You've confused 'strict' with abusive. We had rules in our house, there was even some yelling from time to time. But all three were allowed, encouraged, to think for themselves, and understand the ramifications for their actions. They all turned out great - successful, socially adept, appreciative, and respectful. Parents today want to be a coach or a friend, and not parent. Or they're simply not engaged. And the kids suffer for it.
@BaileyisDarcy - ah, it's all words, and the degree. Why not just call it abuse then? An abusive parent? Nothing wrong with 'strict'. But you're trying to make it something it's not.
like seriously, there is lots of yelling and grounding in my house. I just turned 13, I'm scared what it will be like when I'm older and want to bring a boy home.
I hope they get lenient, only child so a little overprotective. My bestie has older siblings and they don’t care too much anymore. She gets away with so much.
My mom was raised in this type of negative environment. It is why she is such a great mother. She learned how not to raise her child because of her parents.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
My parents were strict as hell when I was growing up. I had zero freedom of anything. I was basically a puppet
Anyways, this is true. When I moved out for university, I had no idea how to really deal with everyday things. While the freedom I had felt great, the basics everybody needs to live on their own I lacked
I wouldn’t so much say it handicaps children as much as it blinds them of reality
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
ya i grew up in this kind of abuse, my dad had this idea that he owned me, he beet on me every other day and treated my sisters like royalty, i wound up putting him through a kitchen table, he died from lung cancer a few years back, i didn't even go to his funeral, and now im stuck dealing with my mom and sisters, mom still thinks she can tell me what to do like im a kid considering i stayed just to help them out, here in about 10 months im going to take off to l. A, planning to change my full legal name and say fuck this family.
1
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
My mother was extremely strict. I wasn't even allowed to decide how I wanted to wear my hair. The thing is, if kids aren't allowed to make decisions on their own, how are they to learn how to make good decisions. I would want my child to be able to make good decisions without me there, rather than me deciding for them.
People associate strict with other aspects that are just wrong. Strict is good. If you tell your kid not one minute past 7pm be home and they come home at 7:05pm strict is saying hey you're punished because you didn't follow the rule. Teach them to be on time is 5 minutes early not 5 minutes late. Now if you say aww honey its just 5 minutes you bend the rules and thats a terrible example. Being overbearing and untrusting is not strict. Its being overbearing and untrusting.
I don't like the use of the word strict when the research has typically used authoritarian to describe these practices. You can be strict and authoritative. You can work with you kids to set rules and goals as a team and strictly remind them to live to to the goals you set together. Otherwise, yeah, it looks like you are describing authoritarian parenting and there is a mountain of research to back you up on each claim!
100% agree. I had divorced parents, dad waawaams strict and my mom was easy going, she felt sorry for when I'd tell her how my strict my father was.
I had nightmares about being shamed years after cutting off contact with my dad. Leaving him the dust gave me the biggest sense of relief I have ever felt.
Damn that is so right what can I do about that now. Some advices here I don't agree with 1, 2 and 4 Even though I lie once in a while I didn't master sneaking around 2 When I am at a party, trip or something I feel still restricted 4 My hate turn me into my enemy instead of bullying others I am bullying myself
I feel like it's a vicious cycle. Behavior, Character and Attitudes are all caught and not "taught" therefore is our parents treated us that way, yes we will treat our kids and others that way. It is hard to break that cycle...
Strict is usually good. Excessively strict parenting can be damaging, but I have seen far more messed up people come from a lack of parenting. In the end though, it's all case specific. Some kids need strict. Some kids thrive on their own.
1
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Some of his is true some of the time for some people, and not for others. Saying strict parents cause their children to be more troubling is just false. Every child is different and responds to different parenting styles. Some kids will benefit immensely from strict parenting; others not so much.
A smart parent will understand what each individual child needs and act accordingly. A not-so-smart parent will listen when someone tells them one way is right or wrong for all kids.
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1 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
And by the way, strict parenting does not mean harsh parenting. The first photo in your MyTake is not an example of strict parenting.
I had extremely strict parents and I didn't go through any of this. Actually it made me Disciplined and determined to focus on my dreams and goals. I don't agree with this at all.
There is a difference between helicopter parents and strict parents. Strict parents have expectations about behavior and responsibility. Helicopter parents assume all of the responsibility themselves. Strict parents remind their kids to apply for internships. Helicopter parents fill out the applications for internships themselves.
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There is no uniform strict parenting style because parents are often strict about different things rather than in all aspects.
I think this is more authoritative parenting v. s. authoritarian, but my guess is that relatively few parents fit completely into one of those labels.
You've confused 'strict' with abusive.
We had rules in our house, there was even some yelling from time to time. But all three were allowed, encouraged, to think for themselves, and understand the ramifications for their actions.
They all turned out great - successful, socially adept, appreciative, and respectful.
Parents today want to be a coach or a friend, and not parent. Or they're simply not engaged. And the kids suffer for it.
you're talking firm parenting. Strict is borderline abusive but its not quite crossing the line.
