Why do so many people set standards that they themselves are not willing to keep? I’ve seen posts on here from men saying they want virgin women, but yet think it’s fine for men to sleep around. I’ve seen women talk about wanting men who are healthy and fit, yet get offended when men say they want women who aren’t fat.
Both good questions but I think they have different answers.
I think men are programmed by nature to be attracted to virgin women. One possible explanation is that it helps ensure that if she becomes pregnant that the baby is his and it is his DNA that will be passed along to the offspring. I think this is a reason why men are so commonly attracted to virgin women... it is an instinct. There is also an "ownership" and control issue. He wants to "own" her, and taking her virginity is part of that process. It's like marking his territory. It's a natural behavior for men. Women don't experience this.
As to why a woman might say she wants a fit man but be put off by a man saying he doesn't want to be with a fat woman, I think that is more about psychology (which is also a product of nature). Women tend to be more self-conscious about their looks than men, so they take more offense to men who make what they view as disparaging remarks about a woman's looks (such as referring to her as fat).
It’s simple you can’t realistically have higher expectations for the person you want to date then you can have for yourself.
I am well aware of the double standard for promiscuous women. I got mixed feelings about it. For one women always have been the gatekeepers of sex. Most of the time it’s the man who has to make a move and take risks. Up to him to make a move.
Virtually any woman who is at least semi attractive can get laid almost any time she wants (depending on her standards). Not true at all the vast majority of men. Only the top 1% of men can realistically pull that off. And not only do these guys have to be good looking but they have to have “game”. But a weird and/or very introverted yet attractive woman doesn’t have to worry as much about her personality turning a guy off she just wants sex unlike vice versa.
I know because I was considered a good looking yet “weird/introverted” young man back in the day. I got sporadic dates and sex but I always felt like I struggled more compared to other guys. Looks are much shorter head start for men vs. women. So right or wrong a promiscuous man can be viewed as “being in demand”. Like he has something going for him when he’s young (he gets judged more harshly for promiscuity later in life though)
As for being healthy and fit. That comes down science, effort and willpower. Yes genetics play into it to a certain extent. But it’s a much more tangible attribute to manage vs personality/wealth/social status. Anybody can get in good shape if they are truly motivated. But not everybody can become rich as easily or become a celebrity. So it’s hard to have sympathy for obese women who complain about “fat shaming” when they put little or no effort into improving themselves.
Both men and women face double standards in romance and dating. But from what I described above who do you think generally has it tougher when all else is equal?
Okay, let's actually talk about the double standards around body counts.
Women want: A man who can make them orgasm.
Men want: A woman who sees sex as something exclusively between them, has no other experience to compare it to.
Experienced men: Can make them orgasm.
Virgin women: Has no experience to compare it to.
This double standard doesn't come out of nowhere. Yes, it's unfortunate and sexist the way that society responds to body counts. Despite that, men and women are opposites, we look for opposite things. No one wants to sleep with someone who's fucked 10 or more, but women are a lot less picky when it comes to a higher count
Why do some men expect it both ways?
Why do some men expect it both ways?
Opinion
32Opinion
Double standards aren’t good in relationships , usually when double standards arose , that’s usually the end of a relationship unless you both choose to fix what was broken.
u Why is it that you are offended by hypocrisy in other people when you have hypocrisy in yourself? It's part of human nature.
This is what happens when we start teaching people stupid things and lying to people. Keep telling a fat woman she is "a 10 baby slay gurl get those hotties" when she is ugly as fuck. She starts to think she actually can have a super good looking well financed man etc. As for guys unfortunately some crap social media presences have been spewing that being a man whore is "fine" because "men aren't effected the same way as women" which is not remotely true. It just takes longer for those effects to hit men.
I don’t think it’s fine for a man to sleep around because that defies the purpose of the statement, If men sleep around then they are sleeping around with women who aren’t virgins.
I’m a virgin, so I have the basic right to want a virgin woman.
That’s not a double standard. It’s hypocrisy.
A double standard is when you apply two different standards for two otherwise equal individuals or groups, regardless of whether you are a member or not. Usually when a single standard is better or more preferential.
Double standards stem from the fundamental belief that people are not equals and should not be treated equally.
Genuine hypocrisy is some combination of entitlement, laziness and mental illness, like narcissism or codependency. I actually quite enjoy false hypocrisy. When people project wildly exaggerated hypocritical beliefs, more often than not not highlight an actual hypocrisy that needs to be addressed. It’s always hilarious. SNL often nails that sh*t! Ell oh ell!
Why is there a double standard on women only dating tall guys? Why are top tier men the ones that pay the bills? Face it, we are different. Personally I don't want a virgin... Ughhhh... Terrible sex. But again there's double standards all over the place. How many plus size male models are glorified like Lizzo? Why is there no social media posts honoring single dad's etc.
The best part is for women, men are so pathetic they can say the double standard all they want, and a babe will always find a guy. Don't worry ❤️
Because people want their cake and to eat it to. They want a virgin yet they are slut and want a fit person even tho they are fat. It doesn't matter that they are hypocrites cuz they can't own up to their own bad choices like being a slut or being fat.
Because men and women are different, and because people want someone better than themselves, anyway nothing stopping a virgin woman from going for a virgin man.
people set personal standards. i wouldn't categorize all men the same way. i personally didn't want to lose my virginity to a virgin. but i also don't want a slut. which is what my first girlfriend was. i was #33 on her list. and she was 16! so that made me feel like a slut and regretted why i didn't stick with the first girl that was a virgin.
Everyone looks at their own situation with nuance and subtlety that they don't use for other people's situations. They can think of all the excuses in the world to justify why they aren't meeting the standard they hold other people to.
God is a God of justice you know. He wants people with clean heart. thise men who sleep around and wants virgin woman they will gwt what is due for them
yeppers.
I'm thinking that to them it does not include themselves.
I get what you are saying.
I love their reactions when you call them on it.
Always been this way. Always will be. Wrong but a lot of things are and they don’t change.
Life is full of double standards even from the slightest slights to the biggest issues. 🧐🙂👀
Since women and girls broke my heart for 15 years and broke my trust, I’m going to be such an asshole in life now and embrace the double standards. The nice guy days are over, im gonna be a fucking dog and just bang girls with no commitment and toy with women’s emotions purposely. It’s time for me to be selfish.
*takes a bow* for anyone on GAG who reads this and gets mad, oh well 💋
Because if you can obtain the thing you want regardless of if it is hypocritical what does it matter lol.
Some people can’t meet standards in the first place so they want everyone else to. I agree it’s ridiculous.
If you’re not capable of being a well adjusted person then just work on yourself stop making everyone else miserable.
If we could answer that it might solve a lot of problems.. Unfortunately both sides are very hypocritical
My buddy wants a virgin and for her to be fit. But he’s also fit and he’s a virgin.
Very good question and I agree absolute hypocrisy.
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