You don’t have to offer it to the person. Alcohol on first date could be a bit wrong message to him. It’s almost as similar to whipped cream and lube lol
If that’s what you’re going for then go for it, alcohol and enhance that experience. Possibly. Everyone is different when drunk and with certain alcohols. If he got too drunk it could be a sleep over if an Uber wasn’t ordered either. So would have to be prepared for that.
I think alcohol doesn’t loosen as it does just totally disorient us lol so consider things that lessen anxiety naturally like chamomile tea or essential oils (mist machines). Lavender etc.
Consider burning some energy with a run beforehand as well. Try a cold water rinse also.
These things will keep you sober and less anxious. You could also have something in your pocket to distract you from your energy overload. Chewing some fresh gum could prove helpful with nerves and kissing preparation if you’re for that. Even if not it would still benefit.
Hot tea maybe even with hot cocoa.
Have some positive thoughts written down somewhere private or on phone digital notes. Even if long add some short ones. Can google some and add some you think your future self would appreciate whether it goes exceptionally well or a bit off.
Realize he may be nervous too no matter how experienced he may be cause this is his first time with you also, so you both will be a bit nervous and can share in this experience.
Realize somewhere in the world other guys and girls are doing similar first dates too and may be nervous and you all can share in understanding this experience, and if you all could talk would be able to relate really well to it, and vibe. Knowing that- you know you’re not alone. It’s a humanly thing. It’s a part of the dating process, and you’re a great person. You have great qualities and he wouldn’t agree to meet up with you and DATE you if he didn’t see something about you worth dating and meeting up with. He said yes (or even asked you for it), so that’s half the battle. You scored! The rest will be a much smoother sailing.
Have fun. That’s the most important thing and ofc it will be a learning experience. Take mental notes instead of being driven by emotions and highs and lows. Take notes for YOU for later. You’ll appreciate that, I’m sure.
Well we had alcohol on our first date so it just seemed to make sense to also offer it on this date. I have beer, tequila mix, little bottles of tequila, vodka, and jack Daniel's so he has a lot to choose from. But I will follow your advance to loosen up without alcohol. Thanks.
Thank you! 😊
Take a hot bath after going for a long walk, bike ride or doing an exercise routine. THAT will relax you. If you have anti-anxiety drugs, make sure you've taken your meds for the day.
Alcohol lowers inhibitions and could put you in a compromising position. DO NOT introduce it on a first date at your home.
You are precisely right. It sounds suggestive. As if you have ulterior motives. Sex, mainly.
Unless you know this person well and have been around them while drinking, on several occasions, keep alcohol out of the equation.
I mean it can be, but it also can make people retarded. Smart chicks usually stay sober and get the guy drunk so she can access what he's really like when his cerebral cortex is numbed the fuck out and he's using his lizard brain instead. Full of humor and good cheer, just a horn dog that only wants to get his dick wet, turns into macho man Randy Savage and wants to fight every guy and beat up women? That's one way to find out.
I'm more curious about why you're so nervous. Do you really want to make it work with that guy instead of just vet the hell out of him to see if he's up to snuff? I think you should 'pretend' to drink, but see what he's like. He's either going to end up being annoying af to you or he'll be the most fun you ever had without having to drink a bunch to find it yourself.
Basically don't try to make it happen with him, see if he makes it happen. Otherwise you're just probably going to end up loosening up for a 'might-be' _______.
Fill in the blank and hope it's not fuckboy or player again.
@Simslover92 really read this opinion TWICE lol consider it cause that was spot on. I wanted to add something like it to mine, but he said it a lot better and more summarized well. From start to finish it made sense. Please consider it, and wishing you a really nice time.
The goal is to set up a chill and fun environment. I want him to loosen up so that we can have a good time. I'm nervous because that's just my personality. I'm always anxious with new experiences especially social ones. But I definitely see what you are saying and won't drink a lot if hardly at all. Just enough to feel comfortable.
It does have a bit of a suggestive element to it. But not really. It's totally normal to offer him a drink. I think its fine to drink some on your date. I don't think it's fine to feel like you need to otherwise you won't be able to make it through due to nerves.
Drinking some, can definitely help you relax... depending. You know what I mean. Sometimes drinks will make you loosen up, in some other situations... not so much.
You just don't want to drink too much (easy to do if you're using it to calm your nerves).
You won't be happy with yourself if you drink more than you want to, and were less-than your best on that date (even if you weren't hammered).
It depends. It's a very normal thing to do. Just be careful how much you drink.
Ok. I won't drink too much. Just a couple of shots to loosen up perhaps.
No. Wine. Do not do shots on your date. That is a bad idea
Shots are suggestive of "let's let loose" to me they are way more suggestive (in that they show you're in 'party mode').
Wine is just normal and acceptable and therefore not suggestive. It's a normal date thing. Shots are not.
