What are your views on fat people? Fat women, specifically?

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm fat, as in very obese. Most people don't think I weigh as much as I do, but I wouldn't lie about it so you can trust me lol I'm 5'3/5'4 and 230 lbs.

So two things happened recently that spark my curiosity about the attitudes toward fat women on gag. My friend (who is also fat lol) showed me this forum and they were bashing fat women specifically. I thought it was pretty interesting. I already know society judges women more when it comes to looks, so I shouldn't be surprised. However, I was still kind of like "but you're fat too?" at this guy who admitted to being fat but continued bashing fat women with everyone else. The gist of it was this - fat men are "disgusting" as well but they usually have redeeming qualities in personality that fat women don't often have, like intelligence, they're funny, nice to be around, and they aren't as insecure and miserable about their weight. I already have my opinions about this but I'm curious to see what you guys have to say about that here. Be honest, do you agree or disagree with this?

And then my mom just called concerned after she saw some special on TV about how society is cruel to fat women and she kept asking me if people were mean to me, blah blah. She's just concerned and I guess doesn't want me to be treated poorly. Plus, this is a perfect way for her to transition into " and here's why you should lose weight" rans lol

What are your views on fat people? Do you see them as anyone else? Do you find them especially disgusting or inspiring some other negative emotion within yourself? DO you see a difference between fat women and fat men? Be honest.

Updates

+1 y

wtf is "rans"...ignore that typo. :)

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

My best friend is over weight and she gets more d*** then I do lol :P

It's really about the fat person's perspective honestly - if you walk around life letting people's criticisms and teasing bring you down, life is going to suck. My friend knows she's heftier but she still dresses well for her body, is an absolute sweet heart, and a lot of people lover her for that.

Women can have personality too you know - as in, fat women can be funny, intelligent, and definitely nice to be around. Not just fat men. But personality is dependent on the person. Not all fat men are a pleasure, and not all fat women are lardy bubble heads.

When I see a bigger person, I think one of two things; they are either insecure and miserable, or a little insecure but accepting of what they are. I often end up with the insecure but accepting bigger folk, who are actively trying to lose weight, but not exactly upset at their size. Being thicker as a black woman doesn't seem to be nearly as bad as being thick as a white woman. You actually get teased being too skinny as a black woman lol :P ( story of my life lol) so I haven't seen much of this fat people hostility first hand.

Often just on television when they always show the fat person stuffing their faces and being represented as sloppy and gross - undesirable.

They don't inspire any type of emotion, except she needs to get over herself as some bigger girls get over confident with this " fat and fabulous" idea. I don't care what size you are, arrogance isn't attractive on anyone.

Outside of that, people are people. Just be healthy is all I"m saying - not everyone can be a size 0 ( who would want to be anyway?) but if you know you can take care of your body and prevent diseases by loosing weight, why wouldn't you?

[Anonymous]

I’ll speak from first hand experience of this. I’ve been chubby-fat (but not obese) my entire life, and despite everything I’ve done to change it, my weight hasn’t changed, so I just try to live as healthy as I can. About 5-6 years ago, I was bullied so badly I stopped wanting to go to school, I faked headaches and chills and stomach aches, all so I could get away from my tormentors. And they did torment me, because I was fat. Every single day in PE, they would tell me that I was so pretty and that I should date the main tormentor, but than when I tried to ignore them, they would laugh at me. This happened everyday for almost an entire school year, without me telling anyone, until finally the main guy came up to me in the cafeteria and I told him that if he’s ever came near me again, if he ever talked to me again, I would knock his teeth out. From that moment on, I picked up my self esteem, and never let anyone treat me like that again. I kind of went off on a tangent here, but I didn’t mention the real kicker of the whole story, that main boy that picked on me everyday... he was chubbier than me. I was 11 years old, and even from that age, people were already assuming things about me that had no truth in them. So, to answer your question about whether there is a difference in how fat men and fat women are treated, there is a huge difference, and it starts effecting at an incredibly young and impressionable age.

