How do you make friends with anxiety, depression and self isolation?

[Anonymous]

How do you cope with “shutting down” and keeping friendships? I shutdown A LOT. Meaning, I tend to isolate for up to weeks at a time. I’m bad with messaging people first because keeping conversation exhausting for me (i feel embarrassed after everything I say. And over analyze everything) Because of this, people tend to think I don’t like them, or that I’m a bitch also when I come out of a funk, or try to socialize during a funk people tend to think I’m being fake 😩 there's no win. Please give me advice. I’ve lost all my friendships due to this. And I’m struggling so bad with loneliness and depression its killing me

[btbc92]

This is what I had to do when I had gone through all of that, years ago.

1. First, accept yourself and learn to love yourself as a person. When you don't learn to fully take time to understand who you are and practice self-awareness you will try to base your identity on others who aren't close to you.
2. If you are uncertain about your personality type, you can learn about that online. You sound like your an introvert. So we introverts will always get a bad rep, especially with extroverted people.
3. Know your limits! If you have a hard time messaging first ask yourself WHY your messaging in the first place and is it important for you to do so?
4. Don't connect with people who are fake, and doesn't appreciate you. If they get upset because you need more time for yourself, then they aren't real friends.
5. If your shutting down, then it means you aren't taking care of your personal needs. Make sure you practice wellness for yourself and self-care. It is very important. Go shopping if you need to, play a game or two if you want, get your favorite snack, pray, read the Bible, read a book, learn a language, etc. Take CARE of yourSELF! The more you neglect yourself, the worse you will be with other people and your physical and psychological health.
6. If people act a certain way around you that seems to be bullying, etc. Avoid them.
7. If people are getting too much into your business? Avoid them. You don't have to share your business.
8. If people are cursing at you, avoid them.
9. Stop begging for others to stay in your life. If they want to be there, they would. If they don't, then they won't. You will know your real friends.
10. If your very sensitive, if you feel something is wrong with a person, don't have them around. Get plenty of rest and detox.
11. Stop paying attention to what others say and think of you. I know, it's easier said than done, but you have to do for your sake. Because their negative thoughts of you are just selfish people who don't care about you and won't elevate your life nor will you benefit from them being there.
12. Don't assume everybody is your friend, and not everybody who is smiling in your face is really nice.
13. DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE ALONE. It's when your not looking for friends, is when you will gain them. That's how it worked for me. When my toxic friends abandoned me, I immediately gain new ones.

[fleurie]

I had depression and sadly social anxiety too and i used to and I doshut down from others a lot , I'm going to be 100% transparent with you.. sadly that's part of it.

You're totally valid , first of all I do feel like.. your friends weren't really friends if they left you like that just because depression is not a joke and when you have it you don't feel like responding to people or talking to them. One minute you're good and then the next you just shut everyone around you. Maybe they were oblivious and didn't know how extreme it could be.

As for friends, I'll said.. explain them the situation and tell them that sometimes you're not going to always respond to them h24 , maybe that's a copying mechanism to ghost people too. Tell them. And there's one thing that I learned and it's... to not hang out with people who are In the same situation as me , just because we all want to get better right? It's not going to help you. Try to find cheerful but loyal friends. Easier said than done tho , anyways maybe you could start on social media , it's easier to make friends here and weirdly enough you always find the most reliable people.

[TheReaILifeGrumpyCat]

So get stronger and keep trying. Or give up and wither away and die. The voice is yours. Life isn't easy for anyone and it's not going to do it itself.

[Iron_Man]

I would suggest first find yourself also seek out professional counseling to see if they can fix you with your problem

[Mrhuman]

You should see a therapist, remember that you can talk to other ones if you don't like the first. You could also find some groups on Facebook or discord if fandoms your into, then just start a conversation with someone in them

[Avicenna]

It's too hard for me to be friends with people like that

[Bandit74]

No idea, I'm very similar to you in that regard. 😔