What are your reasons for not wanting a kid YET?

[DizzyDesii]

I’ve heard some pretty reasonable things like wanting to be financially stable but this one dude just told me “I don’t want kids until I get to go to Disney. I can’t be pushing a stroller my first time trying to get on the teacup ride.” 💀 I’m sorry but i cringed so hard lmao. ain't no kid stopping me from going to a theme park 😆 But i personally feel Disney is for the kids anyways. I might’ve understood if he named something with adult thrill rides like Six Flags or Universal 😂 #FeelFreeToList

Updates

+1 y

I’m sorry if I sound repetitive with the “I hear you. I see. Sounds good. I understand. Makes sense.” Lol i really don’t know how to respond to these. I just wanted to know everyones reasons and now I know so thanks 😂🤷‍♀️

[DJB72]

Ok, I don't usually go through answers before I respond, but I did today.

I was a first time dad at 46. We'd had medical problems so we waited until we were financially stable, healthy and "ready"...

Just like the younger responders here have said...

My son was born in August 2018.

In February 2019 I injured my foot and a doctor in England screwed up. The minor abrasion became an ulcer that got infected. That needed surgery to clean out because after consultation with the pathologist the surgeon prescribed oral treatment instead of the IV treatment required.

By January 2020 it hadn't healed up so we came back to South Africa for treatment. The infection had now progressed into the bone from the soft tissue.

My first admission was cut short because of Covid. My second, in April was for the amputation of a toe in an effort to save the rest of the foot.

My third was to have a short course of antibiotics via IV.

Then that hospital had to close off because of Covid.

The fourth was in June 2020 for a six week course of IV treatment - that the original pathologist in England had said was needed.

Three weeks in I contracted Covid. I spent July, August and September in a coma in ICU, suffered cardiac and respiratory arrest and total renal failure. I was given four hours of CPR to resuscitate me and against the odds survived. Even more against the odds, my kidneys have recovered 40% function - something my renal specialist has told me repeatedly just doesn't happen. He also says I'm the healthiest dead man he's ever seen.

Two weeks after I came out of the coma my right leg below the knee had to be amputated under local anaesthetic and sedation because a general anaesthetic would have been fatal.

I spent another 3 months in rehab learning to walk with a prosthetic leg and control a wheelchair.

I lost my health, savings, financial security in one blow

But I've got my son.

I'll never play soccer with him once he's over about 8 because I can't run.

If you're young and with the person you want to spend your life with, don't wait until you're too old.

Life hits hard. Learn to hit harder.

[DizzyDesii]

I definitely wasn't waiting. Just hasn't happened. Your story is sad but inspiring

[DJB72]

My story isn't finished yet my friend 😊

I'm unstoppable

[Purpleronnie]

I never wanted children , it ended some relationships , I’m sure it was also the cause of others not getting started and I understand and accept that. I honestly don’t know why I didn’t want children , it’s perhaps a combination of reasons. When I think about those reasons , maybe I’m selfish , maybe I think I don’t want that responsibility, maybe I just don’t want more people to be dependent upon me. It’s been commented to me that I’d make a great dad when I’m around kids but I can truly say that the thought brings me no joy whatsoever.

[4ngelic]

- i'm too young (turned 23 not too long ago)

- i'm single rn, and i'll only have kids once i'm married with someone (which would need me to date someone seriously for like at least 4 years before getting married)

- since i've been barely studying or doing shit for the last couple years and just very recently got serious about it, it's going to be a while until i start the true working phase of my life. and to have a baby i need to be at my big girl job and it needs to be stable, and pay me enough to have at least a middle class income on my own

-i'm still too immature to take care of a baby

- a lot of the stuff i like i can't do with a baby, or if i did people would call me an irresponsible mom. like i dont how that would look if i'm always hiring babysitters to go out with friends

- also i never think about kids. like to me that's not for people in my age range to worry about anyways so it's not really in my mind. like if you dont think about it, your less likely to want it soon

- i have this vision (i dont know if it's totally true or not) that having kids for women is for at very least the first years like the death of your social life, excitement in life, education/work, a lot of your hobbies, and that your life is just boring aside from your kids, and litterally all you do ever is take care of your kids. and that it's often not that fun particularely for babies, like you can't sleep well, you always need to clean stuff up, you get pee on you, etc and your relationship can take a dive, so it's scary and off putting (though i do plan on having kids one day though)

[Sirenboobzilla]

Ok, the Disney bit was funny lol.

