Do leagues exist in dating?

Question

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

Yes. Our idealism wants us to think leagues are superficial constructs, but they do exist. Very few people are capable of being able to jump leagues, whether it's mentally, physically, socially or mindset. It would require tremendous effort that most people are not willing to make, and sometimes not able to make.

Perhaps it's not right or fair, but it's real.

Gwendoline · Accepted Answer

Yes. Your league is who you can get. For instance Henry Cavil is out of most girl's league.

MrOracle · Answer

Yes. Absolutely.

And while it's possible to have SOME mobility, you aren't going to be able to go very far from your base level.

Here's what a lot of people don't understand about leagues:

For men, your "league" is the average level of women you can get to have sex with you.

For women, your "league" is the average level of man you can get to COMMIT to you for a serious, exclusive, long-term relationship. We KNOW you can get men from higher leagues to sleep with you, but that doesn't mean anything - it certainly doesn't mean that you are on their level.

If you try to get someone outside your league, you will almost always end in failure (men won't get sex, women won't get commitment). Which means if you are always striking out, you are almost certainly trying to reach above your league, and you are over-valuing your own market value.

It's like a person who makes fries at McDonalds for $36,000/year who wants to buy a $5,000,000 house - when you try to get a loan to buy the house, the banks are going to laugh at you, because you don't come anywhere close to being able to afford that house. If they're nice, they'll steer you to something you CAN afford - but it's not going to be anywhere as big, as nice, or in as desirable a place as the $5M property.

Obviously, there ARE people who can afford a $5M property - those people are in a different financial league. And it's not just one lucky $5M property - they have their choice of $5M properties.

You can improve your looks or your status to some extent - get fit, dress better, and for men (but NOT for women), they can make more money (men don't care about women's money) - and raise your level a bit, but if you are a 5, you'll never be an 8, 9, or 10 no matter what you do. With a lot of work, a 5 can become a 6, and with a crazy amount of work and dedication, SOME 5s can become 7s, but a 2-level increase is quite rare.

Most people don't want to hear this - lots of people grew up being told that they were "special" and treated like they were some version of royalty, but the truth is that almost everyone is close to average. You don't "deserve" anything but what you've earned and what value you can give in return. And this means there will be people who have more than you. Life is not fair.

ShellyB · Answer

On one level there are personal opinions and they are not all the same, one person’s idea of this may be different than somebody else’s. On another level there are common opinions, or at least, what you think are common opinions where it feels like the actual reality to you not just your personal opinion. And then on the last level is the actual reality which is no, there are not leagues as some law of the universe.

Half or maybe a little more than half of the guys I have dated have either said that I was out of their league or their family or friends said that, but I did not think so or I would not have been dating them. In fact my best relationship by far is w a guy who believes I am out of his league and has said it many times, but I feel lucky to be w him.

Summeroflove · Answer

Well leagues exist but they vary form person to person just understand that everyone’s looking for something different so don’t be offended when not everyone wants you as well as the fact that some people aren’t good people who did you a favor rejecting you or leaving you.

There is factors like money, job status, social status, among a multitude of other things but I’ve seen people date up and I mean…. WAYYYY up because they formed a genuine connection with another human being that goes deeper then anything material.

People also change as they get older some people may up their standards some may drop them as they mature and start figuring out who they really want and what matters the most to them. As well as just meeting people after dating the same type of person over and over…. They see the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.

DishLady · Answer

Meh…

Yeah but I sort the leagues differently

Spirituality & Faith/Confidence (in themselves and others)

EQ (humor, resilience etc)

Charisma (interpersonal communication and other social aptitudes)

Education (formal or self-taught)

Tastes & Styles

Physical capacities (outdoorsy/sporty types, mechanical types, etc.)

