What should I say to end a friendship with someone?

Question

I’ve posted here many times throughout the year about a particular toxic friend of mine. I’ve gotten many great responses and I put them into practice and with time I realised that it’s best I end the friendship.

I was thinking of saying something around the lines of, “this friendship isn’t working out well because I’ve always felt disrespected and when I tried to let you know, my efforts have been unsuccessful. This friendship is one sided, you talk and I listen and that’s what it is. You also never respected my boundaries. For these reasons I can’t continue this friendship. I won’t be able to be myself around you nor feel comfortable.”

Pretty lengthy but I’ll be doing this in person so It’ll be something around those lines. What do you all think?

Pudsmucker · Accepted Answer

Maybe not in your friendship. But separate for a cool down. Maybe you've been seeing your friend too much. I separated myself from my best friend in college about 47 years ago. I went into the military and was on my last tour before I retired I was talking to my counselor about my post-traumatic stress. She suggested that I renew my old friend s or make new acquaintances. So I chose to renew my old acquaintance. It has been 15 years since we renewed our friendship. Just recently started having problems with his marriage. He's a professional musician and is always on the road. He helped me through my hard times it is now my turn to help him through his. We all have struggles we also need sounding boards and that's what best friends are for. Sometimes we abuse our friendship. My suggestion is take a cool down time. You may need your best friend.

Manuel2 · Accepted Answer

With a girl say by or I am very busy and I will call you later.
With a boy, say your penis is no longer reaching the rigbt spots. I i am busy masterbating and when I am done, i will not call you again.
Then block them on all social network. Or just call the police and claim they ate sexually haressing me.

Kori1236 · Accepted Answer

If I have a toxic friend I personally don’t give them a reason I just distance myself from them. There’s one I have, we’re still friends sort of but not best friends like we were in highschool. And in this case it’s not all her fault, we both have personalities that conflict and it’s just not a conductive friendship. I took a step back, set up some massive boundaries with her and we seem better for it now. After reestablishing contact she still irks me but not as bad as she once did.

If you were to give this person an explanation you could use that; you have conflicting personalities and you find it difficult to cope with the stress the friendship brings to your life, so as a result you’d like to take a step back. And then from there just distance yourself until they become someone you used to know.

Guccigabbana18 · Accepted Answer

The example you gave looks like a mature and good way of ending it. It's difficult with toxic people though, because usually they won't accept responsibility that they may have hurt you or for what they did that caused you to want to end the friendship. It may (likely) end in an argument where they won't fight fair.

As someone else rightly said, keep it short but sweet. No attacks or accusations, just say you don't want to continue the friendship because it isn't healthy and go no contact afterwards.

melanieeeB · Answer

I would keep it short, especially with a toxic friend i made the experience that they will start arguing and guilt tripping you, so I would keep it short, just saying "sorry this won't work out, I don't wanna be friends anymore, cause I don't feel comfortable" and when they start arguing just keep repeating and leave and block them everywhere.

ShellyB · Answer

Maybe this is just me but, why say anything? Just stop doing stuff together and have minimum polite conversations, you can still officially be friends and just not be around each other v. much. I don't feel like saying why will really help or solve anything although what you wrote out looks good if you did want to say something.

boredgal · Answer

I think that's the right thing to say. It doesn't sound rude at all you are just stating facts and how you really feel about your friendship. Some would just cut people off and I think this is way better than cutting off someone without an explanation. Good luck :)

Anonymous · Answer

Don't give explanations just go away from he/him. Delete his number. Delete him from all your social media and said goodbye mentally. Do it for yourself Can u help me?

nawtee_me · Answer

I think that you make a good friend since you want to take the time to explain it to them. A lot of people wouldn't do that, they would either ghost them or ignore them all together. That says a lot about you. It is a shame they don't see that in you or they would have changed to keep the friendship. I wish you luck in all that you do.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

That won't work. Might as well write that on a card and then recite it in front of her.. I doubt you have the brass to even confront the bitch but if you do, remember all of the shitty things she's done and use that pent up anger to tell her to go fuck herself!

Bethany22 · Answer

Why would you want to permanently burn bridges? What if she may turn out to be useful in the future? Just stop calling her, and if she says she wants to get together, keep telling her you're busy

EmmaMary · Answer

As he doesn't do the listening you need to try and keep it as short as possible... And if he simply butt's in, you keep talking over him... Good Luck. 🤞

Belgie · Answer

I think toxic assholes never listen so your explanation is pointless. Just cut her out like a fucking cancer.

petitedollbabee · Answer

Just be straight to the point. “I don’t want to be friends anymore because etc etc, but I wish you the best.”

FootfetishistBoy · Answer

In my opinion, being 'not available' will eventually weaken the relationship. But its really hard to cut off friends. You dont want to hurt their feelings.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Do you think this person deserves an explanation?

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Why do you need to say anything?  says drama to me.

Immie85 · Answer

Short and sweet but honest and firm in your stance. Don’t get drawn into an argument.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Just be clear and draw the line; “hey, I don’t think we should be friends anymore because x, y, and z.”

art84 · Answer

Just stop talking to them and they will get the hint. Unless you have to see that person every single day. Just tell them you don't want to be friends.

Avicenna · Answer

Explain why and don't give her a chance to get you to change your mind

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I hate you!! I don't ever wanna hear from you again!! Fuck off!!

AsaKyo · Answer

Don't say anything and just drift apart with time

ZenJen444 · Answer

She was never your friend , so what is there to end? Block her and move on. It's really not that hard to do.

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