I don't want kids, although I'll gladly welcome a child in to this world, if it ever happens, with nothing but pure joy and love. However...

I personally feel that I don't need to have children to live a fulfilling life. I like to travel and do new things. It's selfish on my end, sure, but I don't want to be hindered by a child. Not to mention all the worries that come with it.

I was initially waiting until I was done with school, which I am, and a while in to my career. So, who knows. Maybe with some of the extra free time I have it'll happen.

[DizzyDesii]

Good points. I do feel empty without motherhood so im hoping for it. Travel and stuff is just a temporary fix for me

[Xia1994]

Personally, I only want kids with the right kind of man for me. I love kids I think they're amazing and anyone who has them and loves and cares for them well is very lucky and so is their child!.

[DizzyDesii]

Aww yea

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I would sooner stab myself through my uterus than bear a child. Pregnancy horrifies me, and while adopting or fostering is an option it’s likely one I’ll avoid as I know myself well enough to know that who I am now prioritizes myself above all else. I wouldn’t have the drive to find the energy to take care of a child long-term and would end up being fairly neglectful.

[mandyfire98]

I personally believe your child comes first always. You need to give 100 percent of yourself to properly raise a child. Honestly, I don't have 100 percent to dedicate to a child right now. I'm still trying to live my life and enjoy things and go places and spend time with my partners. I don't have anymore attention to give to a child currently. It all goes to someone else already.

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[ShadezMcgee]

The big ones for me involve finances, housing market and inflation, then the fact of raising it. I don't like the fact that my kid will be raised by others a lot during their life a. d being exposed to shit I may not want them to be exposed to because of how impressionable kids are.

[DizzyDesii]

I know you can't keep em cooped up forever but there's always home school

[ShadezMcgee]

Right, and the only one who I would trust to teach them would be my dad since he does have a teaching degree. He would be old as shit when it was all said and done

[Simslover92]

To be financially more stable and to be in the same place. We're currently long distance so having a kid is out of the question right now but I'm hoping both things become less of an issue soon if I come into a good bit of money.

[DizzyDesii]

Hope you get your money and dint switch up. I hoped my dude got his money and he did but then he switched up and found a new excuse

[Simslover92]

Thanks and I definitely won't. And sorry he switched up on you.

[IslaTheWitch]

not good enough personal situation
not good enough financial situation
health problems
mental problems
simply not wanting kids now
fear related to the pregnancy and child birth
fear for the health of the kid and mother
not being ready to be 24/7 for someone else for next X long years
wanting career, house, travel the world, whatever before having kids
and many many others...

[Jessica405]

Several reasons.

First, very poor eysight now

Second, I am a career girl, at least until my vision failed

Third, I do not want to give birth to someone who has to face death later in life.

[DizzyDesii]

Like nearly blind? Otherwise lots of people with poor eyesight have kids and it doesn't always pass down. And as for the third, we all unfortunately have to die someday

[Jessica405]

If the second and third eye ops work as well as the first, I will go back to work. As for the third reason, I agree, we all have to go. But I still don't want to force someone to have to face that.

[DizzyDesii]

Giving life is a beautiful thing. Its not like you're the one taking it away from them

[Jessica405]

It is just my thoughts. As far as I am concerned, my main reasons have never changed. I spent 7 years and huge student loans to get a good career. I will not give that up easily. I love my work.

[MrQun]

I don't want kids, period. I have medical issues and any offspring of mine would inherit some of my problems. And I would not want any child of mine to got through one tenth of the crap that I've been through.

Besides I'm not a fan of children anyway..

[Anonymous]

Honestly I do not ever want children. I've never liked being around children and frankly I don't see why it seems expected to have them.

To my mind having kids puts your life on hold. I would like the complete freedom to do the things I want to do in life. Also well there are ways to many people as it is. There is to much than comes with having kids. And well I don't see having kids as necessary.

And well the world is just getting to be harder and harder to understand and navigate. I wouldn't want to have a child when I struggle enough as it is.

I think this kinda sums up as best as I can word on this one.

[RHK36]

I don't except the older I get the less I want them because I'll feel too old. I've been wanting kids since I took care of my nephew and niece when they were little. I also don't want to have kids with just anyone because that is irresponsible and selfish in my opinion. So I just wait until the right one comes along or I get too old waiting. I'll be content with either option.

