Did you know trans people can know very young what their gender is?

[Anonymous]

Just like cis kids! Some don't know or don't care, but many are aware of what their gender is as soon as they're aware of what gender is in general.

The biggest and most reliable sign of if a kid is trans, is whether they claim they are the opposite sex, and insist on it.

Because they are becoming aware of social differences between boys and girls, and know they haven't been put on the correct side. Just like when a cis kid knows when they are mistaken for the wrong gender, and corrects whoever made the mistake.

And it is not because of genitals, because some parents don't even teach their children that boys and girls have different genitals, yet their children can still know their own gender—and tell their parents if their parents call them the wrong one.

How people develop from kids into adults is strange and fascinating, especially the brain. But it seems that development of gender—however that happens—happens very early. And from young child to adult, people are only more aware of their gender if they pay attention to it.

[Anonymous]

Children's brains are not mature or developed enough to know they are "trans", but they definitely have wild imaginations. They love to pretend they're someone or something they onbiously aren't. My neice is a great example. She's obsessed with the movie Tangled and always pretending she is Rapunzel. If someone calls her by her real name she imediately corrects them and reminds them she is Rapunzel. She actually believes it herself. That's how young, immature minds work. But they eventually grow out of it. If we allow a chid who thinks they are the opposite sex to be whoever they want as a child, they will do things and make decisions that could negaytively affect them for the rest of tehir lives. It's a parent's job to protect their children from making bad decisions.

[Asker]

If your niece genuinely believes she is different person and not herself, then she may be disassociating. That's not regular play for kids, that's actually quite serious. It could be a sign of severe stress, a reaction to a traumatic experience, or a symptom of something more permanent that could get much more intense if left untreated. Please suggest to your sibling to ask a child psychologist about their daughter's behavior—if what you say is true. She could really be struggling and not know how to communicate it. I hope it's not too serious and she's able to have a normal happy childhood. ❤

[Opinion Owner]

There's nothing wrong with my neice. She just has a healthy imagination, like most kids. It's perfectly normal child behavior and she'll grow out of it soon enough.

[Asker]

It's normal child behavior to PRETEND to be a someone else. It's not normal child behavior to BELIEVE and INSIST that you actually ARE someone else. When you were a child, did you ever genuinely believe that you were not yourself and that you were someone else? If so, how did you go from being someone else to being yourself again? Did you believe you could consciously choose to literally become a different person again, or did it just happen and you weren't aware of how?

[Opinion Owner]

Of course it's normal, because a child's brain is not even close to being fully developed. That doesn't happen until their early 20s. It's no different than a child thinking they should be the opposite sex. They don't have the cognitive ability, maturity or experience with themselves yet to understand any of that.

[Asker]

When you were a child, did you ever genuinely believe that you were not yourself and that you were someone else? If so, how did you go from being someone else to being yourself again? Did you believe you could consciously choose to literally become a different person again, or did it just happen and you weren't aware of how?

[Opinion Owner]

You're asking questions that a young brain is not capable of understanding.

[Asker]

What, you have no memory of when you were a little kid? Sorry to tell you, having large gaps in your memory like that is also not a good sign and could indicate trauma. Wow, I hope your whole family is mentally okay... Can your sibling remember their childhood either?

[Opinion Owner]

Of course I have memories of when I was a kid, but those things happened when I was a kid, so the memories are obviously through the lens of a child's mind.

I do realize you're just deflecting here, which is fine. We both know the point is that a child's mind is not capable of understanding the future implications of life changing decisions about gender as a child. Common sense stuff, obviously. But when someone is pushing an agenda like you are, common sense and honesty are obviously not the guiding principles.

[Asker]

Perfect so you DO know whether you ever genuinely believed you were a different person and not yourself as a child. So? Did you, or did you not? Because I did not, and neither did ANYONE else I've ever spoken to about childhood—except someone with an actual mental disorder. Which is why I'm so fucking CONCERNED for your niece!

[Asker]

Yes, children can misunderstand how things work sometimes. A son of a single mom may not know boys can be parents, and want to be a girl so that he can be a parent when he's older. That's an actual example of how a normal kids mind might make them question their gender in an obviously silly way, but they think it's serious. And in actual cases like this of a kid thinking they want to be the other gender, there's a very simple solution: education and understanding. If the mom asks "why you wanna br a girl" she will figure out he just doesn't know about fathers, and boom! She can explain to him, and he can learn that becoming a girl isn't the solution to his problem. And that's like, a fucking 5 year old type of thought process too. So you understand that in any case where a kid starts saying they're not the gender they were assigned, the FIRST step is always taking time to evaluate, understand the situation, and see IF they understand what they're saying and why.

