My step child is driving me crazy what should I do?

[Anonymous]

Well, i never expected to become a step-parent. When I met my partner, I fell in love with him and his child came as a package deal. At first, everything seemed fine. My stepchild was cute and well-behaved. But, as time went on, I began to notice that she was starting to drive me crazy.

She is always asking for attention. She interrupts conversations, demands to be entertained, and constantly whines. I find myself feeling frustrated and exhausted by her constant neediness. It's like she has no sense of boundaries or respect for my personal space.

Believe me, I tried to be patient and understanding at first. I reminded myself that she was just a kid and that it was my responsibility as a step-parent to be there for her. But as time went on, my patience wore thin you know. I found myself snapping at her and feeling resentful of her constant demands. So, do you have any advice for me? She 13 by the way.

[Anonymous]

Start with a conversation with your partner addressing this issue and ask if he's noticed it too. If he's clueless, you'll need to point it out to him privately after it happens again and see if he's on your side in that it's becoming or can become a problem. If he's not on your side, it's a situation you'll have to address with the child regardless as long as you can keep a lid on the idea that "you're still the guardian present," regardless if she pulls the, you're not her mother card.

If there is a chance she does need some POSITIVE attention, make her a promise that you guys can hang out and do something she really likes to do together each week, but it's conditional on her learning along the way not to interrupt your conversations and learning that there are other methods to handling her frustration other than whining and give her the tools she needs to handle those emotions she has.

Nothing is going to happen overnight, so don't expect miracles. You'll have to keep at this and be consistent with how you handle these behaviors when they arise and hopefully get your partner on board as well. Good luck to you.

[Walt832]

That is what I am afraid of. I am glad I avoid all cost on her relationship signs.

Okay, when we were young in our 21-23. We will hang out sooooo much alone. As friends only. After going out, I decided to make the move. I asked her out, she rejected. She hooked me up with a friend didn't last at all 4-5 months.

My close friend she was in relationship. I lost communication.

After years pass by 2016 open landscape business.

In 2021 the pandemic, she contacted me how's everything. She brings up she single, my face 😜😁 to "i have a child" 🫷🙄😑. Decided to hangout again. I know over time we become more adults and mentality has changed. I mean we are open except the part relationship instead she gives signs. I ignore them and move along. I treat her like a friend push her to see another man. Until, she asked me if she looks ugly? Cuz she has set conversations with single mans. They drop her. I don't tell her might hurt her feelings I know why, due to a child.

Best way, a male or female that has a child, both have a child. Single man or female with no child. Have different mentality, either one wants to be exclusive to one and another. A child in between will be a blockage. That is one early stress that isn't your child.

I know is hurtful but no choice. Unless, he or she willing but remember step parents will face those consequences. Your child you must understand and must talk to your kid to give respect. Otherwise, your date or boyfriend/girlfriend will unplugged 🔌 the relationship. The least i want to do is hurt child feelings.

At this time what is best to do is sit down with your man or girlfriend express what you feel, suggest and ask for their opinion. Hopefully, is positive outcome. If not at least was brought up, let them know to be aware and make your step. Lesson learned.

[StormChaser838]

You have to understand this is a bargain you made yourself. Also you have to understand she now thinks she has to share her dad with you. Also I don't know the situation but seeing you and her dad together, at the back of her mind, her loyalty may be making her think that you have stolen her mother's rightful place. Lastly, you must remember, initially you were new to the child but now reality has set in.

So these are the dynamics you have to contend with on face value, there may be a million more you may know and a trillion more you may not know. If your feeling overwhelmed, don't,,,,, keep it simple. 13 by itself is a difficult time.

Start by trying to talk to her, heart to heart, tell her I can never replace your mother but I will love you no less. You can start by being her friend. You'll have a commonality, you'll both love the same man. Stress on the difference of love angle you'll both come from, and communicate to her that you as the daughter will always be first to your dad, ( that's the biological order of things, children come first) , and you will always be second. Next that I will love you, always, as my child. All such things. If you are genuine you should have no problem,, and also have the persistence for the time it may take. Always remember, if you think this man is worth it, then the effort is worth it. This is your life and your lot now. God bless you, if you make an honest effort you will succeed.

