Breaks between relationships or no breaks between relationships?

[Temporary46]

How do I state this?

There are people who don't take breaks between relationships, they hop from one person to the next with no break in between.

They don't end the first until they find the second person.

There are people who will spend time being out of a relationship...they end the first one before they find the second person.

Anybody have any general thoughts about this?

Is one way better or worse and why?

I feel like I trust people more when they end it with the first person before they look for the second person.

Does it matter to you or not if somebody is already involved when they start to date you?

[independent14]

To be honest I have been going through this situation. I just got out of a long relationship almost 3 months ago...however I've been talking to this guy while me and my now ex were on a break. I developed a connection with the guy I was talking to and went out with him on a few dates (my now ex knew that I wanted to date other people while we were on break). I ended up ending the relationship with my boyfriend however the new guy I was interested in was extremely hesitant about getting involved with me and said that he didn't want to be my rebound. Most people think that you need to take some time after a relationship to be on your own and that you shouldn't just jump to another person. I agree with this because although you may feel like you are OK and are over the relationship there still may be some lingering things that you need to deal with on your own.

When I started talking to the other guy right after I broke up with my boyfriend, I got really clingy because I felt like I needed him and didn't really want to be alone. Just be patient and wait. If that person is meant for you then you will be with them regardless of how much time has passed. I know its hard when you really like someone but its really for the best. I am still casually dating people right now, but I always let them know my situation.

[Temporary46]

Great perspective. Thank you.

[vmw2008]

Except in the rare circumstance that you meet your soul mate while in a relationship with someone else, and make the relationship jump once, I think option one is the worst way of going about things. It's not only unfair to the person you're dating and the person you're about to date, but it's unfair to yourself too. Those people have a big neon sign on their foreheads screaming, "I'm insecure and terrified of being alone." Who could possibly trust them anyway? It's safe to say if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. That goes for both physical and emotional cheating.

[Temporary46]

...right physical and emotional cheating...well good point. Thank you!

[martyfellow]

Totally agree...Pretty obvious, no?

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

There are different types of people. Some people prefer to always be in a relationship do to their fear of being alone, or perhaps for emotional or financial support, for example. I think people that hop from person to person without taking a break are people that are looking to replace a void as opposed to genuinely trying to select the right person for companionship. I Personally would prefer a person to be single for a considerable length to self reflect and allow their feelings for the ex to truly dissipate. I think in most circumstances, dating someone right after a break up is likely an emotional decision that's made to rebound.

I wouldn't take a girl seriously that left her boyfriend to be with me. Who's to say she doesn't have a history of doing this to guys, and who's to say It wouldn't happen to me?

[Temporary46]

Feedback appreciated! Yep, there are different types of people.

Mmmm, that is how I feel, that I can't take him seriously. That is what my rational mind says...my non rational side is saying other things... :)

Thanks again.

[martyfellow]

I've also noticed most people are one or the other; some are too insecure to leave one person until they've already started with another. Naturally this means they're always cheating to some extent. No wonder they are so insecure! Always looking over their shoulders.

It's healthier, clearly to give yourself time to think before starting another intense relationship. And also safer!

[Temporary46]

Thank you for responding. I'm new to the site.

I always have time between relationships and can't relate to people that have no time between. I'm noticing that it's very common though this friends with benefits stuff...makes things more complicated.

A guy has been flirting hard with me every time I see him around town...but he has something going on with a woman...I don't know if I should JUDGE him for it or not. I tend to be judgmental.

If not for her I'd be on him like kids on candy

[martyfellow]

Yeah, go ahead and judge him for it. We're way too easy on people in our modern culture. Anything goes esp if you have a lot of money..

[Temporary46]

Well, I don't have a lot of money and from the looks at it he doesn't have a bunch on his end.

I'm just attracted and then bumped into him over and over..

You are probably right...I wish you were not but you probably are! Sigh

[martyfellow]

Sounds fine but still, he's not to be trusted as you no doubt already know!