Is being born to parents from different countries/cultures a blessing or a curse?

[Marco10]

Blessing

Curse

Other answer

[AmandaYVR]

In the case of my parents, the country differences didn't make much difference. And their families both emigrated around the same time, and they ended up in the same place, so they had this foreign in a new land sort of commonality.

And I was raised with influences that were carried over from this. Those cultures were older, and more distinct, than the one I grew up in, which was very accommodating and not so distinct. Lucky for me.

But in general, all this travelling about the globe, and commingling, and uprooting... it's all hard. Hard on a person, a system, the family and friends who get disbanded and sometimes estranged. That has affected me - not ever really having a familial cohesiveness. But that isn't all because of the origins. Personalities and characters played a huge part in that divide. It's a hot mess, really. And each new person born into that, and who lives longer and longer within it, suffers somewhat from it. I wouldn't wish all that on anybody. But... it does make us probably overall better, more knowledgeable, worldlier, and maybe wiser. Not by default, but odds are greater.

I am a proponent of all types of people mixing and mingling together. It breaks down biases, prejudices, and challenges us in what we thought we 'knew' to be true. I have always gravitated towards people like this, the travellers. There's a certain adaptability, and openmindedness, that is really appealing, as a character trait.

I voted 'Blessing', but it's not without friction, pain, and challenges. But growth doesn't come without any costs.

[Marco10]

I can relate to your experiences Amanda. Of course no two experiences are the same. It’s never that. But that said, I understand how challenging it is to move from one place to another. You feel you’re constantly changing, not just your circumstances, but the inner blueprint of yourself in your head, whatever that is called. Sometimes I just sit and think of how long I’ve come and how life is really volatile and that overwhelms me sometimes, consoles me others.

It’s good you look at the positive sides of things though, and I think it’s a blessing too, with all the pain that comes with it.

[AmandaYVR]

Some other things I've discovered...
My husband's parents also left their home country, but much later in life, around 30 years old. They too came for a better life (but their destination country was America.) The age definitely makes a difference. But I'm not sure if that's better or worse. In one way, you might have more finances to tied you over, but in another way, you're starting over. I think in general, I'd say adapting is harder, the older you are. I didn't have much to my name when I moved countries, and I sold almost everything to my name, but for some somewhat inexplicable reason, I was up for doing it. It's much harder now. And there's more at risk, far more to lose when you're older.

We are both bothered that none of our parents (or relatives, for that matter) taught us their mother language. We were each given various reasons (excuses), but just lately I had an epiphany, and it makes me sad to realize this. I think it was done for privacy, to block us from being able to understand them talking with others, in that language. It feels actually very shifty, sneaky; and it really did both of us a disservice. I'm quite angry about it. Parents do many things that are not in the best interests of certain people (like their children.) They do things for other reasons. And they conceal all of that, for as long as they can.
You're at least fortunate you have the great benefit of knowing multiple languages.

I was not born in another country, so I always felt I was fully assimilated (except for the extreme eccentricities and personality flaws of my family and their decisions.) My husband was born in the U. S. but being of another skin colour always made him different. He's always felt betwixt and between, somewhat ungrounded, rootless. I wonder if this was, again, one of the reasons I was drawn to him. One was certainly that he did not overly ra-ra his country, like so many do. He was open to discussions about different cultures, and world affairs.

[AmandaYVR]

I could not have done what you did. But many do. I just would have felt too alone. There is a big difference between 0 and 1. That was enough for me, for a time, for many years, in a way. Then eventually, you realize your world has become too small, and you do need other voices in the mix sometimes. It makes the world feel less abstract, less cold, I think.

"You feel you’re constantly changing, not just your circumstances, but the inner blueprint of yourself in your head, whatever that is called. Sometimes I just sit and think of how long I’ve come and how life is really volatile and that overwhelms me sometimes, consoles me others."
This was beautiful.
I know exactly what you mean.

