How Do I Let Go Of A Friendship?

I've been friends with this guy for a long time now. He has always been there for me and I've tried to be there for him as well (im not the best person when it comes to that)

I've been in school 5 hours away from him so we don't see each other much and on the seldom times I do go home, I don't hang out with him. We used to text every week but now it feels forced.

He met someone back home and I am happy for him. And I mean it truthfully. I am jealous, naturally because I've liked him for so long but,, I've learned to support him and be happy for him since he deserves that. I'm not letting go of this friendship because of that.

I've hurt him a lot of times in the past yet he is still a constant in my life. Its because of me hurting him that I want to break it off. I dont want to hurt him again and I have tried breaking it off silently, without telling him (unadding him in the middle of the night only for him to immediately add me back asking whats wrong).

I just don't know what to do because he's been my only real friend and I dont want to throw it away. But I also don't want to keep hurting him.

Anonymous

(25-29)

It sounds like you care deeply about your friend and are struggling with conflicting emotions about the friendship. It's understandable that you want to let go of the friendship to avoid hurting him again. However, before taking any drastic steps, it might be helpful to reflect on why you've hurt him in the past and what you can do differently going forward.

If you want to salvage the friendship, you could consider having an open and honest conversation with him about your concerns. It's important to take responsibility for your past behavior and apologize for any pain you've caused him. You can express your desire to be a better friend and ask for his support and feedback.

On the other hand, if you feel like the friendship has run its course and it's time to move on, it's okay to let go. It's natural for friendships to change and evolve over time, especially when distance and other life changes are involved. You can still cherish the memories and experiences you've shared and wish him well in his future endeavors.

Remember that it's okay to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health. You deserve to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, and it's okay to let go of friendships that no longer serve that purpose.

Hulk_kitty

1 y
great advice, I can't really add to this. I will be surprised if someone can beats this.

Reply
Asker

1 y
We have had conversations about how I've hurt him, one that resulted me to almost take my life (althoigh that was caused by multiple people, not him) and he was attentive to that. He blames himself for hurting me even tho I'm the one that keeps hurting him.

Reply
Hulk_kitty

1 y
Look QA if you really want to save your friendship and save yourself at the same time, why don't you seek professional on these issues.
I don't think you have to keep him hurting him, you can chose to forgive him or to continue the resentment towards him.
I think you are focusing to much about hurting him, rather than trying improve the relationship with friend. Don't making excuses for your bad behaviour. You only keep hurting him, because he is so forgiving and allows it, why don't you take responsibility for actions, and just stop hurting him, that simple. You are responsible for your life and your actions. Just looking at taking the easy road of ending the friendship, cause you can't control actions.

Reply
Hulk_kitty

1 y

better version,
Look QA if you really want to save your friendship and save yourself at the same time, why don't you seek professional on these issues.
I don't think you have to keep him hurting him, you can chose to forgive him or to continue the resentment towards him.
I think you are focusing to much about hurting him, rather than trying improve the relationship with your friend. stop making excuses for your bad behaviour. You only keep hurting him, because he is so forgiving and allows it, why don't you take responsibility for your actions, and just stop hurting him, that simple. You are responsible for your life and your actions. you are just looking at taking the easy road of ending the friendship, cause you can't control your actions.

Reply
Hulk_kitty

New 1 y
we all have the power chose, we have power to chose to kill someone or not, you chose to steal from a shop or not, you can to exercise, keep ourselves healthy, you can chose to love over hate etc,

YOUR LIFE EQUALS YOUR CHOICES,. BAD CHOICES EQUAL BAD LIFE, GOOD CHOICES EQUALS GOOD AND HAPPY LIFE.

Reply
Asker

New 1 y
Im not hurting him on purpose, this is all accidental and im not making excuses. I've been honest with him and he values that. I am trying to improve it within these next weeks and maybe later tonight and I want us to talk in person. I respect your opinions nonetheless

Reply
Hulk_kitty

New 1 y
OK Good for you, I am not trying to be horrible to you, more trying to kick you up the ass to do better.

