Is it weird to want to date someone who doesn’t have, want, or need friends?

Question

Like i want to date someone who’s quite social like myself. But i dont want to go through the hassle of them having social media and best friends. A lot of people don’t know how to balance school, jobs, and significant others. So adding social media and friends into the mix takes em away from quality time even more. Plus social media is nothing but drama and an excuse to hoe around. Like I’m not clingy but I also dont like to share 🤣 I just wana know he’s available if needed. Yea this sounds bad. Oh well, fck it. But I just want someone who still knows how to hang around others but he also know how to prioritize. If he already came with friends, it is what it is. But im mainly referring to those who like have no friends but then choose to make friends with others AFTER getting into a relationship. Associates are fine, but friends? Really. Like Thats like ass backwards to me. Do that before we meet 
 #FeelFreeToList #FckFriends

pikuroy · Accepted Answer

If someone can handle their loneliness, then they are the best people to be in relationship with.

If a person has no need of social media, streaming apps, doesn't need to party, hang around with friends...

But is happy, focused on their job...

They have spent huge amount of time to sort themselves out and train their mind. Quality people they are! No matter what relationship with you they agree upon, they will never fail you.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

I am pretty content with my life , I don’t live on social media and I have friends but we see each other here n there, when I get into a relationship most of my time is spent with her , finding a girl that is content like me is hard to find these days

ragequeen · Answer

You denying him friends and him not wanting friends are two different things. However, I do believe it's hard to find someone like that nowadays (who doesn't want or need friends). We all need people around us. People who can satisfy different needs. You as a girlfriend should prioritize his happiness and well-being. It doesn't just go one way where he prioritizes you. Life is about living and having fun. Meeting exciting new people. It doesn't mean he will be taken away from you. It's also important to miss each other in a relationship.

To answer your question more accurately, though, I wouldn't say it's weird. Everyone has preferences, but it's about whether or not they are in touch with reality. I don't think yours is. How is your social life? Do you have many friends? Could you imagine not being with them because your partner prefers you didn't? If it's insecurity issues, which is kind of what it sounds like, maybe try counseling. Friends are so much fun and we learn so much about ourselves by being with different people.

hahahmm · Answer

Basically IF you're a high quality woman, you will get maximum attention from a guy. That doesn't mean he can't have friends. But he will know how to "prioritize" as you say. The flip side is true too. If he's a high quality guy you WILL want to give him the same thing. Some people on GAG just don't get it when I tell them that if they're really 100% committed they won't be flirting with others. They get upset and argue about how they need male friends because they're "lonely" and their boyfriend should understand. Please.

HiveBee · Answer

I dont have or want friends. I am extremely picky when it comes to friends. Most people I meet are social leeches. They only have friends because they need people to leech social energy off of. Not that they have a genuine connection with that person.

I need a genuine connection with a person. I dont have time to waste on fakers and losers.

I do like some people and I am always happy to see them. But those people are also losers who are going nowhere in life. I want friends who build me up and i can build them up too. I want friends who have the same values as me. I can't waste my time 9n dudes who want to play video games all day every day for the rest of their lives.

So I'm very picky with friends. I dont want any unless they are a benefit to my life and its a genuine connection.

ChiTown33 · Answer

No it's not weird because as you get older career and family life eventually take more and more time away from friends anyhow. You don't stop being friends it just friendships just get pushed to the back burner. It's just the natural progression of life.
The only thing i'd be concerned about is maybe you might have attachment issues. I mean to seek out someone who doesn't have friends because you migjt view them as competition for your partners time. This shouldn't be an issue as your partner should always be your first priority.

TruthBringer · Answer

I've learned that the older you get in life, the smaller your circle of friends become. Most adults don't have a true friend. They have associates and acquaintances. What matters the most is not whether someone has friends or not. What matters is that they have a life outside your relationship without it interfering with your relationship. In the end, it all comes down to priorities.

We all got careers, studies and family to pay attention to. And those in relationships sacrifice time with friends in order to maintain these priorities.