(also... I think this goes without saying, but I'm saying it anyway... no drinking before hand to losten up. You need to be stone sober when he arrives, then drink together. Again... I know I didn't need to say that. Just in case)
I don't have wine. I have beer though and will offer that up first then instead of shots. And yes thanks I know to be sober when he arrives. That's a bad look to be drinking beforehand.
@simslover92I have said that in the past too and wound up drunk. No one wants a drunk, except maybe another drunk. 🍺🥂
Beer is just as good as wine. It's maybe even better. Who doesn't like a girl who drinks beer. Beer is perfect.
I really did know that I didn't need to tell you not to drink before hand. Please don't take it as me thinking you're an idiot. I definitely don't. I've just seen a handful of super nervous girls make that mistake, simply because of how nervous they were. But as you say, it's not smart.
Opinion
33Opinion
Yes alcohol can be a good ice breaker. It can also be suggestive depending on how you offer it (body language and tone of voice). But honestly, I don't think there's any harm in offering and feeling the person out after.
Plus people tend to be more honest with who they are what their intentions are when they're tipsy/drunk.
"In Vino Veritas."
Yes alcohol can make you feel remote relaxed just don’t go overboard with it , have a glass or 2 then cut yourself off , depending on your tolerance, you don’t want to be a sloppy drunk lol
ONE drink is ok. Too much and you risk being a sloppy drunk, making a bad impression or doing something you'll regret (or can't remember).
The titanic was a good ice breaker
Bravo on that one bro, great answer.
Ok I will! Thanks!
Well, alcohol, being served at room temperature, does cause ice to melt...
u Alcohol is generally used to lower inhibitions.
If you and they are in your twenties or thirties then no. Younger men tend to see alcohol offerings exactly as you describe them, an icebreaker for social anxiety. Too often, they are still treating it as a night-life party accessory. By the time we hit our mid to late thirties we are exposed to it in more and different context, we can, hopefully, control it, and are more likely to view alcohol as a social offering without strings. I would personally be a bit concerned with a gal who has a fully stocked bar unless she is exceptionally social and often hosts gatherings. I have breifly dated a few alcoholics or women with strong reliances. Not good. As well, some people are picky about brands and types be it beer or hard liquor with a specific mixer, they may not like wine, or they may not drink anymore. Save it for a second or third home-date, have it with some snacks or the meal. Instead of alcohol, rely on conversation... really! Inform him you are a bit anxious as this imparts honest and open dialogue. This is the ice-breaker. Tell him as much, then let him know you need him to help with dead-air or to cut you off if you are talking too much.
I have a roommate who drinks too which I will explain. We both have different people over so therefore the stock of drinks. I will I guess let him know I'm a little anxious and hope that gets things moving along. Thanks.
Drinking away your anxiety is a babe aid solution. It’s honestly pretty effective in the short term, but at the end of the day you need to address the root cause of your anxiety. There’s nothing wrong with offering alcohol on a date, but be prepared for the possibility that your date will decline. If you’re really that worried about it, you can even ask ahead of time how this person feels about alcohol and mention that you are considering serving some. And definitely don’t plan to drink away your nerves. If you nurse a drink throughout dinner to help relax that’s one thing, but getting intoxicated on a date is a bad look at best. Best of luck!
m personally... I don't like an alcohol-depending mood or personality...
alcohol should not be the solution to alcohol either...
maybe others are into that, but I don't find it attractive myself
I'm not a heavy alcohol person anymore. I was in college but I really would like to do this date sober but find myself going back to my 20 year old self (which turned to alcohol in cases of nervous social situations) because he's honestly the first guy I've dated that wasn't my ex. And it was easy to date my ex because we met in college and were friends first. So this is kind of new territory for me to date a guy I barely know. I find it easier to introduce alcohol into the mix to see if he'll loosen up a bit with me as well as I him. But I totally get what you're saying. It may be off-putting and I may not introduce it. I don't know. I just thought it may be customary to offer if you have it. A beer is harmless and seems natural to offer up.
well, yeah... to have some drinks is absolutely normal, and valid, yes...
but it should be for fun... and not so much of a coping mechanism, but I know it is not easy, so... best of luck with it, I hope it went well
To some alcohol could be a icebreaker however it can also be a dealbreaker. As for you be yourself, be your comfortable self & most of all be your confident self. As for dating it’s only dating & as for a date don’t look at it as a date look at it in a simpler way & look at it as two people simply getting to know each other.
You got this…
Thanks!
If I learn that she has drank alcohol even once in her entire life, I lose all interest in her.
So in my opinion no, its never a good icebreaker.
Also if the person doesn't put you at ease while being around them, its the wrong person. Needing to drug yourself just to be around them, is a sign you need to bail.
I got over it quickly. I realized I didn't really need it.
He's easy to talk to
I was nervous for nothing
👍👍
not really... it's better to experience everything without enhancements... alcohol can make you too relaxed... so you can say "things" you normally wouldn't...