[DizzyDesii]

Would you consider adoption

[RHK36]

With the right person, yes.

[Anonymous]

My wealth isn’t that great and haven’t met a man I like enough yet.
Also the world is a tough place. The thought of my child possibly going through some terrible things like cancer, suicidal thoughts, bullying, ending up deformed or an amptee in some kind of crash or cause they contracted an illness scares me.

I know two people who lost their child to suicide. It would upset me so bad if that happened to me.

[Opinion Owner]

My uncle died from cancer at age 35.
I have a cousin that was born partially deaf but they only realized it at the age of 2 when he wasn’t talking.
The manager I work with in a restaurant she is a very nice woman I heard her say once her daughter died from suicide about 20 years ago. It made me feel so sad hearing that. My mothers current partner who I am not biologically related to sister also committed suicide.
It must feel really tough losing a close one to suicide. Nobody happy intentionally kills themself. Only unhappy people commit suicide. The world can be a cruel place and life can be hard.

[DizzyDesii]

Im really sorry to hear this

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks. I never lost a person friend or family member I knew really well to suicide but I know other people who have. I never met my mothers partners sister who commit suicide my mother just told me about it that her boyfriend sister committed suicide. I never met the daughter of the manager I work with at the restaurant as well but she is a very nice woman and hearing that her daughter committed suicide made me feels sad. The thought your child was so unhappy and hated their life must be terrible.

My uncle died before I was born at the age of 35 due to cancer. I never knew him either but his death obviously effected my father badly.
I know my cousin who is partially deaf well. He was picked on at school for being deaf and obviously grew not liking the fact he is deaf. His deafness is not genetic though. The doctors just told him it’s likely the mother just contracted some kind of illness when she was pregnant. Now He has two children that are not deaf.
I have also seen many things on the news in my life about people I have never met before being stabbed, robbed and beaten sometimes by complete strangers and sometimes by people they knew well.

I do not have children but the thought things like this may happen to my child scare me.

[TallAnon]

Finances make sense to me, I'm currently looking for a new job, so let's give it a few weeks before we lose the condom, lol; Besides that, the woman I'm with; If I don't see a future with her.. I'm not planning to get my kids taken away from me and having to pay her for the next 20 years.

[DizzyDesii]

That makes a lot of sense

[Sameone]

1- i didn't find the right women

2- my age i still young

3- i don't have time because i work between 20h to 45h a week

4- financial aim not ready. Because i want to give him everything i didn't get
I don't have stable salary

5- i don't want to stay in Portugal
i still study to be engineering flight on A380. ( I want to work and life in UAE)

6- again i didn't find the right women

[alice55]

Don't want to be fat, I already struggle with losing weigh cause I stay motivated for 2 days every 2 weeks so if I were to get pregnant I would just gain 10 kg in more.

[DizzyDesii]

Get a surrogate

[alice55]

Forbbiden in France and the thoughts make me uncomfortable, I would be ways too jealous. Like if I'm married and I'm getting a surrogate my husband would show attention to her and that would make me jealous and feel like the others woman.

[DizzyDesii]

Ahhhh i see

[whereismyjohnny]

That's hilarious. 😂 My reasons are:

• I'm still too young to have a baby.
• Not having enough finances to raise a child.
• I'm focused on chasing that master's degree and goals.

[DizzyDesii]

Reasons that make sense lol

[RoseySarah]

Not ready in a lot of ways like not child proof or puppy proof

[DizzyDesii]

Haha thats your biggest worry

[RoseySarah]

More emotional and realistic reasons also my sister has to have one first!

[Joshydavid25]

Aw naw, what kinda man wants that bad to go to Disneyland or World? 😂😂..

But, I definitely want kids one day, I just need a more stable financial situation, and... A beautiful wife..

[DizzyDesii]

Exactly disney?

[Joshydavid25]

SMH.. Lmao.. My boy needs to get a grip..

[Dinklex3]

I don’t even have my own life together yet, I can’t care for kids.

I don’t want to experience pregnancy and I don’t want to give birth.

I lowkey don’t even LIKE kids 😅 & I have nieces and nephews that I need to spoil.

[Agape93]

My brain thought that said wanting a kid YETI. Like, who's turning down a baby yeti?

[DizzyDesii]

So you turn down the baby but not the yeti 😆

[Agape93]

Yeah! Selling a baby is a felony, selling a yeti baby is a paycheck!

