Why do some people see all flaws in other people but never in themselves?

[Anonymous]

My sister and I once used to be close but due to personal life decisions, that changed. One specific life decision that I made that sort of deteriorated our relationship, I expunged it from my life and after doing it and seeing as though my sister and I wasn’t as close anymore and didn’t talk much anymore I figured it would be a good thing to make amends and at least hang out again and catch back up and in so little words she told me she didn’t want to be bothered with me but tried to be nice about it by saying she needed space. I didn’t pressure her and I left it alone. I no longer stay with our parents, she still does but recently I came to my parents house to stay a few nights, they have a extra room for that reason and my sister didn’t speak to me or acknowledge me. I’m not the only person she’s done this too though. One of our cousins that we were both close with at one point also made a life decision that I suppose she didn’t agree with and felt as if it was a disrespectful decision to make and he did the same thing I did, tried to make ammends and figure out why she was upset at him and she blew him off as well and still no longer talks to him but my thing is, she doesn’t always make the best life decisions or choices either. She doesn’t always do things we agree with but we never cut her off the way she does a lot of us in the. It’s like she feels she’s perfect enough to judge someone’s character enough to say “I no longer want to speak or deal with you ever again.”

[devilish-cutie]

it depends on what you did, maybe what you did was really horrible to her and she doesn't see way to go past that
or you expect her to right away forgive and forget, while it may require some making up to do from your side... and showing true regret on how you hurt her
she may be experiencingthings on deeper level that you
her bad decisions might have not been something that badly affected your relationship but only her life

[Asker]

She literally stopped talking to me because I unfortunately ended up falling In love with a guy who was abusive and it got so bad that nothing that her and the rest of my family and Friends would say to get me to leave him would work. I continued to go back no matter how many times I left and no matter how many times he hurt me physically. He manipulated me into thinking they were on the outside looking In and would never understand “our” relationship and she and the rest of my family judged me without actually knowing how it feels to be in my shoes in that specific dangerous and violent situation. It had gotten to a point where I was choosing him over them and I believed that rather I chose them over him or him over them that my love for each and every one of them remained the same but it wasn’t like I was choosing him because I picked this dangerous love over my family but because after everything he put me through mentally I wasn’t there no matter how much I tried to persuade myself that I was but because I chose him so often over them, without her and the rest of my family really understanding why I was doing that, she felt hurt over that decision and by the time I finally ended things with him for good, I suppose now she wants nothing to do with me.

[devilish-cutie]

you choose him over your family, you gotta own up to your mistakes, properly show regret and apologize. you gotta make it up to them. you can't expect them to instantly forgive you and act like nothing happened. show you truly regret your decision and that you would never do something like that again. When relationships are damaged, it takes time to salvage them