But if you want your partner not to be hanging out with friends because you want to occupy their time even more, then you should do some genuine self-reflection. Just because you get in a relationship, doesn't mean it's okay to expect your partner to just give up on their other relationships.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

There is a major difference between wanting to be made a priority in someones life, wanting them to choose you over social plans of convenience over wanting someone with no friends.

Friends are important when you actually spend like a bajillion hours together and everything becomes normal. Sometimes its nice to go out with your friends and to not come back to a messy place cuz he was in the house eating snacks all day. Sometimes its nice to have the room or apt to yourself so you can rub one out or check your bank balance or online shop in peace. There are things your friends like to talk about that he's not gonna give 2 shits about. That is okay.

JosyJosy · Answer

I can see that. Thinking about it. I see my SO during the weekend, now imagining him having a boys night every weekend every day, that'd be even less time I'd see him, would bother me a little. Or maybe there's that one friend who doesn't like you and tries to screw up the whole relationship.

Citizenkirk · Answer

I believe we all need friends, most of us want friends, and everyone deserves too have a friend. I do not believe that anyone who claims too want no friends is being honest with themselves, or anyone else. A person who has only been in one community all their lives shouldn't reject things they have never experienced, because some people live in toxic social environments, and should try other places to meet people and see what life is like outside of their origins or their comfort zone. If a person has had bad experiences with people socially, and think that those experiences represent all Life experiences, then they really need to get out and see different places with different types of people before making any kinds of definitive assumptions about their life, who they are, and what they can become. Some people have an easier time in social situations with other people than others, but everyone can benefit from friendships and positive life affirming contacts with human beings.

msbrightness · Answer

Nope - that is your ideal mate/future husband - especially if financially/professionally independent or accomplished.
Most friendships are fakery and abuse and teaming up to backstab - any wise person knows that.
How sociable you are depends on how much others are trying to rob you - the good ones are alone and not participating in the overwhelming BS of the past (sex and the city and prostitution rings, drugs, falsified money, human trafficking - it is ALL mainstream still)

ThePolishKnight37 · Answer

I am on your side. I have probably two friends and a lot of acquaintance's. I am a friendly guy, I just do not need people to validate me. I am comfortable in my own skin. I believe that is what Desi is saying here. Do you need a bunch of people saying you are cool and nice or are you just cool and nice?

Luv2BRealExotic13 · Answer

I’m just like what is wrong with the both of them? How is that person even dating without a modicum of interpersonal relationships outside of family? They must have really really poor boundaries, be really toxic, have some sort of personality disorder, immature incel, or a serial killer. Then the fact that the other person is actively looking for someone like this it sounds like they have abusive and controlling issues revolving around deep insecurity. That should probably get figured out before dating. People are not possessions. People that can have the capacity for relationships know how to prioritize.

EyebrowChewie · Answer

If you can't demonstrate you can KEEP or want/need friends, that you have emotional intelligence and can be there for someone you know actually be reliable/worth something to them and vice versa, how on earth can a date even trust you or see you as someone who can sustain a long relationship?
Reputation is a thing, it's part of what has someone believing you're a decent human being and won't be an asshole/creep down the line.
It's weird yes. You may find someone who lost friends because they moved and thats okay, they will take time to settle and find some new ones.
But someone whose reasons are not justified, they have issues within themselves that are unlikeable.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

When that day comes (being attracted to that person).
We have to learn how to handle situations.
you usually don’t know that person till you get to know... by then maybe falling in love 🥰

so how to handle different type of people who you fall in love with?
maybe put in your dating profile?
don’t think it’s realistic...
At the end of the day... we leanr to work together with our partner how to make the relationship better.
if they value social media more or other priority... then I move on to be with someone who see me similar as them.

SystemOfTheMachine · Answer

I was once told by my best friend to watch women who have no friends. I almost dated one, and he was kinda right. She was really weird. I make friends really easily, so I could never date someone who wanted to stop that from happening. It seems controlling. Also, I've seen what having no friends and just a partner does to you. It makes you awkward to others and mentally dependent upon the partner in an unhealthy way. My sister made that mistake and now she needs therapy all the time, because her one friend who was also her lover turned out to be abusive.

