Long story made short, I was adopted by an older couple when I turned 11. I was very handsome as a kid. All the girls would hit on me and tell me how cute I was. “You’re going to be a heart breaker when you grow up.” Girls would leave me love notes. What ended up happening to me was my foster mother ended up raping me repeatedly. I would wake up paralyzed and she would say things like “just learn to enjoy it.” I just accepted it because I was paralyzed and I couldn’t move. She would molest me. She would lick my face. She did all kinds of things to me. Over and over again. She was disgusting. She had holes in her face that she tried to cover up with a lot of obvious makeup. It looked like cake with white powder. It took so long to escape her but I eventually did. It took long because I couldn’t ever tell anybody what was going on out of embarrassment and fear of ever having a normal family life. Who would now want me as a traumatized child? I never told anybody about this but this led me to never getting adopted again due to depression. I was now an ugly kid. I got skinny. I couldn’t eat. I stopped getting those compliments from girls.
This couple paid for my university. They paid for my first car. Her husband knew what was going on. They are doing all these things for me money wise with no contact because they feel bad for me. They knew what they did to me. I am still the same mess. I still don’t take care of myself but I’m really smart. I graduated university without even trying. I don’t even try to date because I have no family to even show. Who would even want just a guy by himself with no family at all? They say you’re supposed to forgive your enemies. I have heard of stories where the victims did this and it helped them to move on. I don’t know what else to do. Telling on her isn’t an option because I promised to let it go under the conditions she paid for my university and sent me back to foster care. I made this deal with her when I was 11.
It’s been over 10 years but she is still inside my head. Should I forgive her in order to move on?
Thats tough. Go to therapy. Look into reprogramming your mind through affirmations to teach yourself how to think & feel healthy thoughts about yourself. I was molested as a child too. It's been 19 years and I'm still healing. I highly recommend therapy. Keep in mind, finding the right therapist may take some time so just be patient.
You made the deal as a child, not an adult. Children should not be held to those types of promises as they are not developed enough to process or understand what is being said. You owe them nothing. Them paying for those things doesn't make you owe them. Honestly it was the least they could do. My advice is to stop accepting their money, it's a connection to them. Break all connections and contact. If she was willing to do that to you as a child, she's willing to do it to other children. Especially if she's still a foster parent. If she's still fostering kids, please report her so that she can't do it to other children. The safety of other children is more important than your promise.
I’m so sorry that happened to you! It made me sad to read this.
Don’t worry about lack of family causing problems with dating. That’s not something that people look for in a partner. If anything, that’s a bonus. Haven’t you heard so many horror stories about in-laws?
Shit happens, bud. The important thing is to look forward, not back.
You're not half as smart as you think you are. But your main problem is you just don't appreciate what you've got, let alone know how to use it. You got arrogant about your "looks" until a bitch took you for a ride and showed you just how far looks alone takes you.
Now you're doing the same thing with your mind. You are going to end up in a fucked up abusive relationship unless you change.
Break the deal you made when you were 11 and hold this sick fucking bitch accountable. I don’t know what the path to forgiveness is, but maybe when she gets her just desserts that will make it easier
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I can’t. She has much more money than me. Her husband is wealthy
Damn…I wish I had better advice for you. All I can say is that she was truly evil, but if you believe in karma, maybe you can forgive her, because trust me, she will suffer for her actions…I feel sorry for the torment that lies in her future, that poor stupid animal…you are so much greater than her, don’t even waste anymore time hating her, she’s barely human
