If a person has no long term friendships, does that mean they aren't a good person?

Question

ProbablyClueless · Accepted Answer

No, not necessarily, but you should ALWAYS have the possibility in your mind. The reality is that people have the reputations and relationships they have for a reason.

They might have just been surrounded by assholes, or they recently underwent a huge period of personal growth that caused them to end their old friendships.

It can be tricky when you are developing as a person to avoid going back to old friendships. You get lonely and you haven't found your new tribe yet. Going back to the old one can hinder your growth.

Or... maybe they're a genuinely bad person and no one wants to be around them.

It's the same deal when your gut instinct is giving you weird vibes about someone. The problem might be them, but it could also be within you. You don't want to automatically assume that your gut is correct. That person is highlighting some feeling for you. Don't always listen to your gut instinct, but never ignore it.

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

Well here's my case. Tell me if I'm not a good person. My father was career Air Force. I moved around every 6 mo to 3 years growing up. I attended 6 different schools in different countries grades K-12.

I went to an all male military college. Upon graduation we all blew to the 4 winds. Most of us went into the military. For me it was the Army. I did a 15 year career there. I continued moving around at random intervals as the job demanded. Everyone in that environment did.

When I left the Army at age 36, I entered Fortune 100 corporate America and had to reinvent myself. 6 corporate moves. I finally ended up in private equity in Manhattan.

My ex wife and kids used to make fun of me because I had no friends, no roots. I had my job. And I had the three of them. That was the cost of taking care of everyone but myself.

I'm a lot more selfish now. I've seen the worst humanity has to offer.

lee_asksnanswersqs · Accepted Answer

It really depends, but I would say no. Making friends is a huge hit or miss and from personal experience a lot of people slide in and out of your life and only make an appearance when they want something from you. I have a couple of long term friendships but I wouldn't consider it common to have a huge amount of long term friendships either. Friendships are to be worked on, just like any other type of relationship, they need time and effort put in to maintaining them. A lot of other factors can affect this but if your friendship is that strong, you will somehow manage to keep pulling back together when torn. You will find people that stick by you and there's no set time for that. Keep being yourself and they'll gravitate towards you.

Ferngully2000 · Accepted Answer

It doesn’t mean you’re not a good person, but it might mean you don’t prioritise friendships in the same way that others do. Maybe your partner, children or work come first or maybe you find it difficult to make solid friendships.

A lot of my ‘real friends’ are actually people from school, where you are forced together and bond through time together.

I find the people I’ve met later in life are not as invested in the long term (not always but some) but also friendships take work, effort, like any relationship, they also take the ability to be open, let your guard down, trustworthy and be reliable, it’s give and take, so it has to work on both sides.

Anonymous · Answer

No. For me I don’t have friends. Just co-workers. I believe I’m a good person. Have been married for 15 years, currently working in medical going on my 10th year. As an individual, a loner if you want to call it that. I’m confident in myself that I don’t need the approval of others, or admiration of others to be secure in who I am as a man. It means I’m resilient. I’ve been through a lot. It’s something I embrace. It’s made me more self aware of myself as a man to be resilient on my own knowing it’s just me. It’s built my confidence, because I know whatever comes my way I have to take on by myself. In solitude it’s allowed me to look at myself more, to realize where I need to change for the better. It may have been uncomfortable at times but it’s allowed me to grow the only time it may not be a good thing in my opinion is if he doesn’t have hobbies. I have a lot of hobbies.

Anonymous · Answer

Life takes you away from friends. That's just reality. You make new friends. Then life takes you away from those. Because you're always moving forward (hopefully), odds are no one will be on the exact same path as you. So you're lucky if you ever keep a handful of friends throughout life.

Now could this mean you're an a**hole and no one wants to know you for very long? Yes it's possible. But I wouldn't just assume that. Because ass I said. Losing friends and moving forward in life is just life's natural progression. Just concern yourself with being a worthwhile person. And don't worry about the people who come and go in your life.

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

No. It does not at all what that means. This question is upsetting to read. You can find yourself with no long term friendships for so many reasons. Not being a good person is not usually the reason. Nobody would think that.

You can be a good person and have no long-term friendships. Many great people don't have long term friendships. It's not usually a reflection of your character.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

The best people tend to have little to no friends.

Artists
Scientists
Inventors
Composers
Writers

Its very lonely at the top.
Even others like us are often too busy with our craft and too isolated in our homes to find eachother.

I'd do anything to know which doors to knock on...

Staximus · Answer

Not necessarily, it could mean they are crazy or don't know how to pick good people to associate with. Some people pick shitty friends just like some people pick shitty romantic partners. Those patterns develop from childhood, depending on your parents behaviors

CB-Raido-Time · Answer

I have nearly zero friends. Oh I know people and they know me though I rarely ever talk to any of them even family members are distant and seldom seen and rarely heard from especially since they seem to not care about others such as the children in Gaza. So let that answer the question.

kitkatto · Answer

I don’t have friends. I had friends from middle school and high school but we don’t really hang out or even talk anymore. I do feel lonely sometimes but I guess I was too busy surviving and ended up closing myself off from everyone

DishLady · Answer

Friend dynamics tend to change a little as we age so I don't know that there is one cut and dry answer, burned person has no friends more than a few weeks/months old then its topically a red flag.

wynning · Answer

I wouldn't say that because they might have better reasons but if they are a shit person, you'd probably get to know it before you have anything long term with them.

serious · Answer

No, it does not mean that. It can also mean they have strict standards, they are very strict and intolerant to many things so that makes it extremely tough for people to be in their life.

glennos89 · Answer

Most likely. Long term friendships will only last because its a genuine friendship. But also long-term relationships can change because of different interests overtime

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, not always. Some people move on, friendships come and go. It is all a part of life.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

No, it means that nobody wants to risk being their friend and finding out what a great friend they'd be.

Emmytexrex · Answer

They should really check what is wrong with them cause I don't really know what to say they might have social anxiety and traumatic past while growing up

Jay-_- · Answer

I have long term friendships but we are distant now because we are on different paths. So long story short I don't claim anyone as a friend at the moment. But yea, I'm a terrible person... Lol

jahaims · Answer

That or they are stupid, annoying, or some other bad traits. Doesn't always mean bad. Hell they could have been abused as a kid and then find it easier to be alone.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Possibly, depending on their social personality. Some people just aren’t social, doesn’t make them a bad person.

MrChinaski · Answer

Ummm... no it doesn't, but it is a small red flag

Gayuglycowardv3 · Answer

It means nobody respects them to be associated with them. Im gay ugly cowardly and have no hobbies but getting drunk high playing xbox or watching porn

DrPepper12 · Answer

No. There's 4 quarters people & 100 pennies people.

Professor-college · Answer

In most cases it just means that this person doesn't want anyone at the moment

nerdemoji9 · Answer

no, because i move around a lot and i've never had the chance to make close friends

WhitneySnow · Answer

No. Maybe they’re just shy.

NicholasRedone · Answer

Yes 🏆 👀 Yes

Anonymous · Answer

No. What tetarded concept.

PrettyCrumblBb · Answer

They could be shy

Credentialmayhem · Answer

They could have social anxiety

Pterodon · Answer

No just loners

ABC1x1x · Answer

I'd bet on it.

If a person has no long term friendships, does that mean they aren't a good person?

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