[Marco10]

About the language part, trust me I know. My dad is speaks two languages as his native languages and so does my grandma and they only taught me one of them. Was it sneaky on their end? I don't know but I’m indignant they didn’t teach me that. I agree about the age factor. The older we get, the more experience we have and the more boundaries we form in our minds (“life experiences” are shackles more than door openers). Being mature is great and I would like to believe I achieved a certain level of maturity beyond my age, but that maturity comes with a level of inhibition. I might not be making sense but what I meant was that moving and experiencing new atmospheres are always easier at a young age. It didn’t much of a shift what I did actually. My parents studied in America. I studied at an American school. I speak English like an American with a very subtle accent, but I do feel like my heart belongs to too many places, sometimes it’s distracting and hard to absorb.

[Marco10]

P. S. sorry for any typos (I did not proof read). I just threw my stream of thoughts on my keyboard.

[Sarahr123]

I always wished I had that because I always found mixed race people so interesting. I have an Indian (Bengali) and half White (English) friend and I always found her so interesting. I also know Indians who are quarter or half German and some other mixed race Asian and White people.

I love that I have different cultures because I have lived in England all my life and then I am Asian so I have a lot or different cultures but it gets confusing and I don’t know who I am or where I really belong.

You feel like you belong nowhere. I’m tooo Western for Asia and I’m maybe a tad to exotic for the UK.

Luckily I live in a diverse and multicultural city so I don’t really feel out of place.

I would imagine being mixed race would be even more confusing. Like do people ever feel like they belong neither here nor there?

Culture can be really nice but it can also be problematic so I try not to put much unnecessary emphasis on it in general.

[Marco10]

That’s a beautifully worded answer, thank you. And I agree with you. Putting too much emphasis on culture becomes a problem and not a plus. I try to be not too oversensitive about cultural stuff. I often hear people saying demeaning stuff sometimes about my culture, but my first response is always to educate them. I try not to get offended until they’re obviously make it their decision to be offensive and even then, I wouldn’t give too many F’s.

[Citizenkirk]

The point is mute 🤐, since something like Skynet will become self aware and determine that the best way to exterminate its human enemies, is to continue assistance efforts promoting the current Political - Economic agendas that are already in place, minus air traffic congestion and inefficiency to accelerate our demise through accelerated economic development of our massive industrial manufacturing complex of our industries, with the internet to accelerate the process, we've already put into place do far. SHAME ON US!!! Yes, global warming turns this hot 🔥🥵 tamale of a matzo ball known as Earth, into gaseous catalyzed molten filth. LIKE MERCURY, BUT MORE 🦨 TOXIC.

[TOTEMPLASTER]

It depends just how wide the behavioural and cultural norms are between the two. Muslim and Catholic would be a lousy mix but Protestant and Catholic would be 'Meh'. Similarly Shia and Sunni = no way as would a San Franciscan and someone from Vermont.

[Marco10]

Yeah, I guess this is right in most cases. My mother is catholic and my father is Greek Orthodox and they were incompatible, sometimes because of these differences.

[Anonymous]

Overall, I define it as a blessing for me having grown up with parents who went through a very different set of hardships which allowed me to be aware of the prejudice we still have and issues with white supremacy. I wish more people understood their privilege in order for us to be able to demand real socio-economic change and with that, I do get depressed which brings the dark side of growing up experiencing racial discrimination from different cultures. It was frustrating as a child to experience these things but you definitely grow from it.

[MADIQ]

please answer the question in my profile, no ever does.

[MADIQ]

No one*

[Marco10]

Unfortunately, racism and discrimination and biases will always be there in my honest and realistic opinion. You can never get rid of them 100% not even 80%. We would be living in a utopia if that was the case. But that’s the world we live in!

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah- I don't disagree with you. There will always be something that someone doesn't want to include in their lives but education is really important and we shouldn't view our hardships as a curse.

[Marco10]

True

[menina]

For me it's definitely a blessing. You're able to learn about two different cultures/countries, it makes you open-minded and more tolerant. If they speak different languages, you might be bilingual. You can also visit their countries and have different views about them. It teaches you that love has no boundaries.
If I have children, their father will be from another country for sure and I want them to embrace both cultures/countries.

[Marco10]

It’s great that you think so. I definitely look up to people from a multicultural upbringing who had a positive experience. Unfortunately, my experience wasn’t positive, but it gave me a lot and I’m grateful for that.