Reply
Asker

New 1 y
Yeah I understand, thank you!

Reply
Hulk_kitty

New 1 y
ok no worries

Reply

What Girls & Guys Said

Opinion

Anonymous
(25-29)

1 y

It sounds like you care deeply about your friend and are struggling with conflicting emotions about the friendship. It's understandable that you want to let go of the friendship to avoid hurting him again. However, before taking any drastic steps, it might be helpful to reflect on why you've hurt him in the past and what you can do differently going forward.

If you want to salvage the friendship, you could consider having an open and honest conversation with him about your concerns. It's important to take responsibility for your past behavior and apologize for any pain you've caused him. You can express your desire to be a better friend and ask for his support and feedback.

On the other hand, if you feel like the friendship has run its course and it's time to move on, it's okay to let go. It's natural for friendships to change and evolve over time, especially when distance and other life changes are involved. You can still cherish the memories and experiences you've shared and wish him well in his future endeavors.

Remember that it's okay to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health. You deserve to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, and it's okay to let go of friendships that no longer serve that purpose.

1

9 Reply
- Hulk_kitty
  
  1 y
  great advice, I can't really add to this. I will be surprised if someone can beats this.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  We have had conversations about how I've hurt him, one that resulted me to almost take my life (althoigh that was caused by multiple people, not him) and he was attentive to that. He blames himself for hurting me even tho I'm the one that keeps hurting him.
  
- Hulk_kitty
  
  1 y
  Look QA if you really want to save your friendship and save yourself at the same time, why don't you seek professional on these issues.
  I don't think you have to keep him hurting him, you can chose to forgive him or to continue the resentment towards him.
  I think you are focusing to much about hurting him, rather than trying improve the relationship with friend. Don't making excuses for your bad behaviour. You only keep hurting him, because he is so forgiving and allows it, why don't you take responsibility for actions, and just stop hurting him, that simple. You are responsible for your life and your actions. Just looking at taking the easy road of ending the friendship, cause you can't control actions.
  
- Hulk_kitty
  
  1 y
  
  better version,
  Look QA if you really want to save your friendship and save yourself at the same time, why don't you seek professional on these issues.
  I don't think you have to keep him hurting him, you can chose to forgive him or to continue the resentment towards him.
  I think you are focusing to much about hurting him, rather than trying improve the relationship with your friend. stop making excuses for your bad behaviour. You only keep hurting him, because he is so forgiving and allows it, why don't you take responsibility for your actions, and just stop hurting him, that simple. You are responsible for your life and your actions. you are just looking at taking the easy road of ending the friendship, cause you can't control your actions.
  
- Hulk_kitty
  
  New 1 y
  we all have the power chose, we have power to chose to kill someone or not, you chose to steal from a shop or not, you can to exercise, keep ourselves healthy, you can chose to love over hate etc,
  
  YOUR LIFE EQUALS YOUR CHOICES,. BAD CHOICES EQUAL BAD LIFE, GOOD CHOICES EQUALS GOOD AND HAPPY LIFE.
  
- Asker
  
  New 1 y
  Im not hurting him on purpose, this is all accidental and im not making excuses. I've been honest with him and he values that. I am trying to improve it within these next weeks and maybe later tonight and I want us to talk in person. I respect your opinions nonetheless
  
- Hulk_kitty
  
  New 1 y
  OK Good for you, I am not trying to be horrible to you, more trying to kick you up the ass to do better.
  
- Asker
  
  New 1 y
  Yeah I understand, thank you!
  
- Hulk_kitty
  
  New 1 y
  ok no worries
  
Hulk_kitty Follow
Xper 6 Age: 42 , mho 65%

1 y

watch this video for first 5 minutes, the power of choice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pGcpdHr9og&t=757s

0

1 Reply
- Hulk_kitty
  
  1 y
  i watch it a lot, truly inspiring.

How Do I Let Go Of A Friendship?

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