What are some things that you wish you had growing up?

[Youryeodongsaeng]

I wish I had a normal family growing up. Heck, a family that has a healthy relationship between members. A family that supports each other and goes to each other when needed. Respects each other. No type of abuse, negligence and gaslighting. I don't want a perfect family, just an ideal family. I understand that every family has their own flaws.

I also wish that I had at least one best friend growing up. I did have a best friend, but she had to leave my hometown because her mother died, and her aunt had custody over her.

Since I am touch starved, I would love it if I had received physical love. Along with that, I wish I was showered in every form of love, physical, mental and so on, as long as they give good benefits and won't lower my self-esteem.

Updates

1 y

I've found out why my little sister acts the way she does. I was asking me and her therapist, and they told me that she has OOD. So, she may love me, but doesn't know how to.
The symptoms for that, blaming others for situations that was caused by the liar. Lying impulsivly and not regretting what they said. Starts fights for no reason, and the list may go on.

[FunkyMonkee]

A LOT of money, friends, better siblings and parents. Mostly, it was dad that I wasn't thrilled with! ALWAYS picking on me and screaming his head off for LITTLE shit and blaming ME for the shit my ex-sisters were doing or for not cleaning up THEIR messes!!

[Youryeodongsaeng]

Being the oldest, age 6 or 7, I was mostly blamed for the things that the stepdad's ignorance fails to understand that my toddler siblings can manage to do. And when his stuff goes missing, he blamed me without hesitation. I've been verbally abused by him ever since I was 5. Maybe even 4.

I did have a better stepdad than the current one. My first stepdad still cared for me even after he found out that I wasn't his biological kid. Sadly, he passed away when I was 3. During the months, maybe a year before his death, my mom went back with her middle school sweetheart, who just got out of prison, who later became my current stepdad. I wish my first stepdad was still alive. My mom didn't even need to be with him. All she had to do was (if he was still alive) let me live with the man. Getting from his sister (who I still see as my aunt, regardless of if we aren't related), he was a good man.

[FunkyMonkee]

Same here, hun! When I was little, I was his "A number 1 son" (he took that from Charlie Chan). Somewhere around the age of 5 or 6, I became his A number 1 target!! NOTHING I did was EVER good enough for him no matter HOW HARD I tried to please him!! He was always pissed that I was never around to help when there was a household project he wanted to do. Why would I want to be around him in that situation when I was ALWAYS gonna get yelled at?
One of my ex-sisters would be watching t. v., I'm in the kitchen or living room doing homework or playing with records or toys. She gets up and walks out the door leaving the lights and t. v. on and the front door wide open! Guess who get blamed for that? And I get it again because, even though it WAS her that did it, I, being the eldest, should've gone in and cleaned up after her!! HOW THE HELL DID I EVEN KNOW she did any of that? I'm in the other room doing other stuff not paying ANY attention to her!! And, besides, if he can teach ME how to shut off the lights and t. v. and close the door, WHY CAN'T HE TEACH HER? NOOOOO, CAN'T do THAT!! SHE'S the little princess!! Well, now, BOTH of his little princess have SEVERELY fucked over me AND him & mom!! And, WHO stuck by him and mom all these decades? ME!!! As grandma predicted, I carried BOTH of them in their last months!! Mom, literally!!
Sorry to hear about your shitty second step-dad AND the loss of the good one!!

[Ironic_Method]

I'm also in the wishing they had a family group. Abusive father and negligent mother... no idea how to deal with my wife's family gatherings because it's foreign and uncomfortable.

[SenseiSeptred]

Think of what you didn't have growing up, see if your wife's relatives have it somehow, someway. Better yet, concoct in your own mind the image of what you didn't have, act upon it.

[ohsheeT]

I can hear and feel your every word I've been there the only thing I can say is I wanted the same thing so I made it happen well I didn't I became the black sheep I became the person that would show them how they were acting was wrong I thought them shut the fuck up

Who gives a shit what you think.. you act like a did you get treated like one I move out when I was almost 17 anytime that I've ran into any part of my family mom step dad brother or sister and uncle's cousins my answer uncles and cousins were cool my love is cool I said that my brother and sister they were just they thought they were all that in the more they could put you down to make themselves look better and happier they were if I saw any of them any place if they started any crap I said see you goodbye got to go we'll wait come back no I got to go until the next time I ever see them if we had a family function the moment the bull crap will start I would walk out the door I wouldn't even say goodbye I don't know how many years I did that and then one day we had to get together and it was a confront Steve to get together LOL they asked me why I believe without saying why they would ask me why when they were talking to me I was just turn around and walk away and that's it because your assholes I don't want to hear your stories about who does what who doesn't do this or that what an a****** this person is what an a****** this person is I said I don't want to hear any of your crap that's my choice so I figured someday you would get it you'll understand it I guess today is that day well it is artisan if you start talking your crap that you're better than anybody else I'm walking away I don't want to hear it I don't need to hear it because you're not better than anybody else it's quite the opposite if you think about it if you're honest with yourself my brother was the first one to come around I can't see you hung out with me a lot of times because you like doing the same things I did my sister's cuz it's still the same person as a matter of fact she has a son now and he kind of does the same thing too so all I can say is you can wish anything you want you can try and make it happen or you can just think about it like this they are who they are it's their loss that they have to be that way because if you want to be happy in this world you have to be a giver of self you have to be kind you have to have a beautiful heart and you have to look at everybody and understand who they are and not judge them just let them be who they are we just don't hang around them if we don't like them

