time and even if they did, you will always have this question, what if the next one will end up like the previous one while i just can't take any shot anymore and didn't knew how i already have healed... etc

[Tiptoetamm]

Yeah. Believe me I have those thoughts. But I've come to realize the best love is within. Once you love within it's easier to trust yourself in a relationship. Keeping boundaries. Setting the intention early on. That's what I do anyway

[TonyMetal___86]

Miss tammy, you only hear what the other person wants you to hear, he can be honest and he can be a liar or maybe a person who ain't smart or strong enough to keep his words and promises...

There is always a risk because we are only aware of our thoughts but do not know what the other is hiding from us...

We only hope that when we fall for someone that he/she are honest and loyal...

[Tiptoetamm]

@TonyMetal___86 exactly. You have to trust them. That's really hard for me to do. I have to check myself all the time. I've been in a few toxic relationships so I've picked up some bad behaviors. Ugh why I need healing. So I didn't punish the next person in with if that makes sense

[TonyMetal___86]

It does make sense, actually that's a normal behavior where your previous experiences had taught you how to not fall for the wrong people again and to give importance to some details which you used to ignore but after all realized that these little things that you have ignored are the reason for the negative outcome later...

It's a part of human evolution, how do you think that the ancient homosapien survived and thrived, it's because everytime they went out to hunt or to do anything else, they learned from their mistakes and experiences, if they weren't capable of learning from their previous experiences than they would fall in the same trap and mistake everytime!

[TonyMetal___86]

For example miss tammy life had taught me that i shouldn't always believe and listen to what others are feeling towards me...
If i'm in love with a girl, she keeps telling me: "i love you, you're my everything, i swear that i can't live without you, bla bla bla..." suddenly out of nowhere she dump me and says: "i feel that i don't love you anymore or care about you the way i used to so we better break up" and me i was like "wth, what just happened, how and why... etc, you told me that i'm your world, your oxygen, just how! And i feel completely lost" so after all this, life had taught me that next time when a girl tells me this, i have to be aware that it might be just a current feeling and to never take her words seriously so i don't get hurt later if he changes her mind and to never believe a person just from what he/she says, this made me look to their actions towards me a lot more than what they have to tell me...

This was one example, there are many more!

Also you don't get to learn only from your experiences, let's say you saw what happened to your best friend, you will learn from their experiences too, wherever you look to see and hear, it's a lesson learned!

Even when you're here on gag reading about other people's cases, you will add their experiences to your mind so you become more immune to the shocks of this life that might occur anytime in your face!

[Tiptoetamm]

@TonyMetal__86. That was beautifully said. Damn that moved me a little. Your so on point with this. So damn true. I never thought about it that way. That's pretty fuckin cool. Thank you

[TonyMetal___86]

You're welcome sweet miss tammy, good people deserves to be happy and pain free and also deserves to be treated the way they treated the others...

I wish you the best and keep smiling 😊

[Account]

I have worked on myself enough, yet I don't want to get into a new relationship because other people don't work on themselves enough.
Shit. I am being too sincere.

[Anonymous]

Your reasoning is already wrong from the origin because life is a path, you have to construct it and work on yourself every moment of it. The moment it stops it means your individual sticks into a form and creates mental boundaries. So, to answer your question, If you care about the other part, the meaning of life is to work together and find someone to do it together.

[naartjie]

I am ready but I don’t actually want one right now. Funny the first time in my life that I’ve actually felt content being alone. Something someone here told me recently kind of put my head in the right place.

[TonyMetal___86]

It's because you're affraid of getting hurt and affraid to give everything you have for the wrong person, especially that these days, animals are more loyal to you than humans...
You know yourself, you know what you're able to give but do not know how the other is thinking and what's truly going on in his/her brain and that's what's called "the fear of the unknown"...

You're a good girl miss @naartjie i hope that you fall for the right guy...

[libsaretards]

I have work to do on myself. The way life is going, I have pretty much given up on finding someone. Occasionally the desire will pop up, but then I remind myself of how dating works in the modern day and quickly get over it.

