How can I cope with the fact that im almost 30 and never had a girlfriend or had sex before?

[Anonymous]

Feel like fucking loser. There are men younger than me who have already experienced those things and are thriving. But my lame ass is older and hasn't even dated a woman before. It's pathetic isn't it

[robhazelnut]

There are many who have had lots of sex and are miserable. There are many who have had many romantic partners and are miserable. There are many who have had only one romantic and secual partner and married them and had children and are themselves miserable.

The same goes for having access to billions of dollars, to the most powerful weapons on the planet and the most powerful blackmail.

There are tjose who seem to possess very little and who are joyful by their own nature.

One is not the body, which is reslly just a particular accumulation of doul, nor the mind, which is just an accumulation of impressions.

You can become joy. Cultivating meditativeness is a fine way to do so.

[robhazelnut]

I meant to type "soil, not "doul".

[DextroShade]

You are far from alone: 1 in 3 men are either virgins or haven't had sex in over a year. Also, the majority of men who have ever lived didn't get to reproduce.

You should start listening to Andrew Tate or someone like that, he is popular for a reason.

[ManOnFire]

I'm not gonna tell you to try to look good or build up your self-esteem, I'm sure you already know those things. I think what is probably holding you back - and what holds back a lot of guys in today's times - is that you worry what will happen if you do try to talk to a woman.

You might worry that she'll ignore you, or seem cool at first but then the next time you see her she'll act like you did something wrong, or you worry maybe things start to work out and then she ghosts you. I am assuming these things may play a big part in your situation. Women are pretending that men's problems with not getting a partner or getting sex are all about men and their state of mind or lack of confidence, when in today's culture it's a lot about women, what they're doing, and how they're making men feel.

However, you might as well get in there and try to make moves. There are going to be failures, embarrassing moments, rejections, etc. but you need those in order to get better, gain experience, and succeed. And you won't always fail either. Some moves you make will be a hit. Try it.

[Asker]

You believe in gurantees?

[ManOnFire]

Yeah, somewhat.

[MrOracle]

Pretend you were shopping for a used car and you had $10,000 to spend. You find two cars that are the make and model you are looking for, both with the same miles on them. One of them is clean, freshly waxed, and ready to go. The other is filthy, full of trash, and has dry-rotted tires on it. Which one are you going to choose? Naturally, you want the one that is ready to go, today.

That's what women want in a man: one that is ready to go today. What this means is that you need to get yourself ready ahead of time. Get and keep a haircut. Wear some stylish clothes (not designer labels, but definitely something better than a tank top and sweats). Have a decent car and keep it clean. Keep your house/room clean. And then, go out into the world and meet girls. Before you even approach a girl, ASSUME she's going to turn you down, and resolve to be completely fine with that - and then approach her anyway. If she turns you down, smile, say "thanks anyway" and walk away - and be fine with it. Hell, put some music on the jukebox and dance a little, because you're not phased at all.

You've got to have that attitude - you're completely FINE with rejection, because you EXPECT it, and yet you're asking anyway. That will make you more confident, and a lot less desperate - and THAT is going to make you more attractive to more women. That doesn't mean you're going to get every woman, or even the one specific woman you REALLY like, but you will start to get "yes" answers.

Girls aren't going to wait for you to get yourself together sometime down the road, though - you have to be ready to go on whatever day you meet them.

[OlderAndWiser]

What is holding you back. . . other than you?

[Finchie40]

I couldn’t imagine , sorry man ,

[Anonymous]

It helps to remember that everyone goes through life at their own pace. I know men in their 40s who have never dated or had sex, and I know men who’ve been in relationships and wished they were single. Some people date and have sex with many people and eventually reap the consequences; difficulty with emotional bonding, sexually transmitted diseases, trauma, low self esteem, unplanned pregnancy, single parenthood, multiple children from multiple people, disappointment, and etc.

Try not to compare yourself too much to others, because you never know if someone is truly happy in their position.

[verylovelyguy]

Where do you live

find Asian massage parlors

get lap dance at strip club

go to sex club

nude beach

buy pulse solo essential and wear under your pants in public

stare at hot girls at the gym

Go to crowded nightclub or any crowded places with female presence

go to dog shelter and see if they let you walk female dog

behave inappropriately on video with random girls

go on jerkmate

be willing to use unethical means to obtain sexual pleasure from girls. What do you have to lose at this point

[Anonymous]

By looking at the other side of it. The bright side! You're looking at the cup as half full. You also haven't dated or married a woman who f***ed your brother, your friends, gave you an incurable disease STD, wrecked your life and your finances then left you and took half your 💩.

You're still young enough that a lot of your friends are probably still in LT relationships or married. Give that a out 5-10 more years. And You're going to start seeing that change with at least half them. Then they'll be praying you.

Believe me man. You're not missing much. Any fool with a wallet can get laid if he really wants to.

[Drumlin2001]

Been there, done that. I was a 35yr old virgin, not even a kiss. I know the self loathing that comes with it.
Snap out of the self pity. Only you can make the change. You need to be proactive, put yourself out there. You can turn it around.
By the time I was 40, I had a fiancé and 2 kids.