[Anonymous]

I had all that a loving awesome dog A best friend a loving mom and A sister we bonded and a good dad and then one day my good Nice dad decided to abandon me left me for a pussy he didn’t even Stay with me very long after he met her he just decided after a Night of drinking that she was his soul mate and abandoned me within a few days life only got worse after that now my dog is dead my loving mom is dead my sister might as well be dead she isn’t a good person and my dad is still alive but he’s so blindly in Love that he turned evil he doesn’t give a shit about me he only cares about that pussy he married and the food that pussy makes I could die tomorrow and my dad wouldn’t attend the funeral he turned into a evil man and even started abusing me when he was married with that pussy the man I knew as my dad was a good guy but falling in love with that pussy morphed him into something dark and sinister he would with his new brother would push me
Up against the wall and try to force alcohol down my throat I Look for my dad some days when I’m out in public because I wanna talk to him and tell him how he made me feel and how he is such a shitty person I want to Punch my dad repeatedly and tell him you did that to me how does it fucking feel to be punched repeatedly over and over again and I want him to cry 😭 like I did when him and his New brother would repeatedly hit me and when my dad went upstairs knowing his new brother was going to Shoot me with a taser gun hearing me cry 😭 and say dad please don’t let him shoot me why are you doing this to me it Hurts dad please stop and watching him leave to go upstairs and me having to stand Still while his new brother Shoots me with the taser gun it taser gun shot me but I was wearing a Shirt that it didn’t go through so I only felt a small shock and that was it his new brother didn’t try to shoot me again.

[Anonymous]

Looking back, I think my parents had a lot of issues from their own respective childhoods that they never resolved or even really engaged. And I think they took those issues out on me and my siblings. They weren't abusive, but they overreacted to a lot of things and didn't tolerate questions. I don't think they communicated with each other very well at all, they weren't very rational or logical (my dad in particular, and it also didn't help that he traveled a ton when I was younger), were inconsistent, and I get the sense that my dad was very passive with my mom. At least that's how it was with me.

[Youryeodongsaeng]

My mom and her husband dated back in middle school. The dude never finished middle school because he went to juvy, then prison. He didn't get out until he was in his 20's. Ananlyzing their marriage, they are not made for each other. They would argue because the guy acts like a damn child and mom keeps scolding him. The guy has anger issues and does not stop to think. He also doesn't know how to speak to children.

[Moose304]

When I look back I had a great childhood. We did not have a lot of money, but I did not know we were poor when I was 5. Being poor established a work ethic that I still have to this day. Funny thing though, I never went to bed hungry and I always had clothes and shoes. More importantly, I had parents that loved me! I would NOT trade my childhood with Eliza Fletcher's for anything!

[Anonymous]

An adequate and non abusive non toxic family, that aren't broke losers blaming others for their own failures. They could work as a stripper or a money launderer for all i care about or Even be in a same sex/trans/multi/interracial marriage, so long its a functional loving family, not a toxic or abusive environment i would grow up in with almost no food on top of that.

And money. The kind of money that i can outright buy a Bugatti. In this life those with the riches are usually the winners. Money however is something i would have to make happen myself either way.

[Youryeodongsaeng]

For all of my life, I have been moving from house to house every year. It's very tiring. I remember making a wish at this little wish-maker thing that you drop a penny down the hole and make a wish. This was in a mall. Then, later on, before I went to bed, I prayed to god, asked him if he could give my mother the money so we could buy the stuff that we want. We have the money, it's just house renting has went up and STAMPS has been cut short. I ended up losing 10lbs for having lack of food.

[Opinion Owner]

Its tough with the way the economy is at these times. Nearly our Survival is being contested. Oklahoma for example has homeless doctors and IT workers. They are not ready to expend 3000 grand for an apartment-studio

[AviatorTom]

My sister was 8 years older than me so I was essentially an only child. It would have been nice to have a brother (or even a sister) closer in age to me, someone I could play with and share things with. There's a lot of pressure on an "only child".

[Youryeodongsaeng]

I have been that way before, despite me having three siblings. When I was younger, I would always stay over at my aunt's because I hated my stepdad. Both of my aunt's daughters are adults, so i basically had no-one to play with. I have never thought about my siblings because I just didn't. All I had wanted, was happiness and paradise for myself.

[petitedollbabee]

I wish my dads side of the family weren’t low life, gossiping narcissists who have nothing better to do than put others down to make themselves feel better about their sad little lives. It would’ve been nice having two healthy, positive sides of my family growing up but I guess one good side of the family is better than no side.

