So let's say you reach a stage in a friendship where you become really close and feel comfortable about sharing personal secrets or struggles about yourself to them. After you finally go and share something personal about yourself, how would you wish they would respond right after? Are there ways they could act that would upset you?
After all, these moments can sometimes really strengthen a friendship or really stagnate things if the friend behaves unfavorably. Two dudes having a dude conversation
If you open up to a friend and share something really personal with them, how would you want them to respond?
With unfiltered honesty. That is how I met my friends and that is how I ended up with good people who wants me around in their life. That is how I met people who valued my opinions, insights from God, and advice, who are not going to get too upset about what's judgmental and was not. Because a lot of people that they had encountered, and we're friends with I like everyday people I'm sitting won't judge you, but then they judge you, and still don't care about you. I care about people enough to tell me the truth. And I tell them I can tell anybody else. If they cannot handle it then don't get me involved in something that you can't handle or ask me for advice cuz I may not be the right person for you. A real friend would make an investment in your life. Fake friends will tell you all that stuff, that they don't even follow for themselves because they want to use you and oftentimes are jealous of you. I had such big friends like that in my life growing up. And I had learned the hard way about choosing my friends wisely instead of trying to people please others. So I say it like this for people to really think about when they choose their friends. Do you want somebody to tell you the truth, or do you want somebody to tell you a lie question mark you decide that because it's going to determine what kind of life you're living any type of people you're going to attract.
I don't expect them to respond with advice or anything, all I want is for them to listen, be non-judgmental, and to let me open up at my own pace. As in, I don't want to be bombarded by questions as to all the reasons why I did or didn't do a certain thing, or be expected to give out all the deep details, just let me say what I'm comfortable with and leave it at that.
The worst way a person could respond is by being judgmental in my opinion. If someone's opening up to you about something that personal, that's taking a fair bit of courage and you being judgmental will likely cause them to fear opening up to others in the future.
Hmm, I'll have to take that into consideration. So would you want the hypothetical friend to empathize or say "I understand" or something of sorts? Or would you rather they just listened until you were done and said something like "Thank you for being willing to share that with me. It means a lot that you trust me with that." ?
I think a little mix of both. Wait until I'm done, then something like "I understand. I'm glad you feel like you can share this kind of stuff with me." would be a fine reply.
I'd just want them to listen and try to understand, if they've been through similar situations then they could tell me about them and try to relate. I wouldn't want or expect them to try give advice or anything like that. What could disappoint me would be if they tried to make a joke out of what I've told them about or if they show any judgement or something like that. So I'd pretty much just want them to know and understand to the best of their capabilities about my life struggles and my life story and the way they respond to it would tell me how strong my connection with them would be going forward.
Whether he/she respond to me doesn't count. What's more important is whether he/she understand your feeling behind the personal things and know it's a sign that the friendship stepped into a higher and more intimate level. Also this may be expressed by words but other behaviors are OK too.
For example, some sensitive friends may avoid get too close to someone who you complain about in personal conversation. Or some of your friends will leave you some anonymous motivating messages if you tell them you are experiencing a hard time when you feel stressful about your study, work or relationship. And others like send you some sweet little gift without telling you. Of course, some cheerful may tell you what they feel about your personal stuffs to face, but some of them also will do something above to show their sympathy or understand or other emotions.
Well hopefully they won't judge you for opening up. That would not be cool. I also think if they are a good friend then they should also keep the personal information that was told to themselves and not share it with anyone.
If you have a good friend like this, I would say you are in pretty good shape!
First of all, willing to listen. Supportive and non judgmental depending on what I’m telling them. A great advice or suggestion is nice too. But feeling the presence and care of a friend is important.
Well let me make up an example: 🤔 Let’s just say I’m telling this person I had an argument with my brother or sister and during the argument, I might have said hurtful things to my sibling. I wouldn’t like my friend telling me “you’re a bad sister for that” because I might be feeling guilty already, and all I want is my friend to listen and give me a constructive advice. Now if I was telling my friend to I got a speeding ticket, then my friend can judge me all he/she wants.
I've opened up to friends lately ( last 18months) about a number of issues. True friends will listen, offer advice if relevant but overall just let you talk. Verbalising how you're feeling can help you start to process it all in a way the inner monologue dosent.
I kind of just want them to acknowledge the thing I shared with them, a lot of people don’t seem to do that so it means a lot when someone finally listens
I want them to be empathetic, basically. A lot of people just brush over the things I say, so it means a lot when someone not only listens but also responds to what I said in a way that shows that they care//
If I'm comfortable enough with someone and trust them unless I ask for advice no response is necessary, just knowing I have people like that in my life to lean on is good enough.
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