Do single fathers get as much scared, as single mothers when raising a baby alone?

Question

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

I remember a rather infamous reddit story. A 20-something guy got his 20-something friend with benefits pregnant. She was staunchly against having children and was fully planning to abort it until he begged her not to because he always wanted to be a dad. So, they came to an agreement: she would carry the baby to term but the MINUTE it was born, she would have nothing to do with it. She would sign away any and all legal rights to the child and legally give full custody and care to him. He agreed, and that’s exactly what happened. The child was carried to term, she gave it to the dad and left the hospital to go home and recover while he began his new life of parenthood. It only took maybe a few days before he heavily regretted his decision because he was exhausted, terrified, and constantly giving his needs a backseat to the infant that was now in his care and he asked reddit if he could legally force the child’s mother into some kind of child support in the form of child care, not necessarily a financial support. The story went viral for the incredibly comedic irony, but I think it illustrates well that single fathers struggle as much as single mothers with similar fears and stress.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

From the single dads I know, their moms are very active in the co-parenting even if the ex wife/girlfriend/gal pal isn’t in the picture. This is bc the single dads I tend to chat with are widows and they end up having questions that a mom easily knows how to solve.

One fellow was ready to tear out his hair one afternoon over a toddler issue that the moms and grannies on the block all knew to solve. The single dad also tends to cave a little more easily to his kid’s requests, whereas the moms know to call a kid on their bs…. Dads don’t want the deal with the pushback, esp with their precious little baby girls. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Then we my friend who kept canceling dates bc he’d be horrified by the tween-ish babysitters who were being sent over as reliable, referred childcare. A few of us finally just volunteered to watch the kid (since they’re a nice family and the guy really SHOULD get out and date). He’s just started dating about a month ago. Smh.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

I did... Yeah that fear that the thing would die and I'd get blamed for it was there. I don't know if that fear is any different for a woman doing it. I had two kids, one just born and a 6 year old, and Mom was taken out of the equation. I had a lot of bullshit running over my head that most men never dealt with at all. I mean it's one thing to not fuck up at work or not beat that one guy up after work, but it's another to try and raise two fucking kids that have minds of their own. I think the fear is there still despite the fact that I was a man, if not greater because I didn't get the woman-pass for mistakes and I don't exactly want the Woman-of-the-year rewards either.

Nope... Now I'm just old and nobody gives a shit. In fact I just get shit for not doing a career. Remember, no woman-pass. I'm praying that I'll catch cancer or something and just be done with this life. Everything is basically worth nothing and when you gave everything... well you got nothing and that's your reward.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Day 1 you think of every under the sun

Day 2 you tell your not scared
Something
Is wrong

Day 3 you have look at every thing you can think of
And tell your self you dont have time or the energy
To doubt yourself

Baby's have 5 different crys
Learn them fast take it on baby's feel your energy so make it beautiful happy and calm and before you know it. They are 18 moving out has a job making 80 thousand dollars a year and going up the ladder

You dont have time to be scared because you now are teaching then to become 10 better than you and that's with everything

FirePhoenixZ · Answer

Fear doesn’t wear a gender.

Any parent raising a child alone carries a weight that love alone must lift.

It’s not about being a father or a mother, it’s about being human enough to stay, protect, and nurture even when it’s terrifying.

Courage, in the end, isn’t the absence of fear, it’s choosing love despite it.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Pretty sure they do

Parenthood requires constant involvement

Being a single parent means doing that AND working full time unless you’re rich or still supported by family

But doing it solo is an absolute daunting task

ProbablyClueless · Answer

If behavior is any indication, I would say that single fathers are MORE scared of the idea. I've personally known far more women who actively and intentionally pursue single parenthood than men.

Single mothers have far more social support systems, as well.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Maybe, but they also get far more praise because it is generally assumed that they are widowed or the mother was found unfit by a court. Women generally do not get that benefit and in fact it is usually assumed that she let some random hit it raw.

BadApple69 · Answer

Don’t know. Didn’t raise a baby along. Ex-wife left me with 3 children 16,12, and 7. It was hard but I was never scared. I raised very good kids and they helped out a lot.

Nikki1989 · Answer

The sheer, overwhelming responsibility of raising a human being alone is a universal stressor. It can affect anyone.

HollyK21 · Answer

Parenthood in general can be scary for anyone regardless of gender.

DavyJ · Answer

I would argue that ALL new parents, irrespective of being single parents or otherwise are scared shitless at parenting for (definitely) the first time.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course especially depending on the gender of the child

Do single fathers get as much scared, as single mothers when raising a baby alone?

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