[Youryeodongsaeng]

Yeah, I believe it is better. I had a good stepdad who died when I was three. I don't remember much about him, but after my biological dad came to pick me up so I could spend the summer with him, I thought my dad was dead, turns out, the dead dad wasn't even my real dad. My auntie was shocked as well. Speaking of auntie, I mean my dead stepdad's sister. I still see their side of the family as my family as well. Let's call him Tony.
Alfonso, my biological dad, his side of the family... I hardly know any of them. The only two who smiled at me and welcomed me, was his sister and brother. We don't talk much, but his brother lives in my hometown and I see him from time to time. He's the uncle who jokes a bit.
My mom's side of the family is a huge mess. Half of them are hypocrites, half of them has actual sense. Unlike my mom's side and Tony's side, mom's side swears a whole lot to the point where all of their young ass kid children are bad as hell and swears like grown ass adults. Tony's side, they swear, but are very mindful of their little children. Their children aren't bad as hell either. Another difference, mom's side, most of them, are broke as hell, while Tony's side are respectful Christians and financially stable. I am grateful altogether, though.

[TacosRAwesome]

- parents that didn't give me trauma with regards to the opposite sex. So I had a minor crush on the first non family male I associated with and my family made such a big deal about it that I now don't admit if I fancy someone.

- a social life.

[Youryeodongsaeng]

My stepdad made me reluctant to even greet the opposite sex. He's the male who always yelled at me and made me feel bad about myself. He also gave me the vibe that all males are scary. I was in three relationships with three different males, one the same age as me, the second one was two years older than me, while the other was two years older than me as well. I was so uncomfortable in those relationships. I didn't know how to be a girlfriend either and I kinda didn't want to be one. I agreed to be their girlfriend because I was scared of saying no.
Now, I am still a bit uncomfortable around the opposite sex, though not as much. I can have a conversation with males now.

[Lucy68]

A normal loving family. I somewhat came from a broken home and my dad was barely in my life growing up. I wish I came from a less dysfunctional family growing up and wish my family was more happy and sweet and less depressing

[MCheetah]

Same here.

[Blackcosmo]

I wish my parents understood me more and were a bit more considerate of my feelings since I'm very sensitive.

[Youryeodongsaeng]

Growing up, I had to deal with my stepdad's verbal abuse. For those years, I've been told negative things about me, coming from his mouth and my bullies to the point where I am actually convinced that I am those negative adjectives and affirmatives. It's bad to the point where if someone gave me a positive affirmative, it won't register to me.
I'm not sensitive to the point where I cry or start to do self-harm, I can become sensitive, but in the end, I always manage to turn away from them.

[Blackcosmo]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. It sure sucks.

[TransAm85]

A father and a more compassionate mother. But u can't choose ur family 😕 U can just be who u think is best.

[Youryeodongsaeng]

I agree with that. Though, what is a family when they don't like family? Some parents don't need to be called parents. Some family members don't need to be called family. I see that, since you were born in a family, you didn't choose to be in that family, but you are.

[Jltakk]

A neurotypical brain. So much wrong socially that could have been averted or discovered had I been mentally aware of any of it. I had amazing parents and the best siblings a guy could ask for, all of the faults are of my own making if that makes sense.

Only other thing is a girlfriend just to have experienced it. But I wasn't and still aren't mature mentally for one, so it was probably for the best

[spg12212122]

I wish I had more water because whenever I asked I was told to get it yourself. I was six.

[Youryeodongsaeng]

It makes no sense. Growing up, when I was 3, whenever I wanted milk, I would go into the kitchen to pour me another serving. I would spill just a bit.
When I was around 5 or 6, whenever I would get a little scratch that showed my skin a bit or just have a small injury, I would ask for bandaids. Whenever I asked, the husband would always growls in frustration and told me that it wasn't serious. Then the one time where it was serious, I received that same frustrated/angry growl.

[spg12212122]

That sounds like how I used to walk without being held by my hand walked till I was sleepy. But you sound like your very independent and at that age we are all dependants and its not fair.

[Pinay_ako]

The only thing I wanted to change in my childhood was, I wished I had more time with my grandparents on both sides. I never even met my dad’s dad. 😔. Everything else was perfect!

[242plusInfinity]

What was it like?

[Pinay_ako]

@242plusInfinity which one

[MCheetah]

Loving parents, a caring family, normal puberty and height growth (not Precocious Puberty and stuck at 180 cm like a woman), and good memories.

[menina]

I know exactly how you feel. I also wish I had a normal family and that I was able to grow up in my country.

[FilmGuy93]

Present parents, emotional support, a stable homelife.

[KrakenAttackin]

Yeah, I wish I had some guidance growing up and mentorship as a young adult.

[Youryeodongsaeng]

Growing up with having to go to mental health appointments as a kid and is still getting help from one of their sources, makes me wish that everyone should get guidance. My mom doesn't know how to be a mom because hers died when she was 12. I mean, that's no excuse, but still.

[dustybiker]

Land was a biggie. Space to run, roam and breathe.

[TroyDT]

My parents. I loved my grandparents, but they were rather old so it was friends' parents who taught me to play sports and took me to games and the such.