[Asker]

It's only when a kid actually DOES understand, that any sort of possible transition would even be discussed. And at that young age, the only real kind of transition would be social. It's not a life changing decision to try on some different clothes and Maybe a hairstyle, and go by a nickname at school. Kids do that all the time. And if they try it and don't like it, obviously they just stop. This isn't about forcing kids, it's about NOT forcing kids. Because actually kids are people, and although they are still young and kinda stupid, they do deserve to be taken seriously when they're being serious. Especially about their physical and mental health. When a kid says their stomach hurts you don't say they're just imagining it—they're a child after all! 5 year Olds don't know what appendicitis is! So it couldn't be that. No. You listen to them, and if they have symptoms you take them to a doctor because them not understanding what something is on an adult level doesn't mean that they can't understand that their stomach fucking hurts.

[Opinion Owner]

I didn't subject myself to those walls of text, but I did pick this out since it underscores your ignorance. "It's only when a kid actually DOES understand". That's the problem... every child THINKS they understand something at every stage of their development, but it's not until they are older, more mature and wiser that they can really understand such weighty subjects as changing genders. At your age your brain isn't even fully developed yet, so I do realize I'm arguing with a child.

Here's a little something to help you on your way...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NM6CFQQY9SA

[boggboss]

Not something I think about to be honest

[provokeesmokee]

Yup!

Studies have found that the concept of gender - including one's own gender - usually starts registering around 4 years of age.

It's why it's so important not to stand in the way of kids who know who they are seeking to transition.

[Anonymous]

So If they figure out that. They probably figure out everything else being young like the effect of alcohol or what to vote for...
What you're telling me rather sounds like your opinion. I've seen boys playing with dolls and none of them later turned came out as trans. There are social differences yes but that's more a question of parental education and less of sexuality.

[Asker]

Liking a "girly" toy is not the same thing at all as believing and insisting you ARE a girl.
And unlike "the effect of alcohol" and "what to vote for," your own gender identity is something inside yourself, that you can know just by reflection. Like, for a much simpler example, knowing you don't like cheese. You don't need to be taught that, you just know it once you have the experience of tasting cheese. Once kids have the experience of interacting with the world in a gendered way (like, basically anywhere bc the world is so heavily gendered) they can start to know what their own gender is based on their own experience in their mind and body. Kids don't interact with politics or alcohol until they are MUCH older, so obviously that's not even on the same level to compare.

[Opinion Owner]

Why not we got adults identifying as adults and that's ok. So why can't children identify as adults. They know deep inside they are as reasonable and responsible as an adult. So they now what to be treated as one. It's not like kids don't get to see adults drinking alcohol from a young age.

[Asker]

How would you identify as an age? Age was made up just to keep track of development. Not to assign maturity. If you act like an immature little baby, your age doesn't go down. If you've always been irresponsible, your age still goes up. Age isn't based on what kind of person you are, what you do, how you feel, or your experiences. It's based on the actions of your parents and any doctors in the room. You can't "identify" that your mom pushed you out 2 minutes faster than she did. That's HER ACTIONS. That has nothing to o with your identity.

[Opinion Owner]

One could age is just biology like genetics but no part of your identity. Your identity is your inner-self not your body. That´s the whole idea of difference of gender and sex. As much as gender isn´t determined by your biology there is already a sexual orientation called adult baby play where adults identity as babies wearing diapers etc. So sooner or later there probably will be children identify as adults.

[Asker]

That's no an identity. That's a behavior choice. Age isn't biological, or we would keep track based on conception—which would still be based on someone ELSES actions. I don't understand how you think your identity has any control over when your parents fucked. Because that's what age is based on if you go by biology instead of birthday. You can't identify as someone who's parents fucked in June, when your parents actually fucked in December. You don't get to tell your parents when theu fucked. That's not within the realm of your identity or your inner self.