[PeachyPie93]

It's not that big a deal. If there is a will, there is a way lol. Are you appealing to the opposite sex? No? Then get your hair done and dress nice, make sure it isn't dorky.
Are you willing to ask girls out? No? Get counselling to work on your confidence. Believe in yourself look for a girlfriend if that is what you want, but what is even easier is sluts, just look like a fuckboy they will fuck you.

[Hellraiser1984]

I'm 40 in the same boat. I really just lost interest in them and focus on myself. Marriage really is a scam. Kids suck. You can do whatever you want and spend money on things just for yourself. I earned an associates degree in fine arts. I can make metal sculpture now. I'm going back for one in photography. Now women won't leave me alone.

[rosemilk]

by realizing there's more to life than that and to not compare yourself to others timelines. you can work on trying to improve whatever is holding you back

[Asker]

Wish there was a reset button to start life all over again but as someone different

[rosemilk]

i often feel like that too, but for other things
which is why we shouldn't waste any more time. or accept it. both are hard

[LordMadara]

You are from a wrong generation or a cursed generation

You can blame the Reptilians for all your woes they the ones controlling the narrative of the sex world

[NewgodOmega]

Go extreme mgtow, its safe its peaceful plus look around you so many people are divorce raped and many commit suicide you already survived that
You should consider yourself lucky and keep it that way

[ProbablyClueless]

Take solace in the fact that there are A LOT of men in your position (women too). I think it's safe to say that modern dating just sucks for everyone,

[ShadezMcgee]

The question is, what are you doing about it to change your situation?

[Asker]

You assume i haven't tried

[ShadezMcgee]

Doing something is better than complaining is what I am getting at.

Plus, when I see "Feel like fucking loser. There are men younger than me who have already experienced those things and are thriving. But my lame ass is older and hasn't even dated a woman before. It's pathetic isn't it?"

Yeah, that is a defeatist and complaining and poor me, pity me attitude. It looks like that is what you do more of than trying to improve your life.

So again, my question still stands. What HAVE you done to better YOUR situation?

[Asker]

I forgot we live in a just world. You're right

[Nikki1989]

With that attitude, it is not surprising.

[Asker]

This wasn't my default attitude

[Billlewis]

I'm a 'born again virgin', and I haven't gotten any pussy for more than 26 years... lol

[laly520]

work on ur self esteem first

women won't go anywhere u aren't missing anything big

[Asker]

Im getting older. The older i get, the more of a fuckup i feel

[laly520]

no u aren't that old

[Asker]

Not young either

[laly520]

it isn't too late for u to find a girl n date
u got plenty of time

[BoopBoopBeep]

Bro, I'm not young either and I get tons of female attention, don't sweat that side of things, but you got a lot of people here saying you gotta be proactive and you're telling them you have, but you haven't said what that looks like. What are you doing on weekends to meet single women? If you say anything about bars or clubs you've already lost the plot.

[IHateBeingaMan]

i think cases like this are becoming more common, and another reminder on how my mindset and mentality has changed towards relationships, dating over the years

[Abbycado]

Well, with that attitude, you won’t get far. That’s what needs to change first.

[Asker]

My attitude didn't happen overnight. It became the way it did over time

[Abbycado]

Doesn’t change what I said.

[Asker]

Good attitude doesn't guranteee anything

[Abbycado]

Bad attitude got you where? 30 and bitchin. Roll with that then.

[Asker]

Women - the empathetic gender 👌

[Abbycado]

Men - the real whiners 👌

[Asker]

Women - We want men to be more open and express themselves

Also women:

[BoopBoopBeep]

I've never had a real woman say to me that I need to be more open and express yourself more. I have heard her say "do you think we have enough firewood for winter?" Or "How are the food supplies in the storm cellar?"

You're a grown man @Abbycado isn't here to blow sunshine up your butt and you shouldn't want that anyway. There are tons of women out there who are looking for a man (either for the night or for her partner). Everybody is like "It's so hard to date now a days" but they don't do anything but swipe on apps. I've been asked out all but 3 weekends this year because I'm out and active in the community where women are at. Many of them are single. The ones that aren't have friends that are. Friday I'm meeting the daughter of a woman I met last weekend who thought I was charming. 90% of the times I've been on a college campus I've been flirted with or asked out. I'm not some GigaChat but I actually talk to people in real life and have zero interest in dating apps. If I can do it there is literally no reason that you can't do it too.

[Asker]

@BoopBoopBeep There's plenty of women who say that. You've never heard that before? Good for you. That's your experience. This girl didn't need rescuing mr white knight

[Awesomesauce2005]

Dont feel bad, im the same way. I will meet you in another 10 years.

[Anonymous]

No be positive. Sex and dating isn't everything. Find your issue and work on it.

[AngryCarl]

What do you want, a medal?

[Asker]

Yeah go get me one

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Translator

same here

[Twalli]

DM me. I can help, I was like you until 27.

[abitcurious2022]

People might tease you for being a virgin

[Anonymous]

Another reminder oh well

[Anonymous]

you were very much like me at your age

[slatyb]

See a counselor.

[Anonymous]

Colaman?