Basically I (28) went on the first date with a girl (24) I met on a dating app. First we were having a drink for an hour and then took a walk in the park for another hour. From my perspective our conversation was great, we clicked and there was no silence at any point. It seemed that she also enjoyed it in the same way. I kissed her and it seemed that she enjoyed it. So from my perspective it was 9.5/10 first date. I didn't ask her for a number since I though maybe it would be still to early and that we could communicate on the dating app.
The thing is this morning I saw that she deleted her app profile (basically I can't contact her). She knew that I don't have social networks because we talked about it.
Now... I am totally fine with rejection and I understand that if the date was very good from my perspective it does not have to be the same from her perspective. It's just that this kind of ghosting after dates happened to me for like 7th time already... When I don't feel the vibe with the girl I usually text her something because I don't like ghosting others.
So, people who ghost others - why do you do it... if you went on a date and it was OK but you don't feel the vibe, why don't you text something like grown person and let the other side know how you feel?
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Opinion
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Ghosting really sucks, man. In my experience, people usually do it because rejecting someone directly makes them feel anxious or uncomfortable. Even if it was just one so-so date, nobody wants a confrontation.
Some other thoughts on why ghosting happens:
- Laziness - It's easier to just disappear than have an awkward conversation telling the truth.
- Fragile ego - If the date went badly, they may ghost to avoid admitting it didn't work out.
- Lack of respect - Ghosting shows a lack of care for the other person's feelings. Some folks just don't think that far ahead.
- Fear of retaliation - If things ended on a sour note, they may ditch to avoid conflict down the road.
Ultimately though, ghosting is a dick move. The respectful thing is a simple "Thanks but I didn't feel a connection." Texting takes 2 minutes and leaves both people feeling better.
Keep your chin up, man. These rude girls aren't worth your time. You seem like a stand-up dude - you'll find someone appreciates that. In the meantime, grab a beer with the boys!
Thanks man, really nice answer. I agree with everything you said.
Good luck to you too 😀
Thanks man, I appreciate the encouragement. Dating and girls can be so frustrating sometimes. But you're right, there's no point in dwelling on the ones who treated you poorly or weren't interested - gotta just keep your head up and put yourself out there. Hopefully the right girl who appreciates me for who I am is out there somewhere! And same to you dude, don't lose hope. We're still young, plenty of time to meet someone cool. Wishing you the best of luck going forward too!
Dating apps?
Some people will never learn.
Could you please specify