[Anonymous]

My opinion: they aren't fully responsible for their size because of their addiction to food (I'm a chubby bunny, but I don't look fat or anything) and how difficult it makes it to lose weight if you're not structured and supervised food wise. Also it's hard to get true motivations. I've tried countless times to diet, countless. Some times, I tried classical weight loss methods. Didn't work shit. didn't feel motivated or anything. I tried pro ana stuff that gave me the most success and made me feel so good and have plenty of motivation. If you have a little dent in that motivation, what makes you eat that much does it. I don't find eating normal motivating, it's ana or nada.
This something a lot of people don't understand, if you've been eating shit for years esp for comfort food, it's a lot harder unless you find some system that's more addictive and pleasurable than the former.
I do generally feel sorry for them (depending on the size, the fatter the more pity) since they are not treated well, so it makes it harder for them to hang around in public esp in places with fit/thin peeps, like the gym (people do make fun of them. Seen one or two fat peeps at my gym, they were made to feel unwelcome by some people). I probs will asume they are depressed and more likely to be suicidal and have self defeating tendencies (that's probs a big factor in lack of motivation).

[Jackofblades96]

So much pain... its just so fucking needless

[Paul09]

What I think, is your body is a temple and you treat it like one. My life style evolves around staying healthy, and always moving. I always try to put need over want. Like he'll yeah I at times love to dive into junk food, but then later feel like shit that I did. So my view on fat people is that I believe you don't care enough about yourself, that eating and being lazy is your prioritity. Not all fat people, but most. I see good people behind fat people, but bad habits take over them. And a lot of the times you see it in their kids or pets. Why do they have to suffer the same faith? So many times I can't ivite my bigger friends to do certain activities and it's a downer. Wish they could enjoy it with me. I suffer from social anxiety at times, but everyday I try my best to control it , over it controlling me. So in a way I can see once you are deep in to something it is hard to rewire your brain. So you have to keep trying over and over till you get it right. Never give up never surrender! Life should be about improving who you are and not the opposite. We ALL have problems, and we all can fix them if we care enough. At one point of my life I was a total bum. I didn't care what I ate, I wasn't active enough. Then a belly started to grow. I joined ice hockey and was freaking out how hard it was to tie my skates. And ever since then I told myself never to be a the bum I was again. So I got back to my active lifestyle. And just the past 4 years I started eating a lot better. And I'm so happy to see all the changes in my body and life. So to me i assume fat people give up on themselves body wise. We should never give up on ourselves.

[ben890]

Hey, you're the exact same size as my girlfriend.

To be honest, I believed some dumb stereotypes about fat people before I met her. I didn't think they were gross or anything, but I did assume things about their health that isn't necessarily true. I'm skinny but my girlfriend is healthier than I am, she takes really good care of herself but doesn't lose weight. I also used to think fat people were inherently insecure, but she proved to me that once you move past all of society's fat-shaming bullsh*t, you get your autonomous confidence back. She loves herself more than any other girl I know, haha.

I do agree that there's a double standard when it comes to fat women vs fat men. Fat men get to be called a "teddy bear" at least, but fat women seem to be viewed in more disgust because they already have really narrow standards of attractiveness to fit into. When/if you get treated like crap because you're fat, that doesn't mean you need to lose weight, it means other people need to grow up and mind their own business.

[Blud007]

I love chubby girls

[147703]

Do you mind if I ask how thing started between you and your girlfriend? Was the fact that she was bigger something you had to "get over" or were you instantly drawn to her and the weight just seemed not important?

[DarkoGajic]

Thing is, girls are often viewed by their looks more than anything else. There is also a mini double standard in fat guys, where if a fat or at least not fit looking guy approaches a girl he is called a fat pig or a teddy bear depending on if he has money or is extremely charming... long story short, in terms who gets it worst it goes ugly fat poor guys, fat girls, normal looking guys, normal looking girls, good looking guys, good looking girls. The hierarchy of easy life right there

[edgey]

No difference between fat men or women, at all. They are just big. Now my feelings toward fat people in general are mixed. I used to be fat. I was a chubby kid, and a chubby teenager, when I got into my teens and the opposite sex started looking more appealing, i started noticing how my weight effected me. Girls would not take me seriously, girlfriends would cheat on me, meanwhile I was a virgin wondering why. I was 5'5, 240lbs. I was a cute guy, but my fat was not, had bigger tits than most of my girlfriend's.. I realized that I had a very small pool to select from, and I wanted to make a change. So I did.