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao

[laly520]

I want a kid just waiting to get married this year

[DizzyDesii]

Congrats :)

[lilyanony1]

I wasn't in a stable relationship.
I've been having unprotected sex with this guy now for 4 months and not even a scare...

Only time will tell if we will have some babies

[Lochlan]

Opened up front page and my periphery decoded:

What are your reasons for not wanting to YEET a kid?

[DizzyDesii]

What does yeet even mean

[Lochlan]

To throw and bestow upon the artifact/being/object/fauna an enthusiastic velocity that may garner gawking. I think there is definitely a window of speed tied to the word, that it expresses a range. Like the difference between few and several. Throw and YEET.

[mattthefatbat]

I think having kids would be so adorable to see, but I'd much prefer having them when my girlfriend also wants to have kids

[DizzyDesii]

Makes sense

[MemeSupreme]

that dude gotta be joking lol

i don't want kids yet till im better bc i don't wanna fuck em up

[DizzyDesii]

He wasn't joking 😭

[Steelcore5280]

I don't think I have all my ducks lined in a row quite yet and marriage needs to come first before kids. I will not contribute to the culture of single parent homes we have in the USA.

[DizzyDesii]

Did you change your pic or an i confusing you with someone else

[RavVid]

I have to echo that merely changing USA to Australia. It is highly unrealistic to think a marriage will be enduring.

[Steelcore5280]

@DizzyDesii I might have changed my profile photo, I dunno.

[Anonymous]

The only reason is you are stupid. It's the point of life. I had kids late. 27, 30 and one week form 40. Life would be completely meaningless at this point without them. If it wasn't for the whoops baby at 40 I'd have already killed my wife in a murder suicide and left my other two daughters filthy rich raised by their uncles in yucky Democrat hell hole Connecticut

[Pink2000]

I am unmarried.
I dont own a home.
I am not wealthy.

those are my reasons in that order.

[DizzyDesii]

You need to be wealthy? Not just stable?

[Pink2000]

With the way I spend money I need to be wealthy. Lmao.

[DizzyDesii]

Same 😆

[UKguy999]

If you spend uncontrolled no matter how much noney you have. You'll be always poor. So its more about mindset and bad financial knowledge.

Work on that!

[Pink2000]

@UKguy999 I never said that…

[Infinity_Soup]

I'm still in college, and making no money. I've also seen how much it sucks having a kid at a young age so I'd like to wait till I'm in a better spot for them


Also this economy is terrible rn

[MysticDevice]

I don't have the right partner. (As in no partner)

I'm not finacially ready.

And most importantly, not mentally prepared. That's a looooooooot of responsibility.

[DizzyDesii]

Maybe

[MushyKiwi]

Im way too young, but I know I won't have any in the future because kids are super annoying and I'm not patient enough to take care of one

[jennifer_bloom]

I don't mind having kids if I'm married and in a happy relationship that is stable.

[DizzyDesii]

Sounds good

[electromagnetic]

I’m selfish in wanting to travel and enjoy my husband to myself.

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[Likes2drive]

I went to Disney world when I was 12 , why would he wait so long? Funny reason to not have kids yet. I had a house and a decent job when I had my daughters at 33 years old

[DizzyDesii]

Exactly I don't know what he's thinking

[exitseven]

I have had 3 kids already, they are all grown up.

[DizzyDesii]

Thats good

[Berweic]

I'm so young, maybe I can hold my first baby in fifteen years, after all, I have a weakness for babies.

[DizzyDesii]

Lol 15?

[Berweic]

Yes, I said an estimated number.

[DizzyDesii]

Cause 33 kinda up there

[dragoblack]

Financial stability and society is unstable to where raising a kid would be insanely hard, if not causing homeless and starving ones self so the child can survive.

[DizzyDesii]

Mmmm

[Anonymous]

I've never wanted one & being in the same household with kids for years (ages 0-6) makes me realize just how much I value peace & quiet.

[naartjie]

I can’t give them what I want to give them just yet.
I want to give them nothing but the best.

[Phoenix98]

Well for starters I'd need someone to put make em with lol.

[DizzyDesii]

I feel you haha

[Phoenix98]

Yuppers.

[Mark987]

Personally I never thought I was ready. All my friends told me you're never ready until it happens though, that being said I never met someone that I wanted to have one with.

[AlexEfron]

I'm not financially stable yet.

I'm probably not getting married before my 30s, so no kids till then.

