My boyfriend broke up with me saying "it's just not working anymore and I feel pressured". Now mixed feelings.

draconia11
Hey, I am having a major problem here. I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 6 months. We met at college, and a lot of our relationship was spent apart as we live in different states.

We were going out for a while, and things seemed to be going good, when suddenly things that he said just weren't clear to me anymore. He started pulling away from me over the summer, and didn't seem happy when we talked. I am generally shy and he is too, but he never wants to communicate and I do. I really love him still, even though I tried to say that we could just be friends.

I think I may have pushed him away more because I am clingy when he started pulling away. it made me bitter and I said some things I shouldn't have. I explained to him why this was happening and apologized though. We made up, and I drove 7 hours a few days later to meet at his house over the summer.

Things seemed to be good while I was there. We laughed and had a good time together. There was one point where he started to cry and say that he felt like I want enjoying being there. I clearly was, and told him this...I am still wondering what this meant or why he would think this.

So, we broke up over the phone about 5 days after I got back home, and of course this made me emotional and confused. He broke up with me, and I didn't know why because I was really trying and thought I was succeeding at improving my emotional behavior.

So, about a few weeks went by where I tried to be friends, and he said we should, but conversations always went back to relationship stuff in one way or another, and he pulled away.

But, later on, we began talking again and it seemed to be going really good (this was all over IM by the way because he doesn't like to call which was a problem before). We were talking like friends and having a good time. but suddenly one day he said we should start doing stuff, but not be in a relationship..

This at first made me really mad, and I later asked a lot of questions about why he would suggest this. He says e doesn't love me anymore and just wants to be friends, but why would he want to continue doing stuff with me (and not even sex!) This confuses me a lot. he says he has mixed feelings when I asked him how he would feel about just getting back together. I don't know why he wouldn't because basically what we would be doing was the same thing as what he was suggesting, but he didn't want to call it a relationship, and wanted to call it "casual." Most of the time I would say he just wants sexual pleasure from me, but I don't think that is the case. He says he isn't ready for a relationship with me again, but won't tell me if it is never possible. He doesn't seem to like commitment is my opinion, and doesn't like when I ask him how he feels even though we are supposed to be friends...

We hung out last night and cuddled. He slept over, but only sleeping. I now really regret agreeing to this because it just felt weird when he left in the morning. What should I do?
Updates:
+1 y
I really want to know what is going on, but he just won't open up to me. I don't know whether or not he is really confused, or if he is just trying to avoid me...hopefully time will tell.
+1 y
Oh, and a while ago, when we were first broken up, he said something about "his love not being good enough". I don't know what he meant by this. Maybe he felt like he didn't have the same feelings I do?
+1 y
it's totally over now. I tried to talk to him and be friends, and we agreed on it, but he just agreed with everything I said regardless what it was. I don't think he even cares to be friends really. So when he got mad at something I said that wasn't...
+1 y
...even about him, that was enough. He is just not compatible with me at all. The relationship started in the wrong way, and now it is ending that I don't even want to be friends. All he did was make me miserable. I told him to leave me alone and I will.
My boyfriend broke up with me saying "it's just not working anymore and I feel pressured". Now mixed feelings.
11
9
Add Opinion