Did anyone here become estranged from their parents and if so why?

[Anonymous]

I did because they sent me to a psychiatric hospital as a teen and ever since then the trauma of the experience has stuck with me. The feeling of hopelessness and powerless has literally become a part of me. For years I just pretended everything was OK with them while I tried to drown my feelings in alcohol drinking so much that I wound up throwing up at least once a week. When I eventually developed healthier coping skills I could definitely tell something wasn't right. and I was unable to carry out many day to day activities. I saw the doctor and it turns out that the excess drinking caused permeant damage (neuropathy and cirrhosis). It has destroyed my quality of life and often times I wonder what's the point of carrying on dreading the next day knowing that it's just going to be another day I'll have to deal with this trauma. I go to bed hoping that the next day I don't wake up.

4 years ago, I finally opened up to my parents when they invited me to come home for a family gathering. I told them I didn't want to come and they kept pestering me about it so I finally snapped and told hem everything. I said "remember when I begged not to go there and you said 'it's for you're own good' and 'we're only doing this because we love and wants what's best for you'? Well FUCK YOU!!!" Then my mom cried a river of crocodile tears and said "We were afraid of something happening to you and didn't know what else to do to help" and I replied "I didn't need help. I needed space and I needed time; was that really too much to ask for".

That was the last time I spoke to them.

[PraviteliNahuiValite]

I can imagine, that the experience as a teen wasn't the first trauma you ever received, and it makes sense that those parents who can do wrong to you when you're a teen probably were shitty at parenting when back when you were an infant as well. And those times when you didn't form memories can program you deeper and harder to undo than the experiences when you were half adult already, they barely shaped who you are compared to very early childhood.

Yes I believe I might have experienced even more pain than you have thanks to my parents even though I only got really drunk just once and always cared about health, it's a different subcategory of pain.

I would suggest that... you know how some people drink and never get their organs fucked up from it? Yes, alcohol is toxic, but maybe part of the reason why your health deteriorated is the trauma itself. It's very well known that emotional pain can create physical illnesses that aren't only incurable by physical medicine, but it also doesn't make sense, for why would anyone want to be healthy physically if their emotions are still fucked up?

Possibly your liver will heal together with the traumas which happens a lot, maybe another medicine would be needed, either way you are not alone.

[richardcory]

I'm so sorry to hear that, and I think it justifies how you feel. But at the same time, at least consider why they did it. Did they think they were helping? Were you doing things they thought were putting you in danger - even if you thought they were safe?

This topic is very close to me now. A friend just put their teenage child in a psychiatric unit, they think for the child's protection. There is nothing I can do about it, but it bothers me deeply

[Asker]

Well at least now you can tell them what they can expect down the road.

[NotTacocaT6969]

I warned my father that his new girlfriend was a bad person.


He ignored me and chose her over his own kids.


I gave him a second chance when I was 25. I even tried to give her a second chance.


Again, I saw her using and abusing him and desperately tried to get him to see that.


She began forcing him to yell at me for any little thing she could think of. For example, she made him yell at me for not saying “thank you” loud enough on Christmas.


I left and told him “as soon as you’ve given her enough money to buy a better house, she’s going to leave you and take all of your stuff with her.”


My youngest brother called me last week crying…. it happened.


Everything I warned that man about for the last 16 years was all true.


He threw his own daughter in the trash for a succubus.


I will never be able to look him in the eyes again unless he admits that.

[Capricornunicorn92]

I became estranged from my father because he beat my mom up and cheated on her.

[In_Trance]

No I didn't