[sheenagwapa]

i am Sleeping Beauty only true love can awakes me 😂😂😂😂 /jk yeah i am still not responsible enough and this has been my wuest since i was 11 years old. i am not even kiddinh

[PeachyPie93]

Sometimes I think I am ready but everyone tells me I need to work on myself more lol. So no point.

[19magic]

Sometimes I feel like there are some things that can't be fixed unless you are in a relationship.

[SolitarySolace]

I’ve been working on myself for 9 straight years sense my last relationshit. I’m so content being single I don’t plan on getting into a relationship at all.

[Nikki1989]

I was always ready. Life is too short and life is for living.

[Asker]

I agree that one should get out there because the clock is ticking for all of us, but there is also a lot of value in not dragging someone into you being a total mess over a past break up or trauma or crippling insecurities, etc. when you haven't at least begun to process that in a healthy way or give yourself a bit of time to heal.

[JHAYES317]

Probably need to work on myself…but I feel like life is working on yourself…so I’ll never be at the point where I’m done working on myself…

[laurlaur101]

To be honest I don't know if I’m ever going to be ready that’s just me I don't know how anything is going to workout it’s my fault tbh

[lucas262]

I'd like to make enough money we don't have to stress about bills, do enough gym I can be pleasing to her, id like to have a place for the 2 of us to live.

[KittygosMeoWW]

I need to work on myself a lot lol but I’ve been abstinent for almost a year now and debating if I should change that…. Feeling feral 🤣👌

[DextroShade]

Usually when women say they are "working on themselves" it's just womanese for "riding the cock carousel".

[Peridot25]

If that’s the case, then I should jump right into a relationship and make my partner miserable with my mental issues. That sounds like a great fucking idea.

[Peridot25]

But, hey! That’s what relationships are about, right? Make your partner miserable and put a strain on your relationship instead of taking care of yourself first.

[Peridot25]

Because who cares about your own well being? As long as you’re in a relationship, at least you’re not considered a fucking slut or whore. Am I right?

[DextroShade]

@Peridot25 if you want to resign yourself to the streets you should, because no man should have to suffer you. Women who say they are working on themselves are usually unable to actually do so because it requires taking accountability and they are incapable of that. Instead, they just try a bunch of stupid woowoo crap and expect it to magically fix them while they continue the same behaviors that messed them up in the first place.

[Peridot25]

@DextroShade I’m trying to take care of myself mentally first. It’s so fucked up you assume shit about me without asking questions first all because I’m a woman. I’m trying to do the right thing and not make my future partner miserable. But, what do you care? You’re a worthless piece of shit who lumps women altogether.

[Peridot25]

I have never been in a relationship before. I’m still a fucking virgin at 31. You know what I do in my spare time? Work and stay home. That’s it. I don’t go out. I’m literally at home with my dog right now. If you don’t believe me, I can take pictures right now if you want me to.

[DextroShade]

@Peridot25 if you are a virgin at 31 there is something seriously wrong with you for throwing away your prime reproductive years. That dog is going to be your only company, so congratulations on wasting your life!

[Peridot25]

@DextroShade Oh well. At least I didn’t sleep around or hop in a relationship out of desperation and have it fail later on 🤷‍♀️

[Peridot25]

And let’s be honest, the way my mental state is, I couldn’t handle raising a child. I rather have no kids than have kids I know I would regret. At least I don’t have kids from dozens of baby daddies. You should be proud of me for that.

[Jamie05rhs]

Working on one's self is a lifelong process. And yes, I am ready for a relationship.

[Sameone]

Aim always ready for relationship
Even if i brokup this week next week aim in new relationship

[TonyMetal___86]

I think that i'm done for real, unless a miracle happens!

[KrakenAttackin]

No, I have a ways to go and may never have another relationship.

[Peridot25]

I hope soon I can find someone. But, honestly, I’m scared because I feel like I’m not good enough.

[TonyMetal___86]

You are good enough, just have some self esteem and trust yourself, be who you are! Let them love you for who you are...

[Anonymous]

I'm ready, but most women are not. So here I'll likely stay.