Anonymous · Answer

Yikes.. where do you find a healthy human being who loves you, but its stable enough to understand that need.
Sorry to be a bit blunt, but when you love someone you cherish what makes them feel happy, of course respecting the partner and love relation you both share. But just to share with you a little detailing.. a lot of abusers "isolate" their partners by intentionally being their only support and social system.
I understand that it might be exhausting if your preferences are a man who's less social in that sense, but still, human beings are social.

courtney06 · Answer

I guess it depends on the individual. I don’t think it’s weird, but I can see how others would. Ideally I like a guy who is better at socializing than me, but makes me the priority. I also prefer someone who doesn’t use social media.

MindYourEyes · Answer

Nah I’m kinda the same way too. XD less drama in my opinion. I don’t have many friends let alone use or have social media platforms. So it would be cool to have someone that is just as private as I am.

CynicalWriter · Answer

My own wife didn't have any friends when we met and that didn't bother me at all in the slightest. I learned that she had always been a loner. A Tomboy without a care, androgynous-looking. We fell in love because we share a love of music from our teen years, the 1990's. Plus, we're both Australians living in the US. We just became friends and it progressed from there.

Jemini_Crocket · Answer

I'd like the same thing you do. Hopefully there are still some people who think the same. And I don't think it's weird at all. I think it's quite reasonable lol

alice55 · Answer

I don't think is it, I'm the same ways. If he don't have friends then he'll spend more time with me. That's a win situation.

itsjustlew · Answer

I have a few friends I text and see in class once a week. I don’t have any friends I hang out with or talk to on a regular basis. I’m very introverted and I like to keep to myself so that’s why. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to date someone with no friends, it usually just means their introverted.
I wouldn’t see it as a red flag, what is a red flag is if someone’s friends seem toxic and make a lot of rude, misogynistic, and racist remarks, it reflects your partners character too.

Jjpayne · Answer

I guess you know what you are looking for 🤔 I suppose there is the idea of them being comfortable with not needing a relationship so they are less needy 🤔

I personally myself would want someone that wants and desires to be around me 😂 but thats just me and there are personalities of every kind for every type of desired relationship too 😊

Anonymous · Answer

I don't have many friends myself, neither does my man, but sometimes I need time with what few friends I have or, God forbid, being ALONE, just as he does.
I don't think it's healthy to ask someone to drop every other relationship just so they are overly focused on your relationship. Especially if you eventually break up, because you have taken away your partner's support network.
It's unhealthy.

Paulychicago10 · Answer

I dont blame you. Sometimes all of these things take away from spending time with your significant other. Also gives a sense of uncertainty of trust if they have all of these. Especially the social media.

Trooper205 · Answer

That's actually a good idea, for the sake of the Relationship. People will get in the middle of it, sometimes for the sake of Jealousy.

shade_19 · Answer

i just feel u got a lot of demands girl !
do u urself complete these demand if a guy asks the same thing? first relationship, then friends !
if u think u could, then hope u get a guy like urs,
if u don't, then well... even i think the same lol

Mystery_World · Answer

I don't think it is.. in the end.. It's about how well do you get along with him. Tbh we don't find genuine friendships these days.. More friends more troubles..

OlderAndWiser · Answer

A partner who does not have any friends is more likely to be entirely dependent on their romantic relationship for social activities. For some people, a partner like that would be a great match. For others. . . not so much.

Shark_61695 · Answer

I don't think finding a friend is something you can control. It is fine to want to date someone with no friends but you can't stop them from making one. In 20 years time when you are out of the picture and that friend remains then their life would be better for it. Also consider if they told you you couldn't make any friends whilst in a relationship with them.

art84 · Answer

I myself don't have friends and if I was in a relationship, I wouldn't post on social media everything that goes on in my life. Some things I like to keep private to myself as I would like for what happens between me and the girl to remain between us.

ProfessionalMusician · Answer

Well it means that he is very secure with himself and doesn't need or want friends of the same sex I was like that I was touring and it was always the same artists and musicians on the plane or tour bus but was differentiated by who road in the limousines at the site of the next Concert! I was always in the best limo well respected amount all the Stars, I was looking for girls!

