He stopped talking to me when he got a girlfriend. why?

[Anonymous]

so I met this guy almost a year ago. we had been really close friends until he suddenly gets a girlfriend. he hadn't told me about the girl and I was happy for him of course, but then he just stopped talking to me and I really don't know why.

he had told me earlier that he had feelings for me and sometimes he texted something like "come cuddle with me, I'm lonely" or "you're a doll, I wish you were mine". I really liked the guy but only as a friend and I told him that.

I've spoken him once on skype since he started dating this girl. he wanted to see me so I put my cam on and he said something like "you're the prettiest girl in the world." I answered "what about your girlfriend?" and he said "you are way cuter than her. nobody's cuter than you." they had been together for several months when this happened. gahhh this is so confusing and I don't know why he's acting like that. should I just like, leave him alone?

[NightSparks]

My immediate answer to your main question would probably be this: Significant others are a massive time-suck. Suddenly, that free time you had has turned into time with them. I've been left out to dry when my friends got boyfriends and girlfriends and what-have-you.

However, there's a bigger issue here. It sounds like even though he has a girlfriend, he still feels close to you, and possibly wants to be with you. No matter how you frame it, this is not a good situation. I'm glad you told him you liked him only as a friend. It's not wise, however you truly feel about him, to tread into that territory. It sounds as though his girlfriend is in for a rift in their relationship.

I don't think this is uncommon, though. My boyfriend tells me I'm the only relationship he's had where he hasn't been crushing on anyone else at the same time. For now, remain friends with him, and if he brings up the fact that you're cute (etc.), tell him you're uncomfortable with where the conversation is going, or that it might hurt his girlfriend's feelings. But do try to remain friends. It always hurts to drift apart.

[italykam]

It's weird that he told you that after being with her. That is not right at all. And if you don't have feelings for him, then he shouldn't be saying that anyways. But sometimes when people date, they cannot talk to their good friends of the opposite gender anymore, because they are "forbidden" to. It is rather unfortunate, but if he is gonna be like that, then you should try to not talk to him, unless he talks to you. Maybe he can explain better.

[sweet_18]

He got a girlfriend. Lol. He is now focused on her. You are no longer the #1 girl in his life, despite him saying those things. Why? Because she is giving him what you could not.

Trust me, this has happened to me so many times. It's the just way people are.

[Anonymous]

This is what happens when people get into relationships--they have less time for their friends. And especially less time for their opposite gender friends.

It's why the whole notion of "I don't know if I want to make a move because I don't want to risk ruining our friendship," is SUCH a load of crap. Because, as you've seen, there isn't much time for a friendship left once one of the two people starts having sex with someone else.

[Milesdavis2998]

Could be a lot of things, but these are my top two guesses.

1. He's focusing all of his attention on her and avoiding you is the best way not to hurt your feelings because of everything he's told you.

2. She wants him to disconnect all or most female friends he has because of jealousy.

Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

Are you stupid?

This guy has a girlfriend and you truly believe him when he says you're cuter than her? Even if he did mean it, you're seriously considering a guy who will have a girlfriend and be totally inconsiderate of her feelings by telling some other female that she's the cutest?! Don't be a bimbo!

If he really wanted you all that bad, he would have chosen you, not her.

[Asker]

umm I never said I believed him and I just want to be his friend, not his girlfriend. wow calm down..

[Opinion Owner]

why do you want to be his friend? he seems like a jerk. the nature of your 'relationship' seemed like it was a situation where it was all about hooking up or potentially becoming bf/gf, not a friendship because if it was a genuine friendship, then it shouldn't have changed like that when he got a gf

[Asker]

he's like a big brother to me, I don't want to lose one of my closest friends. and I don't think he has those kind of feelings for me anymore because he has a girlfriend. and I know he has been really busy this summer because he plays baseball and stuff. but still.. maybe I just need to forget him.

[Opinion Owner]

ok