We didn't drink that much. Just 9% alcoholic drinks. We were pretty sober. So everything we said was pretty tame and normal.
any amount of alcohol changes the chemistry of brain... so what you think is "normal" is not normal at all :D
Oh ok. Well it seemed quite normal. We didn't ask each other crazy questions or did anything that would be out of the ordinary. But I understand what you are saying.
You are nervous because you are dating a guy out of your league. Such guys will f**k you, but they will not marry you. If he is at your place, offering a beer or a glass of wine is customary and is not suggestive.
That's not true. My ex was in my league or really less and I was still nervous balls all the time around him lol it doesn't matter. That's just my personality.
Personally I’d have it on hand and offer it amongst other drinks you have or could make rather than it be the focus. You could easily have a shot of something to calm your nerves beforehand for “medicinal purposes” 😜🍹
I agree it could be considered suggestive and in my mind sets a tone. If your having a drink he almost certainly will and one leads to more etc etc
The nervous energy is good in dating though for at least it’s “honest”
Whatever you do, never drink before a date. If the guy smells alcohol on your breath he might think you are a lush and then you won't see him again... of course, unless he is one too. Then you two can toast each other to your good health and have some fun. Also, we know alcohol decreases our inhibitions, and we might do things we may regret. Maybe you had better rethink that idea. 🍷🍸🍺🍻🥃 But, it's just a thought.
Well , I'm trying to give it up completely..
But , having said that , I don't think I have ever been on a house date without it , unless maybe when I was 16 or something , so I'd say go for it , although remember its not actually changing anything.. really.
Depends on what your objective is. Alcohol is well known for its ability to convince people to do things they likely would not have if sober. Liquid courage it what it was called in my later teenage years of the 90's. So, my opinion is alcohol can be a very good Icebreaker if your nervous, worried, or shy. Guaranteed as long as you don't hate it, it'll definitely help ease your way into conversation making you feel, sort of loose and a false sense of what things mean because alcohol impaired individuals talking with others who are impaired doesn't always work out.
I think that alcohol only supports you when you like it in general.
Used as a ''tool'', this may backfire - your expectations in it's ''magic'' may not be met.
Work on your 'anxieties' instead - create an atmosphere where you feel ''safe''. And all will be well.
No.. it lowers inhibitions and you don't really seem to be the type to say no properly.. so if you don't want it to be a one night stand, I don't recommend it..
Alcohol, no.
Confidence and self-belief, maybe.
It really depends on how close you are to the person. If you already know each other then you don't need alcohol.
If you don't know each other? You'll do anything to get to know that person.
Unless, of course, she also drinks alcohol then forget what I said.
Just be yourself and don't be somebody else.
@Simslover92 Were I you, I would not suggest it on a first date, maybe too leading or suggestive as you mentioned.
It's the second date.
Yes but no more than a glass of it. You want t be relaxed, not tipsy or drunk. That's how you get raped. Plus with one glass if you start feeling weird or tired, you know you've been drugged.
It can loosen a person up. Just don't get hammered on it.
Yeah why not! Just don’t smoke weed if you’re not ready to hook up
Yeah I don't smoke weed. I do edibles every now and then but I didn't get any because it does make me horny lol
I don't think offering one drink is suggestive.
Ok thanks!
it can also be a crutch addicting Don’t depend on that it can take you down you don’t have to break the ice every time with alcohol
That's true thanks.
Go for a coffee or a walk. Drinking in your own home will only result in casual
To much of it can kill the livers, it can shrink the liver like when you pores an acid in someone body that’s how alcohol is when passing throw and landed in liver before it splash out
Yeah, but depends how much and how it makes you act. You want to have sex, right?
No I don't.
Then you shouldn’t, because that’s what will happen, and what he’ll think you want. Honestly, you shouldn’t have a “house” date with him if that’s not what you’re expecting, because it certainly is what he will be
Drugs bad idea unless its who you are… use other methods
I think that the alcohol makes you commit errors with your girl and something is broken then. Your face or your balls or the good impression and opinion the girl had about you before the date
It can be a great icebreaker but no more than two drinks for each of you
People call alcohol "social Iubricant" for a reason!
No if you are nervous maybe the solution is to have a different kind of date, where the setting helps you extrovert and enjoy. Don't look at it so much as a date, but more like a fun time with someone you like.
It depends on how you want this to turn out.
Worry about you and have a shot or two before he shows up
I think alcohol is socially acceptable where I live. Keep it simple and safe...
I don't think so, but I never drink it, and I'm not good at breaking the ice :P
Do not bring some guy back to your house that you just met especially if you've been drinking, don't be a fucking dumbass
Yeh sure can a real good drink is Coffee Brandy &Milk, about a shot with of brandy rest milk after couple glasses feeling kinda buzzed
sure a lot of people drink exactly FOR that reason
How much alcohol do you consume to make you relax?
A few shots of tequila
That'll be fine :)
I don’t drink alcohol
A drink at home is a bit suggestive.
just offer some wine
Yes.
Only if you set it on fire to melt the ice.
nooo
You can also add your opinion below!
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions