Why won't my guy friend hug me anymore?

[Slavanna]

For starters, I'm an extremely physical person and even when talking to people I've met minutes ago it feel the need to occasionally tap them on the arm or something like that (hell, I even give my teachers a hug every once in awhile). This one friend of mine knows it. He used to hug me sometimes on his own accord, and generally was okay with me hugging him by surprise (he even patted my forearms when I threw my arms around him from behind a couple times). Now it's different, I can't even pat him on the shoulder without him getting all tense and defensive. I mean, I would understand it better if he had been like that all along, but it's not like that.

I really need help, because I love talking to him, but I feel uneasy when I know I will invade his little personal bubble just by acting natural.

[inquisitiveemt]

Did he start dating someone or is he already in a relationship? He could be getting flak from her over u being so touchy feely. Or he could've developed feelings for u and is afraid they're not reciprocated, especially since u don't have a problem (by ur own admission) being physical with others, which in turn is causing him a little bit of jealousy. The best way to know what's going on is to just ask him why he tenses up when u are near him.

[Slavanna]

No relationship I know of (it's been awhile since he had a girl for more than three dates). My reasonable side tells me that he doesn't have feelings for me because he said so explicitly, but my gut tells me that he's just being insecure because I'm taller than him and once he gets over it, he'll want me. Geez, he's driving be crazy.

[inquisitiveemt]

Don't nag him, but just, ask y he doesn't like ur hugs or y he's now protective over his personal space when he wasn't b4.

[Slavanna]

He says he doesn't know what my problem is and that he hasn't changed one bit, which is a blatant lie.

[inquisitiveemt]

Typical male flipping shit around. If he doesn't mean much then I'd stop talking to him

[LittleSally]

My guess is he started dating someone.
OR maybe his friends suggested to him that you might like him (just judging from your behavior), and he feels awkward to hug you now?
I don't know what it is, but these are some of the things that could be.

[BryanM]

He might have had an experience that makes him uncomfortable with being touched.
He might be upset by something you may have done or said, even unintentionally.
He might like you and be embarrassed/shy about touching you.
He might have had certain thoughts about you and feels he could have an embarrassing reaction.

It is difficult to know!

[Slavanna]

I doubt that he likes me in "that" way, I'm actually really into him and suggested a date, but he said he only saw me as a friend. And I don't think that was the cause either, because that had been happening for two months before my asking him.

[BryanM]

Maybe he's worried about giving you the wrong impression?

[Slavanna]

Maybe. I don't wanna lose him as a friend and I would give the world to give up on him as a crush, but I swear, the man is the master of mixed messages.

[BryanM]

If you give it some time, the feelings will probably fade.

Try to move on and look for someone else. I know it;s easier said than done, but it will certainly help your friendship.

Just try and respect it if he doesn't want to be quite so physical any more, it might not be a personal or conscious issue.

[Slavanna]

I've given it almost two years now, and well... as odd as it sounds, I genuinely don't find any other guy attractive. I tried flirting and it kinda worked, but I never ended up contacting any of those guys I was chatting up.

[BryanM]

Maybe you just need to initiate that next step with someone then, it could really help a lot! keep on flirting!

[Slavanna]

It's not that easy though, you could say I'm pretty picky... And I never start chatting with a guy just basing on his looks. I'm totally indifferent to that, what gets me to talk to a guy is either a token of something I like that he carries or a scrap of conversation I overhear.

[BryanM]

Honestly, it sounds like time is all you need on that front, to find someone worth pursuing!

[Slavanna]

From what I hear I shouldn't even be pursuing at all and I hate that so much. With this guy friend, every time he compliments me it's like an achievement to me, something I can be proud of. When it's a guy who tries to woo me, I feel trapped. My friends say that one of the reasons I don't have a boyfriend - supposedly I'm too "aggressive". The other reason appears to be that I seem "shy" (I don't think I'm shy, I'm just a bit absent minded sometimes, is all).

[BryanM]

You just need someone you can feel comfortable with, and perhaps you haven't found them yet. Perhaps you don't want to be wooed, perhaps you want to do the wooing!

[Slavanna]

I'd like to do that, honestly. But for the past two years he's been the only guy I wanted to woo. I'm just a person who needs to experience everything strongly. I'd take espresso over latte and vodka over beer any day, when I feel like running I just abandon whatever I'm doing and go out and run until my lungs are sore. I need the same thing to happen in love and it's been happening with him for months now. I just can't let it go.

[BryanM]

It will happen.

[jesseray]

He may be a genuinely affectionate guy but noticed that you hugging him all the time could be giving others the impression that he is already taken or that he is a player, which could ruin his chances of getting dates. Sometimes, the most affectionate thing for a woman to do for a man is to be less affectionate to him (and explaining why).

[takana]

Everyone is different. I'm like you I'm a hugger but since I'm a guy I never initiate because girls might think I'm a perv, but since I'm so tall girls like to hug me lol.

[rickytheguy]

He could be a "nice guy"

girlsaskguys.com/no-topic/q972893-what-your-idea-about-nice-guys

urbandictionary.com/define.php? term=nice+guy