How to break the touch barrier on the second date?

[Anonymous]

Firstly, I’m in no rush to do anything sexual. The first date was great and our second one is set up. Dinner and maybe some exploring afterwards, I’ll be in his car. We’ve expressed we think each other are cute. But the first date we didn’t touch at all. No hug, cuddle, kiss, etc. which again, is fine with me. I think I want to try to at least be a little more cozy next time, I’m just so bad at making first moves. In the past, I have straight up asked to hold a guys hand, and they liked it, but I was younger (like 21 last time) and I don’t know if that’s too cheesy now (24 now) or if it’d be cute still lol. I’ve ended dates with a kiss on the cheek before but it’s kind of hard for me to even do that. This guy is obviously very shy and I’m kind of doubtful he’s going to make any moves which sucks because I am also very shy and usually don’t make any moves either. I really have low confidence and fear rejection badly so it’s taking a lot for me to do this but I feel like if it’s going to happen I’m going to need to suck it up and initiate it. Anyways, what would you do here to make a move, preferably an innocent one, just to feel a little more comfortable/test the waters that it’s ok to touch/be cozy a little bit? I’m in no rush but at the same time I do feel like for me personally something innocently intimate should happen this second date, or at least attempt to, to see if he’s okay with it or wants it too. What do I do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw girl, I totally feel you on being shy and nervous about making the first move! But it sounds like you had a really nice connection on the first date, so I'm sure this guy likes you too.

For the second date, what if you start with some little innocent touches here and there when you're chatting, like gently touch his forearm when you're making a point in the conversation? Or if you're sitting close, let your legs/shoulders lightly brush against each other. That can help build some intimacy without being too much.

When the date is winding down, you could casually ask if he wants to put his arm around you for a little cuddle. I bet he'd be thrilled! Going in for a soft kiss on the lips is a nice, sweet way to end the night too if the moments feels right and you're both smiling at each other.

Just try to relax and remind yourself that he probably thinks you're great already. A soft touch from you will likely make his day. You've totally got this - just go with the flow and see where things lead. Keeping it light and fun is the way to go. Good luck, girl! Fingers crossed for you.

[genericname85]

if you're not a touchy feely person by nature, i wouldn't do it. big risk of making it overly awkward and weird.

[DishLady]

It’s called the “touch barrier” because that’s how you break the barrier. You touch. Touch his arm, bump into him a little. Don’t stand too far away so it’s easy for him to touch you… if that’s what you both want. Typically, the touch barrier is crossed somewhere along the first date — the guy opens the door and as the gal passes him he puts his hand on her back in a protective sort of gesture.


If you felt there was no motivation to break the touch barrier on Date 1, and you go on most of Date 2 without touching… perhaps there’s a lack of chemistry.

[Anonymous]

Then be patient, and don't do any touching at all for several dates.

[In_Trance]

Touch each other. Pretty simple