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[AlexEfron]

What about you? What are your reasons?

[DizzyDesii]

I’ve always wanted to be a mom and wouldve been okay with it at 18+, so im not trying to avoid the situation

[handsomelad70]

I'm SEVENTY. Assuming I'm physically able to sire a kid, I haven't in my life, so why would I now?

[DizzyDesii]

I hear you

[Wiredone]

I'm done having kids. 2 is enough for us. We're too old to raise anymore kids. I need what little sleep I get

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao

[DreamLife7]

I did want a kid but now I'm second guessing it now that I work with them. They are a lot of responsibility.

[DreamLife7]

Yes , I agree you should be financially stable, have a house, money for day care lined up

[DizzyDesii]

I can't stand other folks kids these days but i still want one. Just not as many as before

[Titanic1912]

I’m not ready to have a kid because I don’t have a home or a wife!

[DizzyDesii]

I get it

[worldscolide]

The wife and i wanted to wait until we were in a better place financially and stable.

[DizzyDesii]

How many kids do you have now

[worldscolide]

none yet, but we are working on it for sure lol

[appleadayisgood]

just have not found the right person yet.

also my dad was not a great father i dont want to be like him

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[DagonbroughtMehere]

The world has more children than it knows what to do with and it isn't ready for My offspring.

I have said all I am going to say about this.

[nawtee_me]

I wouldn’t mind having another one. When I was younger and married I wanted a football team. I settled for two doubles tennis teams…. lol.

[DizzyDesii]

Lol i think its time to play grandpa now

[nawtee_me]

Tell my kids that… my step daughter has a son that I don’t see but maybe once a year. She is 31 and he is 5.

[DizzyDesii]

If im being honest, i wasn't tryna hve my dad involved in my future kids lives either

[nawtee_me]

I can understand that knowing the history there. And her dad was never there for her either so I can see that too. However I was and she still calls me dad. She just lives out of state now.

[Somegirl124]

There are many reasons. I want time for myself, I want to go out when I want and I don’t want the stress of it. But at the moment I also can’t afford it anyway.

[DizzyDesii]

I get it

[Anonymous]

I don't want them EVER

If you discount general planetary overpopulation for a minute

I'm riddled with heath issues so I can't do anything with the kid

[Guanfei]

Well, as a man, it's kinda hard to have a kid alone.

[DizzyDesii]

Yeah

[moneymagnet24]

I wanna hold girls in my arms not baby at age of 23 lol.

[DizzyDesii]

I didn't even realize you were 23 til now

[moneymagnet24]

You're so focused on my hotness & sex appeal that you forgot to notice ny age...

My favourite dizzy ❤️

[moneymagnet24]

Update 🤣🤣

[elaphe]

I don't have a wife. Otherwise, I would be ready.

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[Jon08]

I love to travel and spoil myself. I don't want a child to get in my way of living life my way.

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[Jamie05rhs]

Why ruin a good thing? Kids just complicate relationships and make life more stressful.

[IloveWinters]

Want to have more sex before things start getting serious😂😂

[DizzyDesii]

Kids ain't gone stop me from poppin off

[IloveWinters]

Well kids do suck lot of energy, and the couple later has very less energy to enjoy sex

[DizzyDesii]

I've dealt with worse. It ain't gone stop me

[IloveWinters]

Worse like?

[DizzyDesii]

I just am not afraid of kids. I’ve been involuntarily assisting at preschools since i was like 5. Im just used to kids and want some

[IloveWinters]

Super coool, any reasons why u want kids?

[DizzyDesii]

I simply just always wanted to be a mother. I feel we were placed on this earth to live love laugh learn and reproduce and i want to fulfill that journey

[IloveWinters]

I agree, it's beautiful to see a generation having similar genetics...

[ab2shifty]

Feel like I’m not ready

Plus everyday me and my homies hang out, so 🤣

[DizzyDesii]

Hang out doin what

[ab2shifty]

Mostly just messing around, sometimes getting into trouble 🤣

[Nice222]

I really don’t have an opinion on this. My wife and I tried for kids but it never happened.

[DizzyDesii]

Im sorry it didn't happen

[Nice222]

Yeah we went through several doctors and many treatments but it never worked but we are still together and working through life together so it’s all good.

[DizzyDesii]

Adoption? Surrogacy?

[SunnyRS]

Well, I don't think I will be a good father so, I prefer not having kids.