Over the course of 1 summer I dedicated everyday to working out and becoming stronger. In that one summer I lost 60 pounds, and managed to get rid of my man boobs... mostly.. I continued to workout every other day and eat clean, within my first year I had an 8 pack. As I lost all that fat, I gained a new sense of clarity, and learned how to listen to my body.

Now when I see fat people I ask myself, are they working on it, or do they just not care. I don't think society needs to soften the blow for anyone. Had my experiences not been so painful, I might not have put in all that work. I now realize the mindset of someone who works-out often is a proactive - disciplined mindset, you are not waiting for the doctor to tell you to change, you take that responsibility seriously. You understand you have a responsibility to yourself, to not weaken your self-esteem, to not weaken your organs or joints. You also have an obligation to the world and to God to be the best, strongest person you can possibly be. Fat women to me are unattractive not because they are fat, but because they lack those character traits.

[ClayDiamond]

I believe there are some women (VERY FEW) whom are born large like their fathers. I know from personal experience. This however is not a license to walk around with a "forever muffintop". Big people can be in shape too. And it will be obvious to most.
MY problem with truly fat people are the ones who refuse to do the work (get a regular exercise routine) because of their own self-defeatist attitude toward their size. It took years for them to become a fat f*ck. But they don't want to put in the necessary time (years) to erase what they let happen to themselves.
What I don't like about (lazy) fat people is when they hang out with people who are not of the same size, and when they can't do the same things. Or their weight prevents them from keeping up (biking, or climbing stairs) with everyone else.
Why do fat women have skinny friends? You can't shop at the same stores. You can't eat like you normally do when you stop for lunch. Fat girls eat salad like alligators think on chicken nuggets, "I KNOW this isn't all I'm going to eat today." And last but not least, they're always complaining about walking somewhere. Fat people FEAR amusement parks.
And lastly, there is a big difference between fat women and fat men socially. That difference being what was mentioned already, different set of norms are applied to each; but mostly fat men are not as insecure about their weight.

[Masada]

Um, I’ve been chubby my entire life, and despite working out, going on diets that lasted months, and eating healthy, my weight hasn’t changed. I don’t use it as an excuse to not do something, and I happen to love the adventures that my friends and I go on, whether that’s walking all over the city for a day, or spending our time watching a movie and then hanging out outside. Don’t make assumptions based on appearances, because you don’t know anything about their lives.

[WowzersTamar]

Why do fat people have skinny freinds? Because friendship shouldn't depend on your weight? It should depend on common interest and compatibility, not looks? Wtf is wrong with you

[IdontWantToBeMe]

i think 230 sounds big but it's really not, one of my friends is 250 and 5'5" I think and she doesn't look it at all, I think everyone carries their weight differently.

I only notice really fat people, like the ones that can't move because they are so big, I feel sorry for them actually I know it's easy for people who don't have a problem to say why don't you just stop eating but that person could have emotional problems and food is like an addiction to them, so I try not to judge people for that

[eblue92]

I think that there is a stigma against all fat people, regardless of their sex

I'm nearly obese, and as a guy, I still get shunned and treated differently than thinner men.

I feel like one major advantage fat women have over fat men is body positivity. When a plus size woman is on a magazine cover or in a movie, she receives a lot of recognition and applause. I don't think this would be the case for a fat man

Also, plenty of men find fat women attractive, but very few women find fat men attractive

[fascination_streak]

For years, I was tormented for being ugly and fat. Then, I developed an eating disorder, was too skinny and then people thought I had AIDS. I mean where and when do people draw the line with the cruelty?

As a result, I don't pass judge on either gender. I have friends and colleagues who are overweight and I really don't care. I know why some of them are overweight, one is on medication that causes weight gain. He has been on every diet you can imagination. He works out and the weight doesn't come off. Another female just got lazy, diets and then eats badly. These people are well aware of the health risks. They know what they need to do to have a healthier lifestyle. I just don't feel like it's my place to go around and preach to people about his/her appearance. It's an individual responsibility and the person has to live with it, not me. As long as I am respected, then I shall always extend the same gesture.

