Should I just take the chance and move out?

[Anonymous]

It seems like in today's economy, it's challenging to find apartments and move out, and I feel like I'll never be able to do so. I'm struggling mentally because I don't want to live with my mom anymore. At 27, I have to share a room with my 13-year-old sister. Overall, I'm a negative person because I really dislike my living situation. My mom also plays favorites, giving breaks and handouts to others, but I don't get any. She pays my other siblings' car insurance and gives them breaks on bills, but here I am still with no car or anything. I would give my last to my mom, even if it leads me to be dead broke and having to start over (even though she gives attitude when I talk about saving). It seems like I can never thrive and be truly happy, but maybe that's impossible. The 25-year-old gets his own room, pays no bills, doesn't clean or cook, while I have to do all of that, along with cleaning up after everyone, taking out the trash, and having no privacy. I feel like I'm going insane. This is only a portion of what I go through. Some days I can suppress it, but other days it's so hard, and I end up being mean to everyone. I don't even have a place to cry. I just don't know what to do. I don't get a damn break financially or mentally. I question if my feelings are invalid or if my situation is 'just that bad,' or if I'm being ungrateful.

[HollyK21]

So sorry to hear this, I was in that position at one point in my early 20s and getting on my feet took a few years, it’s rough out here and nothing is getting cheaper. What I would say is to stop talking about saving with your mom. I know it can be nice to bounce these thoughts off someone but you already know how she will respond and you don’t need to put yourself through unnecessary emotional turmoil. Sock away some cash quietly, get to looking for affordable housing situations, I believe you can speak with someone about that even just for welfare. Find a roommate, and move out. It’s going to be hard, you’ve got to factor in expenses aside from only rent which can already be upward of 1k. You may be like me when I got started, no furniture, few dishes and forgoing a lot of things to make ends meet. But man, to have that solitude and know you put yourself there is so damn rewarding. I could be sitting on the floor in an near-empty apartment and still be proud that I worked my tail off and earned it. You can’t change how your mom acts, just get yourself away from her and in a healthier living situation. Maybe with some space, you two can cultivate a better relationship going forward.

[Asker]

Thank you. I’ve been waiting for a change but the change starts with me. Thank you for the advice and encouragement

[HollyK21]

Very true! Trust me I know it will be hard, but it’s so rewarding. Even just having a little studio is better than feeling how you do in that house, having to share a room when you don’t want to. Wishing you luck❤️

[Anonymous]

I can really relate to you. Everything you described is also what I've been experiencing.

I'm planning on moving out with my little sister but it's going to take a while. I also need to figure out in which country I'm going to live. So I have a lot of work to do and it won't be easy.

@hollyk21 gave you great advice. I agree with her.

You need to find someone else to share an apartment with you. If you have a friend who's willing to do that, then go with them.

At this point, you need to put yourself first and ignore everything else. You'll find your peace, I'm sure.