Why are women so apprehensive?

[beastman88]

always seems like I have to make a move. there's a girl at work who always talks to me and such, I've always talked to her. I've asked her out to go bowling just as friends to do something or anything and she said she's too busy, yadda yadda, but yet it seems like she waiting for me to ask her out again as I don't feel like I should have to I've already made my contribution to try at least be friends. as well, 2 other girls at work I've tried being nice to, saying hi trying to make small talk but its no use, they give me the cold shoulder for whatever reason. won't even bother to say hi unless I say it first. the one girl is in a relationship I think but does that mean you shouldn't try to make other guy friends just because you're in a relationship? all iam trying to do is get into a friends stage but I don't know, seems like people just don't want to make new friends at least where I live. its hard to differentiate shyness from just being cold type person. iam just frustrated Because being myself deosnt seem to work when making new friends and its shattering my confidence

Updates

+1 y

its aggravating and shaking my confidence. its like iam just the garbage man and there's no use in talking to me, iam not worth talking to because iam lower class and I clean and take garbage out for a living. those 2 girls work at a daycare and I take out their garbage even though I don't have to but I do.

[louiseee]

Well.. in my past experience I have had a lot of men think that I liked them as something more than a friend simply because I am a friendly person. I smile at every one and am nice to everyone and that makes some guys think I am flirting or something and then I'm the jerk in the end because they thought that smiling and interacting in a normal way was flirting just cause I'm a girl. And not a single girl.

Bowling/movies/ANYTHING has to be with a group if it's gonna be JUST FRIENDS. After a few group outtings as just friends she will be more likely to believe that maybe you don't have other motives. But, it seems like you want to date her. If you want a relationship beyond friendship she can probably tell that you are wanting something that she is not wanting.

As a woman in a relationship I can tell you it is hard to have male friends because they always end up crossing that line. Even my boyfriends friend's have said some uncomfortable things to me. All males cross it, it's inevitable. Or they get mad cause even though I have no intention of ever dating them, they think they are the "back up" guy for if I break up with my boyfriend.. which isn't ever going to happen. So after having a lot of guys try to cross that line she may just be cautious like I am.

And I can promise you that it isn't because of your job. I don't think there are that many people out there that are going to not be friends with some one because of their job.. unless they are doing something illegal or stripping for a living. I wouldn't be friends with people like that..

[beastman88]

i have a lot of one on one time with my friends, not very often I do group things as I don't have that many friends to begin with, which is why I want to make more friends.im not mr popular, just wanting to make more friends really, you make it seem like women and men can't be just friends

[louiseee]

They can just be friends. But it's honestly rare when neither of them wonder what it would be like to sleep with the other. You should watch "You got Mail." it has some good points.

[beastman88]

you mean sexual tension? probably always be that factor as long people don't act on it and realize what could happen. iam happy just trying to make new friends. people need friends, couples need time away from each other or time together with family friends to prevent boredom in the relationship, I think.

[louiseee]

Maybe they think your offputting?

[beastman88]

quite possibly, could be lots of reasons why. iam who iam I can't change that. I can't help if people have preconceived notions and judgements about me, before getting to know me. overall id say iam a really good friend. when I try to be friends with somebody and they don't accept me or I don't get that feeling they want to be my friend I just stop trying, and come off as cold

[hannywithamanny]

About the first girl, you asking her bowling just the 2 of you is not " just as friends" in her mind and ultimately it's not in your mind either. Eventually you want something to come out of it. If you guys talk a lot there is a chance that she likes you but make sure there are other signs like eye-contact, flirting, smiling between you. She will give you little signs if she is interested. So maybe you asked her out once and she said she was busy maybe she was just busy. It doesn't hurt to try again. In most girls minds it is the guys job to make the moves and do the work it's just the way it is. If you work with maybe this next time ask her to go to lunch with you say it's better than going alone. Start with little things and grow attraction. Sometimes full blown dates to bowling with a guy you barely know can be nerveracking for a girl. Just in general also be confident in yourself. If those girls don't say hi say what's up ( name) and move on with your day. If they don't have manners they aren't worth your time and that's the attitude you should have all at the same time remaining well-manner of course.

[beastman88]

i know the 1st girl likes me, she gives this really intense look, and her body language is clear. I was kind of short with her the other day and I think she took it the wrong way, we didn't talk at all yesterday. but she is busy. I've invited her to bowling not just me, but with friends of mine as well so not just us, she said she hated bowling

[beastman88]

on top of being busy. not really much to do in my town besides that. I asked if she liked movies and she said ya but I didn't ask her to go to ne, even though it seemed she mightve said yes. kinda waiting for her to say if she wanted to go with me

[hannywithamanny]

It kinda just seems like you aren't being clear of what you want. If you know she likes you then don't be afraid. Movies in my opinion is not a good date unless you are already into the relationship. The first thing that comes into my mind when a guy says lets go to the movies is .. " great we are going to be awkwardly sitting next to him while not talking and him trying to hold my hand. It's just not the best thing. But don't say do you like the movies.Be straight up

[hannywithamanny]

I want to hang out with you would you wanna watch a movie with me tonight ? ill buy the popcorn:) lol

[beastman88]

again there's not much to do really, that isn't completely personal but I just wanna be friends before anything else happens, besides iam not even looking for a girlfriend, just friends. I like o get to know people first before I consider relationships, iam not going to dive into relationships like I've done in the past. have had horrible consequences doing that