[Bananaman177]

I think fat people could lose the weight by making minimal adjustments to their lifestyle, and that what they need most is simply the knowledge on how to go about it, and the patience to keep following a program and not just giving up after the first week because they ate five salads, skipped two desserts, and went for two walks and a bike ride, and they didn't lose 100 Lbs. right away.

I think most fat people really just have a problem with instant gratification. They can't sacrifice small, immediate desires to pursue larger, more distant ones.

[Ana_Moonsong]

I think a LOT of people have a problem with instant gratification.

[risted]

I think people are meaner to fat women than men. the fat guys are kinda expected to be the stereotypical funny guy out of the bunch which is a good quality to have in anyone, but it doesn't work that way for women it seems like. I don't look down on fat people but am I attracted to a heavy girl? not really. I've seen a lot with pretty faces but the rest of the body just doesn't do it for me.

i don't think they're slobs or whatever because I don't know their situation. maybe they have a health condition that causes it? usually not, but I don't know that. maybe they're just plain lazy, maybe they just don't know how to fix their eating habits after all these years (it's not an easy thing to do). either way, their choices don't affect my life personally and all I can really do is hope they're healthy enough to have a good life for themselves too.

[lucky24]

i got nothing against fat people so ill be friends with them

but I will never date one because I won't be attracted

secondly id like a girl who goes outside for hiking, jogging or just enjoys being outside for long hours without getting tired too quickly so stamina would be a concern

lastly I wouldn't date one cause I don't want to see someone I care about in a hospital cause her obesity is causing health problems

nope I don't see any difference between fat people but it is a double standard guys are allowed to be fat (not sure why) and women are supposed to be anorexic (again not sure why) according to our culture

[EmpressBrittany]

This really sparked my attention... I'm quite unsure how I feel about fat. I don't want to be fat. I have curves and a little extra tummy and thighs. I'm ok with that. But I like to stay in line and not go further with my weight. But on the other hand I adore to spoil things. I over feed my almost 1 year old Goldfish and he's chubby. I cook food specificly for my dog, whom is overweight. I have a boyfriend who I would buy junk food for all the time, but now he's training to serve in the army and I want nothing more then to have him finish that stuff and come back to get chubby. It's not that I want to be smaller then the people around me. It's more like I show my love by indulging people? I don't understand completely, but I guess I like chubby/fat people. Best cuddlers.

[Joshbgosh]

I'll be honest: I usually dislike fat people. I have a lot of fat family members and I find it disgusting. What really annoys me are the constant excuses that I hear "It's the medication I'm taking; it's a glandular problem; it's just genetics", yet I'll see them eat like sh*t and never work out. I would be friends with a fat person, but I would never ever date a fat girl.

Yes, for the most part, fat women are treated worse than fat men. That fat guy bitching about fat women that you were talking about should shut the f*** up, he's no better.

My sister is very fat, it angers me. I try to convince her to work out, but she makes up pathetic excuses.

[Ana_Moonsong]

They inspire an annoyed, irritated emotional response most of the time when I think of them, but this is mainly because of society’s new “body positive” movement, which I think is ridiculous. I think everyone is beautiful in their own ways, and we all have beautiful, unique qualities, but when you cover it up with fat, it clouds your outer beauty and unique shape, and often your personality as well because a lot of fat people are extremely insecure. Being extremely overweight is EXTREMELY unhealthy, unattractive, and just sad honestly.

[Alexeiv]

If you're very obese, such as weighing 230lbs at 5"3, you have a very high risk of dying by age 40.

That is fact. If an individual is fine with that like chain smokers, then I frankly don't care.

But too many people don't realize the hazard they put themselves in.

I am fair in my criticism. I was fat once and I did something about it.

I weighed 225lbs at 6"1 and it was all fat.

I then dropped to 165lbs in 4 months due to rigorous tennis training.

I then began to add muscle and have been between 190 and 200lbs with good build. I enjoy this and keep it up.

[Bricealan]

Being obese, will certainly shorten your life and and will also make the life you will have to more restricted as to what you can do physically. I have many friends, relatives, and co workers that are far too heavy, and my one time manager recently died. When she died she weighed in excess of 400 lbs. People are not to be made fun of or treated in so om unfair way, as I understand the problem and wish I could help then.