[menina]

Thank you. I'm not from a multicultural upbringing. My parents are from the same country even though my mother is mixed. I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience. But at least you learn a lot and that is always important.

[CalmYourTits]

Blessing. My family is very culturally diverse (different religions, races, and countries), and my experience was mostly negative, but I consider it a blessing because I understand everyone. It's made me more of a people person, and if you can win people over you are more sustainable to strong relationships.

[Marco10]

First things first, I love your username. I always use that phrase to calm my friends when they get a little excited.

I agree with you. My experience’s been negative too. I understand different kinds of people and I can converse in two languages besides English, but other than that I feel like that came at a very heavy price.

[CalmYourTits]

Agree. You find out that people are just effed up, and they need to work on themselves regardless of their: race, religion, nationality. People are just screwed up, and I have a theory of why.

[Marco10]

What’s your theory?

[CalmYourTits]

I believe that war is the problem. There are a few exceptions where someone is just born evil, but I think war really screws people's heads up. Then when the war is over it the mental issues are there and the survivors pass on their abuse. Like if a man lost is leg, and he is not dealing with it positively and he just keeps victimizing himself especially in front of his children, they will learn to find something about themselves that they can use as an excuse to be a victim. Or if a they were sexually abused as children they will either do the same, or they will end up being promiscuous and they will pass this on. The cycle continues until someone in the line breaks the cycle.

[Marco10]

That could be true in many cases actually. Tough to control and end its cycle though. War will always exist, in one shape or form.

[CalmYourTits]

I agree.

[maryisbreathing]

it's a bit of both, my japanese grandparents don't speak any English and I barely know any japanese so I can't talk to them while my English, catholic grandparents don't like the fact that my parents are lesbians (and I know that not all catholics are like this) but other than that I've not really had any problems with it, they're great parents and thanks to their different backgrounds I can talk to them about a lot of things and I get a lot of unique experiences

[Marco10]

That’s great. If there’s one thing I learned in my 29 years on this planet, it’s this: nothing is either good or bad. Most things are somewhere in the middle. We just have to know the pros and cons of every scenario and weigh them out. Obviously we don’t choose our parents/upbringing, but we have somewhat of a choice in how we view our circumstances and use them for us and not against us. (Excuse my philosophical mood)

[Unit1]

Neither.
what matters the most is if you, the child, gets to be happy (no abusive/toxic parents), Live a middle class lifestyle (no imposed poverty), can get successful and makes more money than the average citizen.

everything else is just secondary and not essential.

pennilessness and being disabled are the real curses.

[Marco10]

I agree

[Unit1]

Smart man!

[Unit1]

No money = You aren't privileged to eat = You starve = You die of starvation = Rest in Peace.

[EssenceOfLight]

Culture and ethnic of my parents is the same even thought they come from different countries. Time long I thought it's a curse, on the other hostility of some people who had objection about my mother's origin gave me lot of plus points by other people.

[Marco10]

Gotta look at the positives👍🏼

[rainbowbi]

I'm half American and half Italian , tbh it is really great. I can speak English and Italian and my genes are mixed so.
the fact that they are both my country and my land is really good also amazing culture

[Marco10]

Nice! I speak Italian too. But there’s no such thing as American genes lol, unless you’re half Native American.

[rainbowbi]

by mixed genes I meant like my physical appearance , yeah I know what you mean but in general being born to parents from different countries make your genes mixed

[DeeDeeDeVour]

I have a white American dad & a Filipino mom. Since childhood, my two brothers & I have seen nothing but blessings so far.

[Marco10]

Glad to hear🙏🏼

[1stranger]

Blessing. This causes you to get to know different cultures. And you're attractive and cool in the photo if it's you.

[Marco10]

It’s me, and thank you it’s very nice of you to say!

[Loveydove]

Definitely a blessing!
1. Languages you learn. Don’t let the USA fool you 60% of people speak more than one language and that’s a great thing. Especially for more job opportunities.
2. Food.
3. There’s beauty in cultures. To know where you came from. So many stories. I love culture Asian culture, Hispanic Culture, African Culture, Indian culture etc.
4. The weddings are better!!!

[bobalife]

Blessing! What’s more to love and expand your horizon of learning about so many cultural... I think it gets a little fun to explore and be curious of~

[Marco10]

I agree with you. It comes with its challenges, but definitely with its rewards too.

