What are your reasons for not wanting a kid YET?

[DizzyDesii]

I’ve heard some pretty reasonable things like wanting to be financially stable but this one dude just told me “I don’t want kids until I get to go to Disney. I can’t be pushing a stroller my first time trying to get on the teacup ride.” 💀 I’m sorry but i cringed so hard lmao. ain't no kid stopping me from going to a theme park 😆 But i personally feel Disney is for the kids anyways. I might’ve understood if he named something with adult thrill rides like Six Flags or Universal 😂 #FeelFreeToList

Updates

2 mo

I’m sorry if I sound repetitive with the “I hear you. I see. Sounds good. I understand. Makes sense.” Lol i really don’t know how to respond to these. I just wanted to know everyones reasons and now I know so thanks 😂🤷‍♀️

[DJB72]

Ok, I don't usually go through answers before I respond, but I did today.

I was a first time dad at 46. We'd had medical problems so we waited until we were financially stable, healthy and "ready"...

Just like the younger responders here have said...

My son was born in August 2018.

In February 2019 I injured my foot and a doctor in England screwed up. The minor abrasion became an ulcer that got infected. That needed surgery to clean out because after consultation with the pathologist the surgeon prescribed oral treatment instead of the IV treatment required.

By January 2020 it hadn't healed up so we came back to South Africa for treatment. The infection had now progressed into the bone from the soft tissue.

My first admission was cut short because of Covid. My second, in April was for the amputation of a toe in an effort to save the rest of the foot.

My third was to have a short course of antibiotics via IV.

Then that hospital had to close off because of Covid.

The fourth was in June 2020 for a six week course of IV treatment - that the original pathologist in England had said was needed.

Three weeks in I contracted Covid. I spent July, August and September in a coma in ICU, suffered cardiac and respiratory arrest and total renal failure. I was given four hours of CPR to resuscitate me and against the odds survived. Even more against the odds, my kidneys have recovered 40% function - something my renal specialist has told me repeatedly just doesn't happen. He also says I'm the healthiest dead man he's ever seen.

Two weeks after I came out of the coma my right leg below the knee had to be amputated under local anaesthetic and sedation because a general anaesthetic would have been fatal.

I spent another 3 months in rehab learning to walk with a prosthetic leg and control a wheelchair.

I lost my health, savings, financial security in one blow

But I've got my son.

I'll never play soccer with him once he's over about 8 because I can't run.

If you're young and with the person you want to spend your life with, don't wait until you're too old.

Life hits hard. Learn to hit harder.

[DizzyDesii]

I definitely wasn't waiting. Just hasn't happened. Your story is sad but inspiring

[DJB72]

My story isn't finished yet my friend 😊

I'm unstoppable

[Purpleronnie]

I never wanted children , it ended some relationships , I’m sure it was also the cause of others not getting started and I understand and accept that. I honestly don’t know why I didn’t want children , it’s perhaps a combination of reasons. When I think about those reasons , maybe I’m selfish , maybe I think I don’t want that responsibility, maybe I just don’t want more people to be dependent upon me. It’s been commented to me that I’d make a great dad when I’m around kids but I can truly say that the thought brings me no joy whatsoever.

[4ngelic]

- i'm too young (turned 23 not too long ago)

- i'm single rn, and i'll only have kids once i'm married with someone (which would need me to date someone seriously for like at least 4 years before getting married)

- since i've been barely studying or doing shit for the last couple years and just very recently got serious about it, it's going to be a while until i start the true working phase of my life. and to have a baby i need to be at my big girl job and it needs to be stable, and pay me enough to have at least a middle class income on my own

-i'm still too immature to take care of a baby

- a lot of the stuff i like i can't do with a baby, or if i did people would call me an irresponsible mom. like i dont how that would look if i'm always hiring babysitters to go out with friends

- also i never think about kids. like to me that's not for people in my age range to worry about anyways so it's not really in my mind. like if you dont think about it, your less likely to want it soon

- i have this vision (i dont know if it's totally true or not) that having kids for women is for at very least the first years like the death of your social life, excitement in life, education/work, a lot of your hobbies, and that your life is just boring aside from your kids, and litterally all you do ever is take care of your kids. and that it's often not that fun particularely for babies, like you can't sleep well, you always need to clean stuff up, you get pee on you, etc and your relationship can take a dive, so it's scary and off putting (though i do plan on having kids one day though)

[Sirenboobzilla]

Ok, the Disney bit was funny lol.

