Is this wrong to think?

[Graci_e]

I have 2 older sisters (24 and 18) and a brother (14). Then I have my two stepsisters (11 and 14) and a stepdad. We’ve lived together for 6 months and our parents have been together for a year. My older sisters moved out years ago.

So my sisters are both/were pregnant and one just gave birth 2 days ago.

My step family are really weird when it comes to my older sisters. My step sisters act like they’re blood related to my sisters and have been raised together. My stepdad acts like he knows everything about them. They barely know them.

My stepsisters say they’re the favourites of my sisters and they’re gonna be the favourite aunties.

They disregard mine, my mums and brothers relationships with my older sisters and act like they have no different of a relationship.

My mum is trying to sneak us down to meet my older sisters baby without my stepfamily being there. But if they find out, shit could hit the fan because my step sisters aren’t there. My mums trying to do it strategically today but there’s a chance I won’t be able to see my sister and meet my niece

This is really frustrating for me. These are my sisters that I have a close bond with and I love so much. This my niece that I love so much already and I might miss out on meeting her today because of my step family’s weird obsession.

I find it hard to deal with. They act they have every right to meet my niece before any one else. And by anyone else I mean their biological aunts and uncles on both sides, their biological grandparents, my sister and brother in law’s friends, our/his cousins, etc.

.

Updates

1 y

Like the words they use about my sisters: my stepdad told someone today that my sister tells US everything, meaning my step family included. Which she doesn’t, she tells my mum everything. He talks to people as if they’re his daughters, telling them about their personalities, what they’re like and their pregnancy’s. My step sisters add their two bobs worth and agree. But they get 99% of it wrong. And when I say something about my own sisters, I get corrected and told it’s wrong about them.

Updates

1 y

We just got home from visiting my niece and she’s the most beautiful thing!

My stepdad is now being an arsehole and snobbing the hell out of me, because according to them, I have no right to meet my niece without my step family there. I think he’ll have a blow up about it but oh well. It sucks that he’s trying to ruin a special moment for our family but we’re not going to let it interfere.

[OlderAndWiser]

When divorced people who already have children get married, "blending" the family can be difficult and is often a source of conflict. In some families, the opposite problem occurs: one parent treats their step-children as if they are second class citizens. It sounds as if your tep-dad is simply trying too hard to make sure that his children are treated "equally" but the perception from you is that he still ends up favoring his own children.

Have you discussed this with your mom?

[Graci_e]

Okay so what happens is that my mum includes my step sisters in everything. They’re never excluded.
My brother and I completely excluded from everything. They just went on a big shopping trip this weekend and my brother and I didn’t get to go. It’s really hurtful.

So my mum decided she wanted visiting our niece to be a special thing for us, so chose to have us visit once my step sisters had gone to their mums house for the week.

I get the whole including thing, but they become very intrusive about it. They completely disagreed my relationship with my sisters and it’s very frustrating and hurtful.

My step family have only seen my sisters a handful of times and act like they know my sisters better than we do. They tell me they’re my sisters favourites, they’ll be my nieces favourites and act like my sisters like them more and so will my nieces. I do a good job of ignoring it. My sisters also aren’t the biggest fans of my step sisters because of their poor attitude.

My stepdad acts like he knows my sisters better than me and if I say something about them, he tells me it’s completely untrue and acts like he knows them so much better.

My step family are 100% included in everything. My brother and get excluded out of so much so my mum just wanted this to be a special thing for us without my step family purposely ruining it.

[Graci_e]

It really upsets me because I feel like my relationship with my sisters is completely disregarded by people who have only seen my sisters a handful of times

I was really excited about my niece and I said to my stepdad ‘my sisters must have felt this excited when I was born!’. He told me they wouldn’t have been because they were too young to understand so they couldn’t have possibly been excited. They were 12 and 10 years old. My eldest sister was there for my whole birth.

[DavidRaul]

That must really suck. But why would you be so scared to meet her. Just show them your bitch face and they will leave the room. You all should step up for yourself really. I don't know what your stepfamily wants to lrove by doing this to your side of the family

[DavidRaul]

*prove

[JohnK123]

Wow that sucks
mt family is similar but not that bad… it’s more like within each side as opposed to one side hating the other… thats terrible
and I didn’t know u had a 14 y/o bro haha

[Graci_e]

Yeah I do have a brother

It kinda has me in years right now cause I just want to see my sister and meet my niece. And if I can’t because of them, that’s so unfair.

[JohnK123]

Ya it really is unfair. I’m really sorry that’s happening to u….