[MORPHEUS_12]

Unfortunately, once you get to a certain age you discover that almost everyone has crotch gobblins. I have been with the same person for over 30 years and we do not have kids. A man would have to move the Earth to make me want to consider him if he has yard apes.

[Anonymous]

So, this can be quite typical, especially if she's been more sheltered growing up. She needs to increase her socialisation outside the family, which can be hard in the modern age with a drop in general morality standards amoung the general public (meaning safety is always a real concern, which is why so many children are growing up more needy, coupled with the moronic government decision to keep everyone at home for over 2-3 years causing a raft of psycological issues in everyone).

My advice is organising some kind of saf eactivity where she has pelenty of peers around. So you only see her between times, she will still be wanting to connect to you espcially as your now her fathers primary interest. That should aid you.

However, what you can also do is establish strong ground rules (though you will need her fathers support in that). It is preferable if you agree with him some signal your "at your limit" you can indicate and he can say "hey leave alone already you're pestering her now". Then you can politely say, your Dad's right, I love you very much but I need a bit of peace, talk to me later". That way it doesn't become about 'you' but about a respect thing for you and your partner. Best of luck. There isn't a magic bullet here, but hopefully those ideas may assist.

[crossdressingrihno]

Look at it from the kids point of view for a moment.


Get to know the kid and what she thinks/feels.
You’re dealing with a human being in the most confusing time of her life and you just stepped into her house and took her daddy away.
It’s not your fault obviously but you need to understand her. I’m not saying get know her from your eyes or the eyes of her father but get to know her from her own eyes.


She’s s teenager and her needs be a bit much but if you take the time to know her one on one and show her respect I’m sure you’ll get through to her and things will eventually work out.


I’m this relationship ship with her dad you will need her and she will need you. I know stressful and easier said than done but when you get to the end goal it will be well worth it.




I wish you the best.

[Anonymous]

Did she by any chance have daddy all to herself? Then you sauntered in.
She may be feeling usurped and need a lot of attention and reassurance to get back on an even keel.
But she's 13 so quite capable of being manipulative.
You need the patience of a saint because if you get this wrong, it may never recover. And daddy will have little choice.

[TheThingALing]

Part of it is puberty other part is probably your husband not addressing that behavior years ago. If it's an issue, hopefully he sees it too and can step up and reprimanded her and/or give you permission to do the same

[FunkyMonkee]

Fly, next time! It's quicker!
Oh! Instant mommy!
Who's in charge, you or she? YOU'RE the parent!! Start acting like one! At LEAST discuss this shit with your old man and let HIM deal with it as a parent should.

[Justmeagain1]

I think you will need to take a step back and find something called “nacho parenting” google it - worked for me.

[Walt832]

😂. I hear that. Doesn't really feel awkward. 🍯 With your man, then turn around on his child 😂. It is understandable but hell 😂.

Now my question is, when she wants to go out with friends or date and you are the only guardian parent. While your man is working. What is your answer 😂? Cuz do you call your man and tell him, hey your child wants to go out and or go on a date, soooo? Pretty sure he may say, no. You may say, there goes your answer, child.

I don't know in those situations.

😂

[boggboss]

Not really sure what to say this type of stuff comes with having kids in the picture u can try speaking to your partner for help or advice

[TracyF]

Have compassion on the kid. You were that age once too. And remember she doesn't have a real mama in her mind, to her you are an enemy. Just show love and leave that kid alone when she acts up. Tell your man to handle any problems she causes.

[exitseven]

13 is a tough age. You don;t really talk about the custody arrangements. I think it will get better as she gets older.

[Christoff92]

Assuming maybe should ask her about her mother. What kind of love did her mother give her. Maybe should duplicate that same love to her 😊

[Wwwyzzerdd]

Take a parenting class. She’s trying to get you to fill the role of her mother but you don’t know how to fill that role. Take a class.

[Twalli]

You were probably not that much different when you were her age and clearly she doesn't hate you or her father wouldn't have married you.

[CB-Raido-Time]

Either way you knew when you went into that relationship that he had his child and she should always come first.

[gorydetails]

You are a parent, so you need to set boundaries with love.

[OlderAndWiser]

WHY are you asking us instead of your husband?

[Anonymous]

be quiet and take it