I don't want kids, although I'll gladly welcome a child in to this world, if it ever happens, with nothing but pure joy and love. However...

I personally feel that I don't need to have children to live a fulfilling life. I like to travel and do new things. It's selfish on my end, sure, but I don't want to be hindered by a child. Not to mention all the worries that come with it.

I was initially waiting until I was done with school, which I am, and a while in to my career. So, who knows. Maybe with some of the extra free time I have it'll happen.

[DizzyDesii]

Good points. I do feel empty without motherhood so im hoping for it. Travel and stuff is just a temporary fix for me

[Xia1994]

Personally, I only want kids with the right kind of man for me. I love kids I think they're amazing and anyone who has them and loves and cares for them well is very lucky and so is their child!.

[DizzyDesii]

Aww yea

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I would sooner stab myself through my uterus than bear a child. Pregnancy horrifies me, and while adopting or fostering is an option it’s likely one I’ll avoid as I know myself well enough to know that who I am now prioritizes myself above all else. I wouldn’t have the drive to find the energy to take care of a child long-term and would end up being fairly neglectful.

[mandyfire98]

I personally believe your child comes first always. You need to give 100 percent of yourself to properly raise a child. Honestly, I don't have 100 percent to dedicate to a child right now. I'm still trying to live my life and enjoy things and go places and spend time with my partners. I don't have anymore attention to give to a child currently. It all goes to someone else already.

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[ShadezMcgee]

The big ones for me involve finances, housing market and inflation, then the fact of raising it. I don't like the fact that my kid will be raised by others a lot during their life a. d being exposed to shit I may not want them to be exposed to because of how impressionable kids are.

[DizzyDesii]

I know you can't keep em cooped up forever but there's always home school

[ShadezMcgee]

Right, and the only one who I would trust to teach them would be my dad since he does have a teaching degree. He would be old as shit when it was all said and done

[IslaTheWitch]

not good enough personal situation
not good enough financial situation
health problems
mental problems
simply not wanting kids now
fear related to the pregnancy and child birth
fear for the health of the kid and mother
not being ready to be 24/7 for someone else for next X long years
wanting career, house, travel the world, whatever before having kids
and many many others...

[Simslover92]

To be financially more stable and to be in the same place. We're currently long distance so having a kid is out of the question right now but I'm hoping both things become less of an issue soon if I come into a good bit of money.

[DizzyDesii]

Hope you get your money and dint switch up. I hoped my dude got his money and he did but then he switched up and found a new excuse

[Simslover92]

Thanks and I definitely won't. And sorry he switched up on you.

[Jessica405]

Several reasons.

First, very poor eysight now

Second, I am a career girl, at least until my vision failed

Third, I do not want to give birth to someone who has to face death later in life.

[DizzyDesii]

Like nearly blind? Otherwise lots of people with poor eyesight have kids and it doesn't always pass down. And as for the third, we all unfortunately have to die someday

[Jessica405]

If the second and third eye ops work as well as the first, I will go back to work. As for the third reason, I agree, we all have to go. But I still don't want to force someone to have to face that.

[DizzyDesii]

Giving life is a beautiful thing. Its not like you're the one taking it away from them

[Jessica405]

It is just my thoughts. As far as I am concerned, my main reasons have never changed. I spent 7 years and huge student loans to get a good career. I will not give that up easily. I love my work.

[MrQun]

I don't want kids, period. I have medical issues and any offspring of mine would inherit some of my problems. And I would not want any child of mine to got through one tenth of the crap that I've been through.

Besides I'm not a fan of children anyway..

[Anonymous]

Honestly I do not ever want children. I've never liked being around children and frankly I don't see why it seems expected to have them.

To my mind having kids puts your life on hold. I would like the complete freedom to do the things I want to do in life. Also well there are ways to many people as it is. There is to much than comes with having kids. And well I don't see having kids as necessary.

And well the world is just getting to be harder and harder to understand and navigate. I wouldn't want to have a child when I struggle enough as it is.

I think this kinda sums up as best as I can word on this one.

[RHK36]

I don't except the older I get the less I want them because I'll feel too old. I've been wanting kids since I took care of my nephew and niece when they were little. I also don't want to have kids with just anyone because that is irresponsible and selfish in my opinion. So I just wait until the right one comes along or I get too old waiting. I'll be content with either option.

[DizzyDesii]

Would you consider adoption

[RHK36]

With the right person, yes.