[Graci_e]

I’ve been pretty excited all day and I called my mum to see when she’ll be home to pick me up and she basically said there’s a chance we won’t be able to see her today because she may not be able to get around my step family…

[JohnK123]

Aw man 😔

[Graci_e]

That’s okay. The midwife said that only immediate family should see the baby if that for the first months or so. My step family definitely sees themselves as immediate family and I find it very odd.

[JohnK123]

Yeah

[Mynameisbobby]

Forget about them she's your sister and you have every right to go see her and your neice. If they don't like it that's on them not you. You shouldn't have to sneak around just to see your own sister and neice

[Tstrbrainer]

So your step family is trying to get included in your family's lives, but they are crossing the line which is not right

[Graci_e]

The thing is we include them in absolutely everything. My brother and I are the ones that get excluded all the time.

[IsoUser]

I wouldn't touch this minefield with a twenty foot Pole, No offence meant to you personally. It's just that every human being and family members are different

[crmoore]

No, I can understand the frustration. Especially about the part where you feel inhibited from seeing your blood-relatives.

[TheMajesticKing777]

I need clarification, what is the problem with you meeting your sisters baby tho?

[Graci_e]

Well the midwife said only immediate family members should meet the baby within the first month so parents and baby can bond properly.

And these are mine and my brothers sisters so we should be able to meet the baby before them. Because the baby’s my brother and I’s niece and these our siblings. My mums trying to be fair to us.

immediate

Also my sister is trying to recover from labour and my niece is trying to adjust to this new big world and my stepsisters are quite loud and over the top. So they could be a bit of a disturbance.

There’s multiple reasons. My step family will meet the baby in a few weeks.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Either ways the baby will know because if the baby sees them more then it's going to know who the parents are eventually, either ways the baby won't know who is who unless they teach it to them by saying the words around them, I think babies by instinct have a connection to teh mother and well the father will always be next to her, I think they are thinking way too much about it, so y'all can't just wait a month?

[Graci_e]

No bonding is very important, even if they know who their mum and dad is eventually. Bonding is crucial for the first little bit and highly recommend. The midwives, nurses, doctors and experts all say so.

We’re immediate family so because my sister wants to see us, it’s okay for us to see her and her baby.

My question was about my step family and how controlling and intrusive they are about my older sisters.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Well there's nothing you can really do about it, if people wanna bug then they are gonna bug, but if they have no say in the situation then they don't, people can be controlling, the best thing to do in such situations is take control of your ropes and eventually they will have no choice but to just control their own

[TheMajesticKing777]

I hope that made sense I'm running on zero sleep and caffeine, my brain Is number than an elephants ass on the darts, it seems you got it under control tho

[Graci_e]

No that’s okay! Yeah my mum definitely has everything under control, it’s just still really upsetting because I feel like my relationship with my sisters is completely disregarded.

I’ve known my sisters for 16 years, we’ve lived in the same household our whole lives and we’re very close. They’re my best friends.

My step family makes it out like I barely know them and that I’m not close to them. They act like they know my sisters better.

My step sisters have told me thousands of times that they’re my sisters favourites, they’ll be my nieces favourites and my sisters like them more and so will my nieces. They act like they’re better than me and completely ignore the fact that these are my big sisters. It’s hurtful. My stepdad does the exact same thing and acts like he knows them so much more, and tells me anything I say about them is completely untrue and makes out like he knows them so much better than me.

They have only seen my sisters are handful of times. My sisters aren’t the biggest fans of my step sisters because of their poor attitude and the way they treat me sometimes.

My step family acts like they have more of a right to meet my nieces than my brother and I do.

My mum includes my step family in anything. Yet my step family excludes my brother and I from EVERYTHING. Even on purpose sometimes. My step sisters went on a big shopping trip this weekend and my brother and I didn’t get to go and got nothing.

My mum took my brother and I to meet my niece at once my step sisters went back to their mums. She did this because she wanted it to be a special thing for us considering how much we get excluded from. She also didn’t want my step family taking control and excluding us from our own family and niece.

[Graci_e]

I hope you get some sleep and feel better soon

[TheMajesticKing777]

Thank but don't stress it, I'm gucci, at least your mother is aware of the situation to a certain extend and she did the right thing, and weither they accept it or not, your sister are your sisters, it's the truth that they are your sisters, no matter what they try to do, it won't change and your sisters see you as their sister so whatever they are thinking is only in their head and they can't change the truth, you should just connect with your sisters how you can and keep contact with them, you are related and there's nothing they can do about it, I'm glad you got to see the baby and my best wishes for you and your fam, don't lose sleep over it, unless they have a time machine and start manipulating with time, they can't change how you are related with you family lol

[WhitneySnow]

I totally agree with you

[exitseven]

It really is not like the Brady Bunch is it?

[enocheli]

sounds like a mess

[Celticwolf78]

No it's not right that they are controlling