@BaileyisDarcy exactly
@BaileyisDarcy - ah, it's all words, and the degree. Why not just call it abuse then? An abusive parent? Nothing wrong with 'strict'. But you're trying to make it something it's not.
Because strict is shit and all it does is handicap the kid.
@BaileyisDarcy - Sure. Handicap. Seems everything is extreme for you.
We're done here. Enjoy your time on GAG.
Wait, it's not even your thread/question! WTF
You must be completely dense. [shrug]
I will print this and give a copy yo my parents... if no one hears from me in an hour, send out the search party... lol
lol i get you
like seriously, there is lots of yelling and grounding in my house.
I just turned 13, I'm scared what it will be like when I'm older and want to bring a boy home.
they might get more lenient because you're older and more mature and independent. Also if nothing works out, just lie and sneak around lmao
I hope they get lenient, only child so a little overprotective.
My bestie has older siblings and they don’t care too much anymore. She gets away with so much.
My mom was raised in this type of negative environment. It is why she is such a great mother. She learned how not to raise her child because of her parents.
My parents were strict as hell when I was growing up. I had zero freedom of anything. I was basically a puppet
Anyways, this is true. When I moved out for university, I had no idea how to really deal with everyday things. While the freedom I had felt great, the basics everybody needs to live on their own I lacked
I wouldn’t so much say it handicaps children as much as it blinds them of reality
ya i grew up in this kind of abuse, my dad had this idea that he owned me, he beet on me every other day and treated my sisters like royalty, i wound up putting him through a kitchen table, he died from lung cancer a few years back, i didn't even go to his funeral, and now im stuck dealing with my mom and sisters, mom still thinks she can tell me what to do like im a kid considering i stayed just to help them out, here in about 10 months im going to take off to l. A, planning to change my full legal name and say fuck this family.
My mother was extremely strict. I wasn't even allowed to decide how I wanted to wear my hair. The thing is, if kids aren't allowed to make decisions on their own, how are they to learn how to make good decisions. I would want my child to be able to make good decisions without me there, rather than me deciding for them.
Maybe parents should attend classes about parenting, your take is an example of the reason, thank you for writing it ✌️
People associate strict with other aspects that are just wrong. Strict is good. If you tell your kid not one minute past 7pm be home and they come home at 7:05pm strict is saying hey you're punished because you didn't follow the rule. Teach them to be on time is 5 minutes early not 5 minutes late. Now if you say aww honey its just 5 minutes you bend the rules and thats a terrible example. Being overbearing and untrusting is not strict. Its being overbearing and untrusting.
I don't like the use of the word strict when the research has typically used authoritarian to describe these practices. You can be strict and authoritative. You can work with you kids to set rules and goals as a team and strictly remind them to live to to the goals you set together. Otherwise, yeah, it looks like you are describing authoritarian parenting and there is a mountain of research to back you up on each claim!
100% agree. I had divorced parents, dad waawaams strict and my mom was easy going, she felt sorry for when I'd tell her how my strict my father was.
I had nightmares about being shamed years after cutting off contact with my dad. Leaving him the dust gave me the biggest sense of relief I have ever felt.
Fuck the "tiger mom" style of parenting.
Strict parenting handicaps children. Lenient parenting also handicaps children.
Damn that is so right what can I do about that now. Some advices here
I don't agree with 1, 2 and 4
Even though I lie once in a while I didn't master sneaking around
2 When I am at a party, trip or something I feel still restricted
4 My hate turn me into my enemy instead of bullying others I am bullying myself
I feel like it's a vicious cycle. Behavior, Character and Attitudes are all caught and not "taught" therefore is our parents treated us that way, yes we will treat our kids and others that way. It is hard to break that cycle...
My friend had strict parents. she’s now a druggie, a rebel and she steals from people...
I know other people who had strict parents as well and they tend to rebel sooner or later
Strict is usually good. Excessively strict parenting can be damaging, but I have seen far more messed up people come from a lack of parenting. In the end though, it's all case specific. Some kids need strict. Some kids thrive on their own.
Some of his is true some of the time for some people, and not for others. Saying strict parents cause their children to be more troubling is just false. Every child is different and responds to different parenting styles. Some kids will benefit immensely from strict parenting; others not so much.
A smart parent will understand what each individual child needs and act accordingly. A not-so-smart parent will listen when someone tells them one way is right or wrong for all kids.
And by the way, strict parenting does not mean harsh parenting. The first photo in your MyTake is not an example of strict parenting.
I had extremely strict parents and I didn't go through any of this. Actually it made me Disciplined and determined to focus on my dreams and goals. I don't agree with this at all.
There is a difference between helicopter parents and strict parents. Strict parents have expectations about behavior and responsibility. Helicopter parents assume all of the responsibility themselves. Strict parents remind their kids to apply for internships. Helicopter parents fill out the applications for internships themselves.
I think there needs to be a "happy medium" for parenting as with most (if not everything) else.