Best way to comfort a girl?

[wallaber]

A girl that I sort of have feelings for, and vise versa, has been going through some tough times lately with family issues and other guy issues. All these things have been getting her down and a little depressed.

I have been there for her and tried helping her, and I think I have had a somewhat positive effect, but I've never known exactly what to say or do and can't help feeling a little helpless in situations like these. So girls, if you could help me out with the best and most effective ways to comfort her and sympathize with her and make her feel better?

I know most of it is common sense and I've done all the obvious things, but would there be something small and specific that would make a difference?

Thanks

[Will_Phoenix]

There is no easy answer to this. Everyone is different and there is no magic bullet to make people feel better. You just need to be strong, be there when/if she needs you. Give her a bit of space to breath. Ask how she is feeling. If she doesn't tell you, don't let that stop you asking again, but not right away, give it a few days-weeks. Tell her you are there if need be. And then let her come to you when she is ready. You cannot push yourself on her when she is down as it may force her down further or farther away.

Just be yourself, just be sincere to her, and just let her know that when she is ready you're a trustworthy, honest and sincere person that has been a rock throughout it all.

If she doesn't have feelings for you, do not use this as opportunity to make her fall in love with you. That wouldn't be a very nice thing to do to anyone.

Be her friend through all this, and put any kind of feelings for her "that way" to one side. She probably needs a friend more than a lover. And if she does have feelings for you, you will really make her day when she is feeling better and you both finally get it on. But until then, just be nice to her, don't treat her with kid gloves too much, but then don't smother her in concern. Just be her friend.

Hope this helps.

[SpiritxChild]

Dude all you really gotta do is stick by her side and never walk away. If there comes a time she is crying or down just walk up and give her a hug and tell her everything will be OK, that you are there for her and you always will be.

That is one of the thing's I'd do. Another thing I would do is seek out ways to make her happy. If you have a job or a means of making money and if it possible for you to do so take her out to eat or out to the movies. If you can write, write her a poem or an essay, about how you care for her and how you will always be there for her and that one day life will change and she will be like the most happiest woman. Etc...it does work. It all just depends on the girl. Or if your like me you know how to make it work on all type of girls of all backgrounds.

And dude I hope this friend of yours is going to be OK. I know how it is when it comes to depression and family issues and it isn't easy. It is a tough battle she is in right now. But she has a good friend like you sticking by her helping her through it all. She is lucky to have you there with her. My prayers will be with her that everything starts getting better for her soon.

[wallaber]

Thanks a bunch man!

[starangel248]

Sometimes when people are going through a rough patch, it's best to just be there for her. Ask her out to do some "fun" stuff so she can take her mind off things. Also, just tell her that you're there whenever she wants to talk, but I wouldn't outright ask her if anything is wrong. When things are rough, sometimes people just don't wanna talk about it. It's not that she doesn't see you as close of a friend enough to confide in, it's just that she's not ready to talk. (been there done that...) When I was going through a rough patch and I was withdrawing from just about all of my friends, this one guy friend kept poking at how I was doing, at random. I kept saying "yeah I'm fine" and kinda kept the convo short, but he kept messaging that I just decided to tell him what was going on, and he was there for me. The guy's now my (sort of) boyfriend. So I would say just really be there for her and help her get through the mess. Good luck!

[zeesh]

i wanted to ask the same and got the answer. I would like to add a question. when should I tell her that some mistake was hers in relationship. I feel sad that I live far and can't go to see her to make her happy

[spartanqueen26]

be there for her when ever she needs you, be a good listener us women we need someone to listen to us when we are having a hard time. then take her mind off of her problems after she is done telling you about the like make her laugh or take her out and go do something fun together in public like what just like what DonMichelle said go to the movies or bowling or something. and stay strong for her and don't give up on her no matter what . and remember she will always remember it was you who stood by her side when she needed someone to help her get through her pain and struggles.

I hope I was able to help! :)

[DonMichelle]

Take her out, take her mind off things. Take her somewhere where you're around a lot of other people (cinema, bowling, something fun) as if you're alone you'll end up talking about her problems again, she'll have them on her mind. You need to be in a fun, busy atmosphere, somewhere where she won't think about her problems and also a place where she can see others' enjoying themselves etc.