EaterPeter · Answer

Nope. That's probably called controlling needy clingy on other end. I don't like to share. What mine is mine and and whats yours is mine too. I want all in exchange of nothing. And yes it can called true love. Unconditional love and such too. Unicorns 🦄 are real, aren't they? I will find one some day and have it as my pet.

Mehzmeh · Answer

I am a social butterfly. Some how I, attract friends all the time. Lol. I do not have antisocial media. So, I get that. It's not weird at all actually. But, trust me. You want you man to meet new guy friends. Or and maybe females who are in relationships. Because that guy can get really clingy. Also you will want space. Trust me on that one. Lol

Anonymous · Answer

I only agree SoMe should be a low priority. But meeting new people is awesome, and if you connect and become friends it is even more amazing. Life is long. Can have many good friends through life. I myself naturally got a new close friend like every 3-5 year through my life. Besides it is also nice to hang out with a SO and friends. No need to always choose one over the other.

alance99 · Answer

I would love to date a girl who doesn't have friends or dont need them

legalboxers · Answer

My ex was like that. People are usually self sufficient

Shiver · Answer

Not having friends is pretty harmful to a relationship in my experience. People can get clingy and controlling really easily without anyone to spend time with outside the relationship. Had that happen before.

telleemonster · Answer

Until now I thought I was the only one to think this way I don't see it weird at all.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

A little bit of a red flag to me that the person doesn't value human connections. But exceptions always, for example new in town, went through recent fall out w friends not his fault etc

Sam_The_Savage · Answer

Oh girl than you would like me for sure I'm the asshole who always stay silent n most of the time alone no friends I don't like drama and headache by choice. I'm fuckboy. I'm player.

But I doubt I like you.

NathanDavis · Answer

Now I want to be your (online) friend, what's so wrong about friendship that you don't want it for yourself or others?

Anonymous · Answer

"I'm not clingy" yes... you are. And also controlling it seems. You want him to be all about you and at your beck and call. Recipe for disaster.

Alyssa11 · Answer

Yeah that’s kinda weird. At least one friend or at least want some friends lol

Anonymous · Answer

I’m exactly what you’re talking about. Sucks to see that so many opinions saying its weird to date me

Anonymous · Answer

I hope I find a women like you one day. I think the exact same way as you do.

ayomanwya · Answer

I would like to know what in the world is wrong with finding new friends while being in a relationship? He meets your family while being in a relationship. Some girls really need to stop acting like they can just control everything

Maspolomas · Answer

No that’s fine to want what you desire. I don’t have any friends only social media life. My girlfriend says we don’t go out enough I have to remind her we live in Florida and hardly anyone takes this pandemic seriously

aliali8 · Answer

yes it is weird. But there is a high chance that someone who doesn't feel the need to socialize would actually care to make a girlfriend.

psychoticanimaIIover · Answer

Probably. But who needs friends when you have Netflix?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yeah, that might be a bit too much to ask. Networking is an important skill that helps people be more successful in life. You shouldn't hold your man back like that.

Wiredone · Answer

So what you are looking for is someone that is at your beckoning call when you want them. Someone who has you and only you to talk to. Personally, I think you are looking for a needle in a haystack.

Smoothing · Answer

I would honestly say, that is slightly unrealistic.

johnieohm2 · Answer

This is understandable... typically the nerds in college and high school do not have friends until they graduate with a degree and a promise of a $100k job with all the benefits

Anonymous · Answer

Im married to. someone with no friends n it can be over bearing 2hen you're with someone who only has u

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

I'd be scared that would be the case with me. I do have friends and have social media but we are not much in contact

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, i think you might regret them having no friends, but them being not very focused on social media would be a plus.

bulletbob555 · Answer

There is some sort of personality that craves unavailable partners

AdithyaR · Answer

Seems reasonable, your explanation has sound logic.

timeforsomegag · Answer

if i was a perfect gentlemen would you consider talking to me on discord one time & if you dont like our chat  i will leave you be forever

msc545 · Answer

I wouldn't date someone who has no friends, since that suggests there is something seriously wrong with them.

Is it weird to want to date someone who doesn’t have, want, or need friends?

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Would you date someone who has no friends?

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Would you date someone who has no friends?

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