Exclusive friends with benefits?

Has anyone had this kind of relationship?

I've been seeing this guy for about 2 mos, I met him on a dating site.

we both still active on the site, but we both were not dating anybody else.. I know he's not on a date w anybody because he always texts/calls in the evening and night when we not see each other.

I thought we are just naturally leading this to exclusive relationship, but then he says we are friends and we are not dating.

we do other stuffs together too but mostly it's based on sex.

so one day I told him that I will be on a date, and he went crazy asking all the questions about my date and he doesn't understand why I'm going on a date while I'm seeing him and we have good sex. He is very jealous guy, if I don't answer his phone, he goes nuts keeps calling, even to my sister to make sure if I'm okay, and to check if I'm with other guys.

I don't understand him, if he asks me to be his girlfriend, I'm willing to, and if not, I'm still okay with this relationship we're having, yet if he doesn't want a relationship, I want to date other guys.

it's not that he is not going on a date with other girls, but he said we might start dating but before that we should just enjoy have fun what we are in now. then again, for example, If he knows that I'm hanging out or seeing other guy on this Sunday, he would try to make a schedule with me on Sunday so he can block him away from me.

I thought friends with benefits are two people having sex and stay clear about each others' dating life..

I mean, either him or anyother guy, I want a relationship eventually with someone. I'm more like a stay w one guy, relationship girl. but he seems like he doesn't want relationship w me obviously, but he's not looking for someone else either. so what is it? are we just kinda in a denial relationship? or he doesn't want any relationship now?

If I ask him, he's just saying he's not seeing anyone else now and he's busy with doing his stuffs and all his exes gave him dramas headaches...


Most Helpful Girl

  • You two aren't on the same page.

    He'd told you that he doesn't want to DATE YOU, but he doesn't want YOU WITH OTHER GUYS either. He's just possessive of you, he isn't interested in you.

    He's been very CLEAR about his intentions. So you can make a few dissensions in this situation.

    1.) accept the terms an only have sex with him, And UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE STILL SINGLE.

    2.) Ignore his complaints. Keep having sex with him, while you date other guys, until you eventually get a relationship that you want.

    3.) Tell him this arrangement isn't going to work for you. End things, and start dating other guys.

    4.) Give him an ultimatum tell him that You want to be his girlfriend, or you can't keep having sex with him if he's going to be so possessive.

    5.) STOP telling him about your dates, and keep him in the dark. Have sex with him, but don't tell him about your personal or dating life.

    6.) Tell him your intentions and what you thought you were just FWB and that the agreement was that you could still see other people. From there, go over your agreement with him and see if what he wants and what he is willing to do works for you.

    Good luck girl! .


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You are being used. He doesn't want to call it a relationship because when he finds someone he actually does want to be in a relationship with he'll walk away without much more than a goodbye. He's jealous because he can's stand the though that you won't devote yourself to him, he thinks of himself as something special and when you don't treat him that way it bothers the hell out of him.

    You sound like a nice girl, you don't need to put up with this kind of treatment. Brush this idiot off and find a guy that wants to go to the movies with you or out to dinner. You deserve more, go out there and get it.

  • Looks like he doesn't believe you're in a FWB relationship.


What Girls Said 2

  • He's trying to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to have sex with you, and he wants you to be exclusive with him, but he doesn't want to be a real boyfriend or commit to the other things that a relationship entails.

    He can get mad all he wants, but he created this scenario so he has to live with the consequences of that. If he doesn't want you dating other guys, he has to commit to you, simple as that. Don't let him feed you B.S. or let his jealousy intimidate you. You're doing nothing wrong. Simply tell him that you're looking for a committed relationship and will continue dating until you find one. End of story. He's being selfish.

  • GIRL I have been in the exact same situation and my advice to you is RUN! We were "exclusive" FWB for over a year until one weekend when I went outta town and he slept w someone else and dumped me by text and never spoke to me again. There are so many other guys out there that are gonna want to give you what you want. Don't settle for less then you deserve. Guys like this are just users.