[bobalife]

Thank you :) What do you think may be some of the challenges and rewards?

[Marco10]

Challenges:

- Sense of belonging might not be as strong as if the parents were from the same country
- In certain cares, the differences can create a toxic atmosphere later on that would affect the kids, but that could be true in any unhealthy family

Rewards:

-Multilingual
-cultural awareness
-Mixed features could be really attractive
-Multiple passports 😂

[bobalife]

It’s interesting what you have expressed could be a couple challenges as it might be tough on an individual to feel dual cultures and not as a whole with one or the other. Though it can be a bit difficult, I also think it’s beautiful because truly they’re a part of both worlds and cultures ☺️ I may not be mixed but I struggled with two different cultures growing up. I had to grasp that this actually makes me a more unique individual and I’m going to embrace that it holds more meaning this way of the person I am today. I also don’t need to follow any typical way of how a certain race/nationality has to follow under, just be your own person and shine that way 💁🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️ hehe. Of course we all want a sense of belonging in a community and such, but I also wonder why fit into one box.. when we are multiple things as an individual 😊 what could be some “toxic atmosphere” that could affect the kids?

lmaooooo @ multiple passports! Definitely the fun in traveling 😃! Hehe. I wish I can travel more~ I couldn’t agree more to all the rewards! I would also like to add in your rewards list: having open mindedness and definitely* attractive 😜 Lolz.

[Marco10]

Yes, I agree with you. And definitely open mindedness and being attractive are potential perks!

[bobalife]

Hehe yasss 😊

[Avicenna]

It usually makes you more dextrous in dealing with different cultures, at least in the two of your parents.

[Marco10]

Absolutely! It gave me a job early on in my career after graduating, just because of my background. Interviewers didn’t even care about my degrees.

[Avicenna]

Exactly

[Nmalinova]

Definitely blessing! Being culturally aware is a very powerful gift I believe

[Marco10]

I agree with you

[Adam1978]

Blessings you have a bigger pool of experience from your parents you can draw knowledge from.

[Marco10]

True

[mario_with_no_luigi]

I wouldn’t be able to tell exactly because my parents are from the same culture but i would imagine it to be more of a blessing than it would be a curse

[Marco10]

It’s good to look at it that way I guess

[KyceG]

Like Forest Gump said “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one your gonna get”.

[Marco10]

Right lol.

[Mariana1097]

Curse for me being born to an Affair. It nice coming from Spanish & Italian family nice on my skin.

[Marco10]

Nice combo! parli italiano?

[Mariana1097]

I don’t speak Italian my great grandfather came to US wanted to be American so spoke only English in the house. As far as my father I’m his dirty little secret.

[Marco10]

Sorry to hear that! The circumstances we’re born into don’t define us. We define ourselves.

[legalboxers]

not being homogeneous like everyone else. Instead of being your basic bologna and cheese, you are gabagool with cheese!

[Marco10]

What’s wrong with gabagool and cheese? 😂

[legalboxers]

@marco10 its gotta be provolone and balsamic vinegar with sun dried tomatoes or fresh Mutz (sorry Im a NYCer born and raised) there are certain standards on now you eat it!

[Marco10]

I got family all over Brooklyn and Staten Island. I lived in NY too. Have you ever been to Anthony & Son on Graham and Frost?

[legalboxers]

@marco10 Im in Staten... lol. Where is that located? Bensonhurst?

[Marco10]

Oh I should’ve mentioned it’s in Brooklyn

[legalboxers]

@marco10 Brennan and Carr, L&B are the best!!

[Marco10]

Been to both 👍🏼

[jshm2]

Depends on the family dynamics, I suppose.

[Marco10]

You’re absolutely right

[sheikalana]

Never saw it as a curse.

[Marco10]

I guess like mentioned below, it all depends on the family dynamics. In my case, I can’t decide if it’s a blessing or a curse. I can speak two languages besides English, but I also feel like I don’t have a strong sense of belonging to one culture or the other. It’s hard to explain I guess.

[sheikalana]

I know I feel the same but I'm totally fine with it.

[Marco10]

Glad to hear it 👍🏼