Am I walking bank now? What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Before I get into this I'll let you know that I have worked hard my whole life. I have never Relied on a man financially. About 5 years ago I was in a really bad car crash. I almost had my foot amputated I've had a couple Of surgeries and I've suffered for a very long time. I was hit by a guy running from the police. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I got a large Settlement. Enough to pay off my house. With some leftover. I have 2 disabilities now a physical disability and My existing Severe learning difficulties So this money is to last me my entire life working part time. I offered to help my boyfriend pay off his credit card so he Could Begin to save for our future Since now we don't have a mortgage payment. Now his brother apparently messed up and got his car impounded. But my boyfriend said he wants to help him out. So he's asking me for money to help him out. If it's a couple 100 OK sure just because he has 4 kids. And it's been very hard for them to get by. But I can't justify a couple thousand... His brother has made some very poor choices in life that led him to where he is today. When they have extra money they spend it on weed and cigarettes when him and his girlfriend should be spending it on their kids. He's been to jail, done drugs. Just a lot of bad choices. His girlfriend dosnt work. My boyfriend got him a good job but it's far from his house now he has his car impounded for speeding. Am I being selfish? On one hand I feel like I should. On the other hand I feel like now I'm a walking bank machine. I can hardly spend 300 dollers on my self...
I offered before to pay for a couple months rent for them on a new place. Where we live. Its close to his work. He can car pool with my boyfriend every day. Its walking distance to a school. And a lovely area. Their place is full of mold and should be knocked down. Sketchy area. But they refuse because they want their 4 kids to have their own room.

[Changiis07]

Nope you are not being selfish, he has made poor choices and the more you guys try to help the more he will find it okay to keep being reckless. He needs to hit rock bottom and to wake up and work for it just like everyone else. It's your money and he is not your brother plus it's tough love

[Asker]

I agree what's what I was thinking. He's not my brother i have only met his brother in person a handful of times. my sisters wouldn't even ask me for money. I do really care about his kids though. That's why I don't mind spending a bit on them getting them clothes. Food. Or toys or offering to pay for a few months rent to get the kids out of that awful house their living in. The kids did nothing wrong, they were just born into the situation. But it's hard to justify helping someone who isn't willing to help themselves

[loveslongnails]

The answer is "NO". You need every penny to make sure you can survive. He made his bed, now he needs to figure out what to do. Sounds like you've given him enough already.

[Asker]

I agree what's what I was thinking. He's not my brother i have only met his brother in person a handful of times. my sisters wouldn't even ask me for money. I do really care about his kids though. That's why I don't mind spending a bit on them getting them clothes. Food. Or toys or offering to pay for a few months rent to get out of their living situation

[loveslongnails]

And he'll use your love for the kids as leverage, from the sounds of it.

[Asker]

Your right. You are 100% right

[loveslongnails]

So - are you going to put your foot down and tell him "As much as I love those kids, they're you're responsibility. I'm not giving you any more money."?

[Asker]

I'm putting my foot down an saying no. As hard as it's going to be to say no. But your 1000% right it's not my responsibility to help him. My hair's said before I can't help somebody who doesn't want to help themselves. And I know il never get that money back either. If they don't pay their bills on time. Or spend extra money they do have irresponsibly.

[Asker]

I have***** sorry spell check

[loveslongnails]

No worries. You're doing the right thing for all involved, but it's sad for the kids.

[KrakenAttackin]

They will suck you dry if you let them. Find a financial advisor and work out a plan to provide steady income for you.

[Anonymous]

Give them nothing

Probably ditch the guy just to be safe