Sexual/Sensual compatibility

OlderAndWiser · Answer

"Leagues" exist in the mind of those who see them.

hahahmm · Answer

Yes & no. Some people absolutely refuse to date someone they don't consider on their level looks wise. Others don't. So it depends on the individuals. But it's not unusual for a guy who isn't a model to be with a hot woman. Not unusual at all.

I'd guess that if a person has a social circle of people obsessed with appearances they are more likely to believe in leagues that otherwise. I knew a guy who said to me, "do you think my wife is hot?" He was afraid that she didn't look good enough because her face was average. I just said, "do you think she looks good? Don't worry about what other people think. She doesn't look bad." Or something. Pretty sad for a person to be that worried about it when they decided the spouse was good enough to marry.

Altheavas · Answer

Not really, it’s all personal choice, values, personal standards, and who you might perceive to be of your league. Perception can be deceiving, anyone can put on a facade until they get what they want.
My league is formed all around mindset, mental capacity, character, and intelligence.

Zack-Bann · Answer

No they don’t.

Simply because no one is out here enforcing the rules

Saying “stop! you shall not dateth that person!”

Your league is basically what you can get through your own charms and presentation.

That’s why you have odd couples everywhere.
People you’d thing would never date eachother yet they do

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I've never paid all that much attention to "leagues". They do exist but the boundaries are not always clear. Someone might think someone is "out of their league", but they might in fact be a good choice after all. Sharing common interests and common values, as well as a similar sense of ethics, carries more weight than leagues. In my opinion.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Yeah, it's very complicated but leagues do exist.. Like beautiful McDonald's cashier is out of an average looking millionaires league.. But, he might snatch her up.. Depends on the individuals I suppose.

Staximus · Answer

Of course leagues exist in dating unless you're super good looking or super rich

NicholasRedone · Answer

They certainly do - studies even showed it also depends varies if the woman wants long term short term

4ngelic · Answer

would say yea, people usually date & fuck people of similar attractiveness levels

shortster · Answer

Nope, people that talk about leagues are focused on transactional relationships. Dating should be about finding a meaningful relationship; and transactional relationships are the antithesis of meaningful relationships. If you want a meaningful relationship focus on each other's values and not on each other's statuses.

HungTexan · Answer

Definitely they exist, but it’s ok to aim high and maybe even out of your league. You never know.

Uglygaypoorcoward94 · Answer

ofcourse, if you're hot why would you settle for less? Do rich people live economically the poor if they can afford better?

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Of course they do.. tho sometimes rules and boundaries can be over come..  Since you do see people with partners who doesn't suit them at all lol.

Pet68 · Answer

No, of course not. I see unmatched (as in physically, in terms of attractiveness) couples all the time. There was even a song made about it back in the pre-historic 1970's ("Is She Really Going Out With Him?").

Coden7 · Answer

Maybe in middle school. When I got a little older I asked out who I wanted regardless if they were a nerd or an athlete, whatever. It’s all in the mind.

katiesmuff · Answer

Not really it's just the personal choices and things each person is looking for.

exitseven · Answer

Not really. I never paid much attention to it. I have seen really ugly people end up with really hot girlfriends.

Crimsyjo · Answer

I don't even know what you mean by that? Like ratings?

Johnkramer98 · Answer

yes and no YES if we are talking about mere sexual relations NO if we talk about true love (but the minimum should be an average look not lower than average)

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

No but everyone is entitled to have preferences unrealistic as they may be

Brady · Answer

No because I've seen many x that beauty's in the eye of the beholdr.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Maybe, but if they do I must seriously punch above my weight.

Manuelwe · Answer

Most men and women rate their league higher than it is. Or forget the older you get the faster you fall

robocop666 · Answer

Sadly yes whether you like it or not

molonski2 · Answer

Not in my opinion.. No.

Apple1996 · Answer

No they don't

Makeushiver · Answer

None that you don't qualify for

Jennz6 · Answer

Yes maybe

Dongie · Answer

💯%!

Chthou95 · Answer

Yes they do.

zombiewoof · Answer

They do for some

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