Parents (or hypothetically if you had kids) would you let your kids go to or host a multi gender sleep over?

[Anonymous]

So the question is pretty self explanatory. If you would let your son (s) or daughter (s) have or go to a sleep over with both boys and girls.

Now. I suppose this could depend on many things. Such as the age of the children. If you know their parents and everyone they’re staying the night with. If you trusted your child or teen.

Obviously I understand I don’t know how comfortable I would feel if I had kids. I wouldn’t want them being assaulted and I wouldn’t want them having sex or anything inappropriate.

But if I trusted them. The parents and the other kids. I MIGHT be okay with it. If it was at my house. There would be serious supervision and I would need to know who was staying and their parents.

I would not even let a child or teen into my home who I did not know well.

Yeah I don’t care

No never

Maybe depending

I don’t know

I wouldn’t. But I would not judge what another parent does

I would. But I also understand why some wouldn’t

Just let me see the results

[SnowedIn]

I would host such an event and I'd let my kids go to one. I understand and respect the concerns that others might have. However, our kids are going to have sex once theyve set their mind to it. No, I'm not advocating that I'd host a sleepover so that a bunch of kids can have sex. But, I think it's silly to prevent kids from the fun of a sleepover, movie marathon, etc., because we're concerned about sex. I want them to make safe, informed decisions, but segregating by gender doesn't do a great job of that. I also think that if we want boys and girls to grow up into men and women who don't just see other people as people to have sex with, then we have to teach them what that looks like and give them opportunities to experience that. There's the component, too, of those who are bi or gay. Regardless of whether you agree with that or not, sex will happen in that situation as well, so a same sex sleepover isn't necessarily preventative.

We have to trust our kids and teach them what is safe and a good decision rather than just prohibiting activities or locking them away until they're 18.

[Asker]

You have to teach them right from wrong. If they don’t listen and end up facing the consequences as adults. Then that’s on them.

It needs to be supervised for sure. But if I could trust my kids. I would be fine. If I didn’t this is another story.

Teaching kids sex after marriage. STD’s. Pregnancies. Things like this and not to do that stucff. Then fuck around and have it happen. I told you so HA!

[Asker]

No I’m kidding I wouldn’t be that harsh. But many parents don’t have any discipline with their children. Don’t teach them right from wrong. Then wonder why they do things.

Sure some parents do everything right and their kids make their own choices. That’s not on the parents at that point. They tried.

[Asker]

But. I would want to reach my children morals and right from wrong.

[Asker]

Sorry to reply so much. Thank for your answer.

It depends on trust. I think some parents who have good kids are way too harsh on them. While other times I think parents let their children do what they want and just….

Hopefully I would be able to trust my children. Though. Nobody would be at my house that I didn’t know and my kids wouldn’t be at someone’s house they didn’t know.

If it was younger children. I would not be too worried about them having sex though

[SnowedIn]

All of your replies are fantastic. And, you're right. It comes down to trust and what you teach them. We've found that we teach our kids what we believe are the right things to do and not to do. Let them no there are very few absolutes. What to do when you do make a mistake. Celebrate the wins and the hewing to the good stuff. Not judging just helping through the stuff that's less optimal. Encouraging. We trust at an age appropriate level until they break that trust and then we guide them to work to earn that trust back.

There comes a point at which they're old enough that they're going to do what they're going to do. So, as a parent I'd rather be in the place where they're making smart choices and doing whatever the activity is safely than me just saying "no" and they do it anyway.

[Asker]

You’re right. I absolutely believe in discipline too. If a child does something wrong and you’re a parent. You have to do something. Otherwise they will just keep doing it.

But yes. They need to be raised right. But also understand NO means no and if you intentionally do what I said no to. Then there’s gonna be consequences. You’re gonna break my trust and you won’t be allowed to do X, Y, or Z anymore.

[Asker]

But also forgiveness. Some parents hold stuff over their kids heads or keep them in a constant state of humiliation. This isn’t right either.