At one point in my life (27) my MD. asked me how much I weighed. and I told him 165 lbs, which is too heavy for my height and bone structure. He said not to put on more weight..."If I were you"

I started to lose and exercise, and have stayed that way and am around 140 lbs

I certainly wish I could help you with you weight problem, but can only offer encouragement.

[Ghosty]

Sport means a lot to me, so do looks. So I can't fully understand people who don't do any sport and don't even try to. Therefore I'm not into obese women at all. But I don't bash them.

For me it's basically the same. Guy or girl, I don't care. If I see a fat person, I immediately think about the health risks, think of them as lazy etc. If they do sport however, I respect them more than a fit guy doing it. Because it takes much more. I know some are happy, confident etc, but that's the minority, and all my friends (3 guys 2 girls) who went through an amazing transformation, were SO happy they did it.

[Anonymous]

When I see over weight or obese people I really don't think anything when I see them I see them as any other person. And yes I would have to say when I see a obese women my feeling are different from seeing an obese man. I don't judge them but if I ever come to think about it I think I am more open or less criticizing or women then men, maybe because I am a women. Yes, I do see guys at school who was named like ben890 said teddy bear. Then when they see the women they laugh and joke about them. I think some of the biggest people are the best people.

[Anonymous]

My best friend is obese by the way and I worry to death about her health and the only thing that bothers me is how she complains that she eats healthy and exercises but can't lose weight. She eats terrible, I mean really terrible and does not exercise and that is why it bugs me. If she acknowledged that she has control and just isn't using it then it wouldn't bug me. I would still worry about her health.

I was also hanging out with two fat ladies the other night and they are so much fun, great personalities, great sense of humor, I would hang out with them again any day.

My views on fat guys are quite low for the reason you mentioned, where do these fat guys get off insulting fat women. That alone is why I hold them in such low regard, that alone shows they do NOT have any redeeming qualities. This is just for the fat guys with double standards.

[Anonymous]

Put me in a room with two identical women; one is fat/obese, the other is skinny. They both have the same great personality and look the same other than one is obese, the other is skinny. Want to know which one I would pick? The obese woman. Why? Because - I've always been more attracted to heavier women my entire life, and I think a woman who complains about her weight and how she doesn't want to eat is annoying to me, given she has to enjoy herself while she's like that. In today's world - unfortunately we live in a society where 'different' is the worst crime you can commit. OP: Be confident in yourself, and don't let other people tear you down.

[Shamalien]

Remaining at your current weight is literally self harm. I see some thot below saying that her fat friend gets more d than she does. This is probably true, her friend is a fat slut, and many, many men will fuck a fat slut. Few will date her tho...

It’s the same story with all women who self harm, they are used and treated like shit. How do you expect a man to respect you if you don’t even respect yourself? To everyone enabling you and trapping you in this hell, I don't know what even to say other than you are complicit in this person’s continued suffering.

if you’re #1 priority is not weight loss then you need to get your head on straight, this is no joke, this is your future here. And to all the fuckheads who would dare suppress me giving her the key to unlock the cage YOU encourage her to remain inside, understand that I am the compassionate one here, you are the virtue signalling zombies who could give less of a fuck about this girl.

[Cream]

I have nothing against fat people but when it comes to health I'm just saying you could do better. I just hate when they down themselves one minute and then eat a bucket of kfc the next. I don't find them nasty or icky. I treat them as I would treat everyone else.

Regarding fat men, I find that they have it so much easier. No one really minds them being that way. Fat women don't have it as easy.

[Wulfeard]

For ne when it comes to women... fat, fatter, fattest is the only way to go. I've always found the heavier girls to be easier and more comfortable to be with. I'm not talking about ALL fat girls, just the ones that seem to be comfortable in their own skin. I'm not exactly sure why but maybe it's because they are softer, more sensual, more into oral gratification and less into the things that drive women to be crazy or unhappy with themselves. Plus visually I find many fat girls very alluring and some are just flat out stunning. They way they move, walk, jiggle, laugh, etc is very sexy and don't even get me started on how they bulge in all the right places. I know fat women don't always get a fair shake in society but many of us guys absolutely love them and are not ashamed to admit it.