Is it right my mum lets my youngest brother 15 come back home in 1 in the morning from a party?

[Anonymous]

This isn’t the first time! He’s only just turned 15 and no one really knows the friends he hangs out with and all he does now is go out with his friends whether he’s actually doing something or finding something to do and my mum has no concern with him being out past 12 even with the minimum communication they have. I’m always the one trying to keep updated as to where my brother is and my mum is just calm about things. It’s really pissing me off! This couldn’t ride as a female when I was 15 so I don’t understand why it’s okay for him? What, cause he’s a boy? Kmt I’m so pissed. Looking at the time now, it’s 01:04 in the morning!

[Curmudgeon]

Thoughts:
1. he's a dork, and your parents are not worried about what he and his fellow dorks are up to.
2. He can't get pregnant, and you can.
That said, if he's up to no good, and old song comes to mind:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/cntvEDbagAw

[Asker]

Single parent with just my mum. My mum is his guardian. My dad is concerned and frustrated but he doesn’t live with me so in that sense that’s not entirely true. 2 that doesn’t matter. Being out late at that time, there are still risks especially living in London!

[Curmudgeon]

Based upon your use of the Queen's English, I was guessing that. And I was thinking your "mum" and dad would relate to the Ska video from that era, if they are my age. But to address your answers to wit:
1. Your mum may sadly assume he is a big boy and he can fend for himself, rightly or wrongly, and
2. Actually that DOES matter to parents. Take it from an oldster here, or ask any parents of girls. Just saying...

[Asker]

It does matter but it also doesn’t cause what I’m saying is… pregnancy is a risk for girls. Ok… Well boys can sleep around as well. Isn’t that not a risk?… plus boys are at risk of being on the street at what time in the night! Both sexes have both their risks but what you’re saying is girls are most likely to get pregnant than a boy is? Cause I’m getting the impression is that you’re kinda saying that girls are less trustworthy than boys are. Or not that we aren’t trustworthy but you can’t trust other people around your girls than other people or other influences around your boys too? If that made any sense at all

[Curmudgeon]

"Cause I’m getting the impression is that you’re kinda saying that girls are less trustworthy than boys are."

Not at all. However, biology is what it is. I did not say that was fair, just that it simply *was*.

Anyway, ask your mum. Confront her on it.

[Asker]

I have. She doesn’t see the issue but I do. But not at all parents are right we can all agree they aren’t perfect either. Only reason why I say what I say as well because honestly it’s bad I say it but I’m not sugar coating the truth. My mum does try to do what’s best sometimes but she also lacks and I think she lacks more than she tries. I’ve tried to help but there’s only so much when your parent feels like you’re interrogating them or telling them how to do their job. She chooses to lack I’m sure of it but if you choose to have children, know the sacrifices it will take raises those children. I don’t know what it’s like but I’d like to tell myself that I’ll do my very best to raise and protect my children in the best way I can for them. That’s the sacrifice id have to take because I’m parent. That is my responsibility. But I don’t want to go too deep into it but yea

[nachosaresexy]

Let little homie get his game on! Has he ended up causing/getting into any trouble so far?

[Asker]

Nope but that doesn’t make it okay! Girls don’t cause trouble when they’re out either but it doesn’t warrant us to stay out late at that time if we were 15! Staying out that late is a privilege the older you get! If he’s getting these privileges now who’s knows, he might be able to come back the next morning or I may not see him until the next afternoon and things will be fine. No one will batter an eyelid… Talking about this is just beyond me as it is

[nachosaresexy]

He's less than 3 years away from being able to pick up a gun and go fight in a war. Bro bro should be able to stay out late as long as he knows how to avoid trouble.

[Asker]

3 years. That’s a long time so until he hits 18 then I don’t have a problem. But again he’s young, I don’t know who he’s around and what influence he’s under but that’s your point and clearly your entitled to have but only I would say what I say because I know what I know and I’m aware of the risks… But overall I get your point, honestly. I just simply don’t agree with you

[nachosaresexy]

I respect that you're looking out for him. Are you more worried about his own well being or the fact that the rules are different for him than you? Probably a little bit of both yeah?

