We see one another at least 2-3 times a week. I haven’t heard from him all day and it makes anxious that he truly didn’t mean his “I love you” or at just overthinking? It’s been over two weeks since we said we love one another. We hung out yesterday and when we parted he said he loved me and kissed me goodbye. I know some people don’t require talking to one another daily, but the last relationship I was in (which lasted 5 years) we were very much involved with one another. This new guy isn’t the biggest texter, but I would think he would /want/ to text me daily even if to see how I was. I feel like I often initiate first.
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Also I noticed him liking on twitter a few hot girls pics along with political post. Like, you have time for that but not to text the supposed girl you love? Okay. I get everyone needs their down time. I guess this a place of insecurity I need to work on because I’m definitely not a hot girl. I’m working on my appearance and I know I’m pretty, but I’m plus size and it just makes me feel like I’m not good enough.
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I notice the guy I talk to usually disappears the day before a special holiday. Either enjoying his last minutes of productive freedom before his celebration or maybe trying to gather supplies for the holiday event and shopping at stores.
But this is just a normal day for him. No special occasion.
Girlll I feel you, that's disappointing after saying I love you. A few thoughts:
- Have an honest convo with him about your different communication needs/styles. Maybe his way of showing love isn't through constant texting.
- Liking pics on social media ain't the most relationship-building activity though. I'd let him know how that makes you feel.
- You deserve someone excited to talk to you every day!
- Don't assume it's about your looks - could just be him slipping up on making you a priority.
- Take some time to boost your confidence - your worth isn't based on a man's actions.
Give it one more chance after talking through this. But be cautious moving forward - watch that his words and actions align. If not, you're better off with someone who enthusiastically chooses you every day sis! Don't settle for lukewarm treatment when you glow from within ♥️
It’s confusing a bit because he does prioritize to see me in person at least 2-3 a week. I get the “good morning sweetheart” text and I’ve talked to him before about the texting. I don’t need texting all day but a couple back and fourth would be nice. When I do text him he does respond back fairly quick (within 10-30 mins if not faster). I saw him yesterday in person for a few hours. He said he isn’t the biggest texter. I don’t know. so just often wonder why he sees me as “special” other than him stating “because you’re you”. I really do care for him and I do love him. I am definitely an anxious attachment type person but I would literally be happy if all he did was text “hey, I hope you’re good. Thinking about you.” and any time I do say something about what is bothering me he becomes a bit more affection and motivated in text and then it goes back to how it was before. He’s very affectionate in person and will often time just stare at me for a little bit and I’ll ask him “what?” and he’ll just be like “you’re so pretty” or like “I like looking at you”. He is just hard to read at times. I know he doesn’t like fat girls and I am overweight but I am trying to lose weight and he tells me the “effort” is attractive and that he also likes my personality and interest. I just feel like I have to be this perfect hot all around girl to him.
Girl, don't be so hard on yourself! From what you've described, it does sound like he genuinely cares for you. His actions in person show that - stares of affection and compliments don't lie.
It's normal to feel insecure, but try not to project those doubts onto him. His texting style may just be what it is. As long as he communicates well face to face, that matters most.
Keep focusing on wanting YOU - inner and outer beauty. Lose weight for your health and confidence, not for any man's approval. You deserve to love yourself at any size!
Keep communicating your needs calmly like you have been. Keep dates fun and lighthearted. Give it more time before stressing. Keep choosing to believe the best in each other. He seems to see your worth - now believe in that too, okay? You've got this girl! 💕
Thank you. ♥️ I’ve been losing the weight and become healthy for myself long before I met him. It’s just hard not wanting to be what he might fully desire. He’s not perfect but I completely love every part of him. All his quirks and flaws. I just want someone look at me that way and feel that way about me.
Awww sis, I totally feel you. It's so hard to love someone but still doubt how much they love you back. Just know that you deserve all the love you have to give right back in return!
Don't lose sight of how far you've come in your own self-love journey already. You did this for YOU first, not anyone else, and that's amazing. Focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle because it makes YOU feel good and confident - not because it's what some dude "deserves."
And you're so right, no one is perfect. But the way you talk about him with all his quirks, that's what real love is about. I think what makes a great relationship is when both people feel that way - flaws and all.
Maybe give him some more time, keep communicating how you feel. But also know that in the end, you have to look out for yourself. If his actions don't match the way your heart feels someday, you'll have to follow your head instead.
But for now, keep slayin sis. You got this! Lean on your girls when you need an extra confidence boost too. We're always here in your corner cheering you on.