How can I stop being rude at work? My coworker opened up to me about last time happened?

[Anonymous]

How can I stop being rude? At work they say I dont use po and opo thats how we show respect in philippines. I work at hospital and Im in information desk as a admin assistant and I assist people to write information of watchers and patients. I have social anxiety and last time the old lady I asked if she can still write because she's 60 something usually I assist old people and people with poor eyesight to write a form and she said she was offended by my question I didn't meant to say it rudely I was just concern about her.. for me to help her write the form if she can't see it. Im just sad because all my coworkers knows it now. All I know is we are all 4 duties there. Myabe my coworker who were duty that time told another coworker. They think Im rude now I remember I still apologized to that old lady and she said its okay to me. Then my coworker opened up to me about that situation. Like I wonder how did she found out. I really dont know. All I know is that I apologized to that old lady and I didn't mean asking her that question to insult her my coworker opened up to me about it and she said I should use better choice of words when speaking to people. But sometimes I can see why they see Im rude I dont use po and opo like we always should in our country to respect people regardless of age. I also remember calling Sir the man who wore lady dress and my coworker corrected me" I should call her maam to show respect " now I feel bad of myself I like working but because of that gossip I kinda losing interest of working there now. Even small mistakes will spread in our office and I wonder who always tell it. Maybe they just concern? Who knows? there's only one person who opened up to me about how I rudely treated visitors/people and I feel really bad and disappointed sad because they might fire me if they didn't like me at my job.

Updates

16 d

Maybe its my tone?

Updates

16 d

I really dont know too why my coworkers tell me to my other coworkers are they concern? Or do they want me to be out there? Im still new at my job and makes me feel bad about myself

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, don't be so hard on yourself okay? It sounds like you're still learning the cultural norms and it takes time. A few tips:

- Practice using "po" and "opo" with coworkers to get used to it. Say it every chance even if nerves make it hard at first. Faking it til you make it works!

- When talking to patients/visitors, speak slowly and smile. Your tone can come off gentler even if words are same. Deep breaths help calm nerves too.

- It's okay to admit if eyesight is blurry etc - say something like "I'm sorry, just want to make sure I have all the info correct for your file. May you please double check?"

- Ask a trusted coworker if you can roleplay scenarios together so you get feedback. Doing mock interactions can prepare you better than real surprises.

- Don't stress too much what others say - focus on always apologizing sincerely if you misstep, and learning from mistakes. In time they'll see you're trying.

- And girl, if those coworkers spread stuff just to be mean, try not to let it get to you okay? You got this! Keep your head up.

With practice it'll come naturally. Just be kind to yourself as you adjust - you'll get the hang of it for sure.

[Asker]

Im stressed because it might cause me my job. I just want to stay longer to save money by the way Oli can you answer my another question? Why is my coworker constantly asking everything I do? Is she micromanaging me? ↗

[Asker]

Hey Oli sorry if I asked and so many links its just for you to understand its all connected to my job. Again sorry if my question is too long Im just so stressed that I can't even sleep properly thinking everything when I get home cuz Nika doesn't trust me. Its just I feel bad and I feel like Im the worst employee there that always needs supervise and Im thinking of quitting because of that constantly micromanaging its giving me anxiety

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw girl, don't think like that! It's totally normal to feel stressed when you're new at a job, especially one with customer service pressure. But it seems like your coworkers' intentions are good - they want you to succeed!

Rather than dwell on the past mistakes, focus on constantly improving each day. When you slip up, own it humbly and ask for feedback to do better. People respect growth.

As for Nika micromanaging, try chatting with her one-on-one to get context. She may just be protective if visitors complain a lot. Assure her you're open to guidance.

Don't quit - you have so much potential! Just be confident that with experience, the little errors won't matter. And if stress gets bad, you can always look for another area that's less demanding.

Stay positive okay? You got this! We all start somewhere. Let me know if an encouraging coffee break would help boost your mood too. You've got this sis!

[Oliverlogan263]

Sure I can answer that, it’ll take to answer. I checked it out and has some long notes to really analyze and read through carefully

[Asker]

Hey Oli sorry please answer this too Any lawyer here who wants to help me? Anyone can give me advice? ↗

[Oliverlogan263]

Hi and okay I’ll get to it luv

[Asker]

Thanks Oli you're awesome. :)

[Oliverlogan263]

Awwww thank you , you’re amazing ☺️

[MountainMetal]

You're fine, you aren't harassing anyone or being cruel and they probably forget about it the next day. Just focus on improving and don't overthink small stuff that everyone does