[Asker]

A bit of both, yea but moreso his well being. If there was so much concern for my whereabouts and my sisters, where is this same energy when it comes to him? I want him to have fun don’t get me wrong. I encouraged him to go out more and be social cause covid held him back mentally. So his freedom I’m all for it but we don’t live in a perfect world and people are stupid and will do dumb things just cause. His friends that I don’t know and neither does my mum or anyone in this house, there’s clearly a reason why I’ve never met any of them yet or they haven’t been here. So yea I care more for his safety

[nachosaresexy]

You sound like a good sister!

So far was this mostly a one time thing where he went to a party and stayed out past 1:00 or whatever? Or has it started to become a normal thing?

[Asker]

Started to become a thing. Last time it was past 12:00am and now the latest has been like 1:30 in the morning. Could I get any worse? I don't know but I’m not here for it. I seriously won’t be happy

[nachosaresexy]

Next thing you down he gonna be dating yo friends!

[Asker]

Lmaooo over my dead body

[nachosaresexy]

ok yeah i'm joking about that last part... hopefully!

[aided_]

pft i wish i was allowednto do that no its dangerous outside for a 15 year old

[Asker]

Exactly what I was thinking! This could never ride when I was 15! My curfew was 11 the latest even with communication! I swear it’s a boy and girl thing I don't know. It’s just weird or maybe he’s the youngest and there’s 5 of us already. I’m the second oldest so the rules affect him less because my mum just… idek. It’s just not right at all

[aided_]

lols there's 5 of us too
i have a sister whos the second oldest
im second youngest

[TheReturnOfTheK1ng]

If it's a man, it's okay, if it's a woman, it's not okay.

[Asker]

That’s just the dumbest shit I’ve heard. I mean personally I get where you’re coming from we’re not the same but it doesn’t matter when you’re 15! Rules are rules regardless of the sex. In this case he’s 15 with a crowd I’m not familiar with and no one’s batted an eye lid. In what world? Cause seriously this is beyond ridiculous. Females have the risk of being out late at night just as much as guys do. It’s no different

[In_Trance]

If she said it was ok, then, yeah

[Asker]

I disagree with you on that but fair enough

[Sam_The_Savage]

🤣🤣🤣

[Asker]

Share the joke. I wanna laugh too

[Sam_The_Savage]

I read your question and you sound so cute... haha.

What bothering you?

Your brother came at 1am
Or your mum didn't allow you to out till 1am?

[Asker]

Not necessarily the same comparison but it’s about his safety. Like I’ve already said no one knows the crowds he’s under the influence with. He’s a wise boy yea but he’s still young at mind and at heart and it’s just not right personally. I only used myself as an example because how is it that it was such an issue even being older than him but with him it’s just… everyone living on cloud 9 like things are fine. Like what the hell? Sometimes I wonder if my mum is on the same planet like it’s just not ok!

[Sam_The_Savage]

Wow you're caring n loving...

Why wait for your mum?

You should talk to your brother
It's very easy to manipulate 15yr old kids mind..

You should talk to your mum & brother about this.

[Asker]

My older brother hasn’t said anything but had so much to say about me and my sisters when we were his age or moreless when we were older and everyone knew where we were. Trust me I’ve tried but my mum doesn’t want me stressing her life out and in her head, as long as she has an idea of where he is, it’s fine! I’ve spoke to her about it and she thinks I’m giving her grief? Do me a favour… I’m sick and tired of stuff like this, it really makes me just not want to live here. I can’t live here and let things like this happen. I can talk to my brother but he’s taking my mums word for it more than mine. In his head safety isn’t deep but he feels he isn’t dumb and he knows what he’s doing! Which teenage boys already think. They’re grown anyway then with my mum allowing it it’s just… for him. That’s just perfect ain’t it

[Sam_The_Savage]

You have heart of gold...