How can I help my friend cope with losing two of her triplets?

[ChicanaChick]

She and her boyfriend were expecting triplets; two girls and a boy. The good news is their baby boy is healthy and getting bigger. The bad news is the girls (the boy's twins sisters) didn't make it.

It's been 6 months but yes she's still grieving and is dealing with depression as a result. She's trying to be strong for their remaining baby boy but she's sad (so is the boyfriend) too. Both her and the guy became atheists as a result. They don't even want to hear the word God. Is there a way I can help her?

Updates

1 y

Nothing wrong with atheism. I'm an atheist too (but not because of tragedy, out of personal choice). Anyway I feel bad seeing her that way and wish I could help her get through her grieve in any way possible.

[abc3643]

No.
They need to heal as best they can in their own way.

How old were the girls when they died?
Were they stillborn?

[ChicanaChick]

One died a couple hours later and the next the following day.

[ChicanaChick]

They're trying their hardest and best to remain strong for their remaining boy.

[abc3643]

So, I want to be clear.
The first girl died "a couple hours" after birth and then the second girl died the next day?

[ChicanaChick]

yes exactly

[abc3643]

At least they didn't really have much time to bond; the babies had no personality that they can remember. I hate saying this and I am not trying to be cold, but these deaths will eventually become respected historical events more than a profound emotional loss because there was no significant history or bond between the children and parents.

They will be fine in the long run - especially if they get married and raise the boy as a married couple and then have additional kids.

[Sixgunsound]

I’m assuming it’s not their fault, so I know it’s not much but at least there’s that.

[ChicanaChick]

Nope it wasn't their fault. All their children were born premature, a C-section had to be done and only the boy survived (barely).

[Sixgunsound]

Thanks for MHO

[Anonymous]

you can't. she needs more help than you can try to offer. i do hope she's getting professional help.

[ChicanaChick]

I hope so too. They are trying their best to remain strong for their boy.

[Thatbaldguy]

Grieving father here. If they haven’t found it yet direct them to a website called “the compassionate friends” there they can find resources. Local group therapy chapters, etc. also there are Facebook groups by the compassionate friends as well. They are exclusive to stillbirth, infant, child loss, etc. there are many groups for many situations. So for this has been the only real place to get help that i have found as it is from others who have been where they are in a sense. Hope this helps.

[ChicanaChick]

Thank you. I'll inform her about this. She's very depressed at this moment and their boy is all they got. They're trying hard to remain strong for him.