I didn’t understand just how gut wrenching it is to lose a friend (death) until it happened the first time. I understood the obvious part of ‘yeah, I’ll grieve and I’ll miss them’, but I heavily underestimated how long it takes to move past that grief, and how often I would seek out anything that reminds me of that friend, just to feel some comfort.
What’s something that you thought that you understood before experiencing it, but then after experiencing it, you realised you never truly had any idea what it was like?
What’s something that you didn’t truly understand, until you experienced it?
Marriage; it’s a LOT more than dating or boyfriend/girlfriend. Particularly riding out the highs & lows. It is both one of the hardest and most satisfying parts of life.
Committing to a career.
Parenting. It is so all-consuming and yet so rewarding. I am not aware of a more complex form of love as there is when you love and sacrifice for a child.
Finances and planning accordingly.
How EASY it was and yet also so HARD to attain so many of my goals in life. I know that’s a paradox but what I mean is it was easy to get the things I really wanted when I was simply willing to put in the hard work. There were no life-hacks, shortcuts, or insider secrets. It was just a matter of getting after it and prioritizing decisions and goals accordingly.
Death, on two levels. Both losing people I loved and cared for AND being present and witnessing the speed and finality with which death strikes. Being up-close and personal to death WILL a change you. This leads to the last thing…
PTSD & and the associated stress and anxiety. You think you can understand it but until you realize you’re in a fight and losing (and then take the steps to address it) do you realize how powerful it all is.
Parenting. I had taken care of several pets and thought that parenting a child would be similar. I learned early on that a child is totally different. You give up your life for your children. That's not a bad thing... very rewarding to raise a child... but it isn't easy.
Maybe that's why they say hard things make you more appreciative, and are more important.
I have four dogs. I’ve had dogs all my life and I love them more than most of my extended family. Having said that when I hear people call them fur-babies or refer to themselves as dog/cat parents, it’s nauseating. It’s not even close to the same experience.
I always thought that if I were to lose a baby (so up to 1 year old) to illness then I'd prefer if it happened as early as possible because it'd hurt less and it wouldn't make much of a difference to them. Since becoming a mother to a healthy baby girl, I'm thankful for every day I get to have with her. Even if she was sickly and I knew she was going to die young, I'd still want to stretch it out as much as possible... when talking to my friend, she doesn't get it at all. And we used to have the same opinion before I had my baby, she's still childless.
Also, before I became a mother I saw an abortion as something that I could do in some circumstances (though not something to ever take lightly)... since being pregnant I'm more against it. I think I'd risk my own life to continue with a pregnancy and deliver a baby if he or she was healthy enough to survive. Before becoming a mother, this seemed completely out of the question.
Death of a loved one. You can understand the pain as an outsider looking in but you will never understand the depth until you experience it. I was there when my grandfather died and just witnessing him leaving and then all my aunts and uncles grieving has no words appropriate to explain it and the sadness it still brings over a decade later
Pregnancy, childbirth and parenting. Even though I had light physical effects compared to others, had no complications after c-section and my siblings, my mother-in-law and of course my husband were actively supporting me and giving me time for myself, my studies and my work, it was a very difficult path psychologically and physically, it really changed my perception of world and other people and made me see my parents and people in different light too.
Childbiand & parenting. It's not like the movies and those fucking hospitals don't give you an owners manual!! Whaddya mean I have to "fake it til I make it?"
