I'm 36 years old and now husband is 38. We have two kids, our oldest 4 year-old daughter and our 2 year-old son. Even though our marriage has been great and he was changed for the better ever since, the fact that I had to break up long ago still lingers in the back of my mind once in a while.
I met him and started dating him when I was 20 and he was 22. After been living together for long and receiving empty promises after expressing my goals, needs, timeframes and age of when I wanted to have kids (I was ready for kids at age 25), I broke up. I was already 28 (4 months shy of my 29th b-day to be exact) when I left him and no longer felt secure in the relationship. I didn't believe in him nor trusted anything he said. I literally gave up on him and it was a sad break-up, a painful memory I've been trying to forget.
The following month came back knocking on my door to apologize and propose. The wedding was sped up very shortly after my 29th b-day. I had issues getting pregnant though and it took longer than usual; my ovarian count was much lower than usual even for my age. I was already 32 when I had our daughter and 34 with our son. Several of my female relatives had premature menopause. By delaying things in the past, he nearly destroyed my good, fertile years.
I know he has more than made it up for it and it does still hurts from time to time. I'm not hurting as much as at the time but it can sting, esp when I hear stories about how my friends got proposed and neither of them had to break up to get it. I was happy but hurt too when I got his proposal. I accepted it, forgave him too fast and just never spoke about my hurt, which I think we should've gone to counseling at that time. Is it right to still feel hurt over it?