[Anonymous]

My wealth isn’t that great and haven’t met a man I like enough yet.
Also the world is a tough place. The thought of my child possibly going through some terrible things like cancer, suicidal thoughts, bullying, ending up deformed or an amptee in some kind of crash or cause they contracted an illness scares me.

I know two people who lost their child to suicide. It would upset me so bad if that happened to me.

[Opinion Owner]

My uncle died from cancer at age 35.
I have a cousin that was born partially deaf but they only realized it at the age of 2 when he wasn’t talking.
The manager I work with in a restaurant she is a very nice woman I heard her say once her daughter died from suicide about 20 years ago. It made me feel so sad hearing that. My mothers current partner who I am not biologically related to sister also committed suicide.
It must feel really tough losing a close one to suicide. Nobody happy intentionally kills themself. Only unhappy people commit suicide. The world can be a cruel place and life can be hard.

[DizzyDesii]

Im really sorry to hear this

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks. I never lost a person friend or family member I knew really well to suicide but I know other people who have. I never met my mothers partners sister who commit suicide my mother just told me about it that her boyfriend sister committed suicide. I never met the daughter of the manager I work with at the restaurant as well but she is a very nice woman and hearing that her daughter committed suicide made me feels sad. The thought your child was so unhappy and hated their life must be terrible.

My uncle died before I was born at the age of 35 due to cancer. I never knew him either but his death obviously effected my father badly.
I know my cousin who is partially deaf well. He was picked on at school for being deaf and obviously grew not liking the fact he is deaf. His deafness is not genetic though. The doctors just told him it’s likely the mother just contracted some kind of illness when she was pregnant. Now He has two children that are not deaf.
I have also seen many things on the news in my life about people I have never met before being stabbed, robbed and beaten sometimes by complete strangers and sometimes by people they knew well.

I do not have children but the thought things like this may happen to my child scare me.

[TallAnon]

Finances make sense to me, I'm currently looking for a new job, so let's give it a few weeks before we lose the condom, lol; Besides that, the woman I'm with; If I don't see a future with her.. I'm not planning to get my kids taken away from me and having to pay her for the next 20 years.

[DizzyDesii]

That makes a lot of sense

[Sameone]

1- i didn't find the right women

2- my age i still young

3- i don't have time because i work between 20h to 45h a week

4- financial aim not ready. Because i want to give him everything i didn't get
I don't have stable salary

5- i don't want to stay in Portugal
i still study to be engineering flight on A380. ( I want to work and life in UAE)

6- again i didn't find the right women

[whereismyjohnny]

That's hilarious. 😂 My reasons are:

• I'm still too young to have a baby.
• Not having enough finances to raise a child.
• I'm focused on chasing that master's degree and goals.

[DizzyDesii]

Reasons that make sense lol

[RoseySarah]

Not ready in a lot of ways like not child proof or puppy proof

[DizzyDesii]

Haha thats your biggest worry

[RoseySarah]

More emotional and realistic reasons also my sister has to have one first!

[alice55]

Don't want to be fat, I already struggle with losing weigh cause I stay motivated for 2 days every 2 weeks so if I were to get pregnant I would just gain 10 kg in more.

[DizzyDesii]

Get a surrogate

[alice55]

Forbbiden in France and the thoughts make me uncomfortable, I would be ways too jealous. Like if I'm married and I'm getting a surrogate my husband would show attention to her and that would make me jealous and feel like the others woman.

[DizzyDesii]

Ahhhh i see

[Dinklex3]

I don’t even have my own life together yet, I can’t care for kids.

I don’t want to experience pregnancy and I don’t want to give birth.

I lowkey don’t even LIKE kids 😅 & I have nieces and nephews that I need to spoil.

[Joshydavid25]

Aw naw, what kinda man wants that bad to go to Disneyland or World? 😂😂..

But, I definitely want kids one day, I just need a more stable financial situation, and... A beautiful wife..

[DizzyDesii]

Exactly disney?

[Joshydavid25]

SMH.. Lmao.. My boy needs to get a grip..

[Steelcore5280]

I don't think I have all my ducks lined in a row quite yet and marriage needs to come first before kids. I will not contribute to the culture of single parent homes we have in the USA.

[DizzyDesii]

Did you change your pic or an i confusing you with someone else

[RavVid]

I have to echo that merely changing USA to Australia. It is highly unrealistic to think a marriage will be enduring.

[Steelcore5280]

@DizzyDesii I might have changed my profile photo, I dunno.

[laly520]

I want a kid just waiting to get married this year

[DizzyDesii]

Congrats :)