I guess my brother needs to go home right?

[Anonymous]

My younger brother is nearly 22 and literally isn't good at anything (not even strength; without even trying too much I can knock him out in one punch; seriously), has no actual skills (not even take a bus by himself to longer distance or meet up a friend), doesn't work, has wild episodes with tantrums, has limited to no social life, had to get paid to have sex once and isn't interested in hobbies nor sports at all. My parents are super worried about him. There aren't any benefits for him in our country. He was really born in FL, USA.

My parents have tried every option possible from taking him to different specialists, therapists, get him involved in social activities, enrolling him in English classes, placing him martial arts, etc. I've tried getting him involved in parties and more social activities. There isn't any improvement. Nothing. He is failing in everything and his future is uncertain. Every single exam done on him about autism came out negative. He has no autism and his brain scan showed it fuctions normal. He has no brain lesions. So my parents are really at lost now.

Now together, we're thinking that perhaps he needs to go home... go to his house, his homecountry where they can give him help he needs. He would have all the benefits for being a native born US citizen. There aren't any benefits for him over here.

Updates

1 mo

In his school years, he got treated poorly by his classmates. They treated him as if he was some type of weird foreigner. It makes it worse that he got bullied but really isn't good at anything either.

[Anonymous]

If going back to his home country will help teach him structure and how to be a man then yeah, he should go. Your parents have done their job raising you both, it isn’t fair at their age to have to worry so much and commit these years (that should be peaceful) to still taking care of this man. With their safety net he will never grow or take care of himself, that means when their time comes to pass he’d be like a fish out of water.

[Asker]

Indeed. My father is nearly 70 by now and mom is in her late 50's. My father was never the type to admit defeat and always thought there is solution to everything but has recently expressed concern and said he doesn't know what else to do anymore. They've done more than enough and nothing is working.

[Opinion Owner]

Gosh, late 50s isn’t too bad but your dad at nearly 70 makes me so sad. That sort of stress is terrible for his health, mentally and physically, and to be burdened with such worry I wouldn’t be able to help but fear he’d have a heart attack or worse. I truly hope your brother is able to get help and stand on his own two feet. I know this world is wicked and hard, people are struggling with mental health in ways I’ve never seen. But it doesn’t mean we just tap out and choose to burden our parents with taking care of us forever. It just isn’t fair, or practical.

[jahaims]

Sounds like undiagnosed special needs

[Anonymous]

Yeah I agree

[Asker]

Thank you. Yeah our country really hasn't done him any favors. He's getting worse than ever. It's making my mother cry so much for him, for his future.