A child whose done something wrong should feel ashamed. Gilty. Embarrassed. Even humiliated if it’s serious enough. But not forever.

In fact. Those feelings are good feelings. Because it teachers you not to engage in the sort of conduct that led to that moment again

[SnowedIn]

Thanks for mho!

[Guy13]

Not in this life sense there are only two sexes and gender is a made-up social construct.

[Asker]

Yes I know. What I meant was both genders. No I’m not some idiot who thinks there is 38939292 genders. Just 2 sometimes intersex. But that’s rare anyways.

[Guy13]

Gotcha... I am such a stick in the mud that I wouldn't have girls there. They have BJ rings in 9th-10th grades these days... The "sexual revolution" and media bombardment is undermining childhood.

[Asker]

Call me a idiot. What is a BJ ring?

[Asker]

If I thought they were going to have sex. It would be a no for sure.

[EmmaMary]

@Guy13

Other than it being a piece of jewellery, I'm intrigued to know what a BJ ring is?

[Asker]

@EmmaMary yeah me too

[EmmaMary]

@Guy13

Would you please do us the commom courtesy in at least making a reply... Thank you.

[Guy13]

Let's say even when I was high school and especially Frat, there were rooms in the Frat home like there were in split level of one of my high school friends as boy. 10th grade was the first time I learned what a BJ was. As one "moves up" into University it is more prevalent plus there are even... anyway !! Just like we university soccer guys had groupies and guys are not shy to discuss shower Junk... make references, "pencil penis'..."Jumbalia".-And girls want to know... From there too BJ rings too.

[EmmaMary]

@Guy13

Thank you so much for the most comprehensive comment.

This is certainly not something I ever recall from my uni days, so can only assume that this is some American way of life.

I'm still none the wiser what a BJ ring is, and I guess I never will.

[Guy13]

@EmmaMary It is a bunch of girls that will compete and blow guys. It is not uncommon from 9th grade upward... it sort of becomes your friend group for some It may not be such the "thing" these days...

[Asker]

Ohhhh…. That’s gross.

[EmmaMary]

@Guy13

Interesting... Personally it's not something I experienced in uni... Mind you that was some ten years ago, so indeed times might well have changed.

[Asker]

@EmmaMary maybe you just had good morals.

[EmmaMary]

@Asker

Seems like I must have.

[Guy13]

Because there was movie night or "gaming group" does not mean i participated in it... not even in university. Boring 9-12th same girlfriend. Freshman through graduate school Sandra Bullock look-a-like blew up around engagement time... I'm pretty damn boring BUT I know what's going on.-Hence, mixed sex get together etc... not in this lifetime unless that area is camera wired and I have video access.-That's about what the kids understand these days.

[Asker]

@EmmaMary yeah. This is definitely a parenting problem if this sort of thing is this widespread as well as a cultural and societal problem.

See. Things go from. Sex only after marriage. To sex if you really love someone. To sex after the 3rd date. To have sex with whoever.

[Asker]

Well seems like you have morals too Guy

[Apple1996]

I'd be fine with it

[josephinelcajon]

In my early teens I hosted a few with friends I knew very well. Us guys had circle jerks during sleep overs but a friend who was a girl found out and wanted to join us. Some of us gay some straight. We masturbated a few oral. It was mostly sexual exploring. We did not have anal or vaginal sex why? I really don't know. We all felt safe with each other, and we all learned from it. My mom was fully aware before during and after. If she was not ok we would have found a way to do it. This comfort of knowing she was home and fully Ok with it was also great to us. We all left fully sexually satisfied everyone had fun and we all learned many things about ourselves and each other. If I had kids I would fully support them. That all being said with the idea you raised them very open minded and had the talk with them provided protection and knowledge from birth.

[Asker]

I’m definitely not bi or want to watch another dude play with himself. Nor would I want my kid doing that.

The ONLY way I would let my children sleep over is if I felt safe and there was no sexual contact

[Dinosaursandanime65]

If they know what it means to get funky and are aware that offspring are overrated then probably

[MCheetah]

B. No f*ckin' way!