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I was friends with someone for 9 years. The first 4 years I didn't know I was codependent, a people-pleaser, and afraid of conflict. I idolized her and didn't realize it until around the 4th year. I began seeing her behavior as she truly acted.
Slowly I began speaking up for myself but was relieved with excuses, manipulation and gaslighting, so I would drop it or apologize. I remained friends with her for another 5 years trying to be heard when issues arose but was shut down.
About two years ago, I stopped being friends with her. I was going out of town and she wanted me to talk about my issues but it wasn't the right time for me. She kept messaging me via texts and then whatsapp. I ignored her.
Fast forward to today, I saw she sent a heart emoji via pinterest direct message.
I don't know why she sent it. She gave nothing else.
Do you think she's trying to reach out? Would you ignore it?
I didn't respond but the curious side of me wants to know what's up. But I'd also rather keep my peace
What as your experience with former friends reaching out?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
It's understandable to feel curious about why a former friend is reaching out, especially if there was a significant history between you two. However, it's important to remember the reasons why the friendship ended in the first place and if there were any unresolved issues or negative patterns in the relationship.
If you feel like reconnecting with this person could potentially bring up past hurt or negative experiences, it's okay to prioritize your own peace and not respond. On the other hand, if you feel open to hearing what they have to say and are willing to potentially work through any issues, you could consider responding and starting a dialogue. Ultimately, the decision is up to you and what you feel is best for your well-being.
I was best friends with someone since Grade 8. They had mental health issues and depression and I stuck by him. Later, I needed a place to live and he let me couch surf for a year. Then he started to achieve a modicum of fame & met and married his second wife, a lovely woman, and had a child. We grew apart and I realized how totally self-absorbed he was in his own life and never asked how I was doing. That's when I stopped calling him. He never called me. It's 10 years since we spoke and we live in the same city.
Id ignore it.