[Asker]

You know there is already a diagnosis "arrested development" where people do stop mentally developing at certain ages? But that doesn't affect their age because age isn't about development, biologically or mentally. Age play is about maturity or childlikeness, or behavior regression. Someone who does age play may actually be arrested development at 5 years old. But that doesn't change their age because their age is just when they were born. So yeah I guess you're right, adults can "identify" as kids, if by identify as kids you mean identify as mentally stunted at a kids age. That's perfectly understandable. And kids can "identify" as adults if by that you mean, recognize they experienced trauma that made their brain stop letting them be irresponsible. Yeah, that's fine. That's the difference between age and maturity I guess, just like between sex and gender. But being mature doesn't mean a kid can legally drink, they have to be in Europe to do that.

[Opinion Owner]

I´m in Europe, I´m not American. Here the age to buy beer legally is 16. At age 18 you can buy all the other alcohol there is.

[Asker]

There you go, a 16 year old can drink where you live, but has to wait 5 more years to drink where I live. They can be mature enough to drink, and not be allowed to, bc of age not bc of maturity.

[shortster]

Gender is determined by your DNA. It is the presence of absence of the SRY gene typically found on the Y chromosome.

[Asker]

Sex is determined by your DNA. Your DNA does not determine how you perceive yourself or how you fit in society though.

[BarryLiverstone]

What is your question?

[Asker]

My question was just, did you know this? Many people don't know this, and it has caused some confusion recently.

[BarryLiverstone]

I knew that people feel things at a young age

[Asker]

Not that they feel, but that they understand. Children aren't naturally genderless as some people think they are.

[BarryLiverstone]

What age child are you asking about?

[Asker]

Like, around 5 or so, onward. When they start having a social life yknow? Obviously an infant doesn't understand anything yet lol.

[BarryLiverstone]

At age 5 a child’s understanding is mostly taught by their parents. The parent has the responsibility to protect their child and properly educate them by exposing them in a safe way to the world. You mentioned a 5 year old starts to have a social life; where does this information about gender and the understanding come from?

[Asker]

Yes, that's why social life is important. If a child has been taught by their parents, now they get to see how what they've been taught matches up with how they experience life outside their home, around other kids. As far as gender goes, hopefully it does line up with what they've been taught. But if not, and they recognize this, hopefully they at least feel safe to tell their parents about it so the parents can continue to be the ones to teach and help them understand how they can get along in the world. The "information" about gender just comes from themself.

[BarryLiverstone]

But a good parent who has a daughter will educate her on being a girl and give her rules to follow and appear as a girl in society. Why would the little 5 year old girl tell her parents that she feels like a boy?

[Asker]

Because she does feel like one? That's what I mean when i say kids do have a gender, and they can understand it from an early age. They can recognize when what they've been taught doesn't match up with what they experience. They don't always, but they can.
I know someone who actually that exact situation happened to, but his parents got mad when he told them he was a boy, so he just didn't tell them anymore and pretended to be a girl until he was finally able to move out of their house. Now he lives as a man and has a very shaky relationship with his parents as they still aren't comfortable with his gender being different than what they raised him to be.

[BarryLiverstone]

I can understand why they felt upset that their daughter felt that way. But it also sounds like with tension now there were other issues in the home where she was raised. If she told them at 5 she was a boy that was not something her parents wanted her to experience

[Asker]

Actually he's told me they were very good parents overall. That's why he's still trying to make the relationship work, because they have a good relationship except for this one big thing, and he doesn't want to lose them over it. He just isn't willing to pretend for them anymore.

[BarryLiverstone]

I’m glad that she’s got good parents. That matters. I’m curious, if all her friends are cis when did she learn about even becoming a boy?

[Asker]

He didn't. He just knew he was one. Didn't know why or what to do about it, and couldn't talk to anyone about it because he didn't know who was safe to talk to, and thought he was the only one who had this experience. He just managed as best he could without raising suspicion. Then when he moved out, he started trying to research. Found out there was a name for it, found out there were other people like him, and started learning more healthy ways to manage the dysphoria. He didn't even start living openly as a man until about a year ago, after taking a couple years to think and process everything.

[BarryLiverstone]

I’m going to be honest and say this doesn’t sound like a friend, but sounds like you. And you are still pretending. I could be wrong but I’ve given you an hour to answer your question

[Asker]

Well tbh no he's not a friend, I just thought it was easier to say "someone I know" than "my husband." We've talked a lot about this topic, obviously, but that's not my story no. Mine is a bit more complicated, and he's much more certain in his journey than I am in mine...
And sorry, what question was i supposed to answer? I thought we were just talking now.

[BarryLiverstone]

Feel free to follow me and pm to talk. I was answering your initial question with our exchanges