Is it creepy to message girls online?

[Only-1]

I made this a mytake because I've got a lot to say.

Also I didn't get to finish my debate with @dangerDoge .

First of all let's talk real life first.

In real life you do realize a lot of people cheat right? The boyfriend stuff is irrelevant. People cheat all the time. Maybe from my perspective I just don't care if a girl has a boyfriend or not. If she's that loyal to him she'll deny me. Still you never know until you ask. She may be about to break up with the guy for all we know. Again this isn't specifically talking about the girl in question this is just in general real life.

Now let's talk online. Who the hell cares about an online relationship? Okay sure I'm not a monogamous type of person, but if I were I wouldn't care if my girlfriend was talking to a bunch of online dudes she's never met. So long she ain't sending nudes or planning to meet them. Again this is with the assertion that I'd care. Since I don't from my perspective the online stuff shouldn't be taken that seriously.

The dude just reposted what she had already posted. This is the internet.

If you post a pic then the internet has it. You have given that pic to the internet. If you don't want people to see what you look like or steal your pics then don't post them. Don't take them. That's not dude's fault that's HER fault. Saying someone is hot or attractive... I guess I can't speak for others, but me personally I think it's flattering. I like it when people say I'm hot or attractive even if I'm not attracted to them. If you think it's creepy okay, but most girls that I've told that are hot or attractive either ignored me or said thank you. I never seen one get disgusted by me saying that. Never. Ever. I'd say 95 % of the time they were flattered.

Also, not everyone who says someone is hot is a creep. Again when I think creep I think of someone hiding under the bed or trying to get in my window. That's a creep. Someone just saying "Hey you're very pretty :)" in a private message to me isn't creepy at all. I'm not the dating type (again), but if I was that wouldn't bother me. I wouldn't be like "Oh I should go find this guy and whoop his ass because he said my girl is pretty."

LOL what? People on here need to lighten up. Get out your little shells. Out your little boxes. Maybe go get laid or something. Y'all clearly don't get hit on at all. In real life when girls would show intrest in me I didn't say they were a creep. Some girls I've never met have said I'm hot or cute or w/e and I didn't feel creeped out about it at all. I felt good. Even if she wasn't that attractive.

It's not to say there aren't creepy guys and girls out there. Trust me I know. I've gotten creepy messages from girls before, but it was far from "Hey you're hot." It was really weird stuff. Guys sending girls random dick pics? Okay yeah that's weird and stupid, but just saying hey you're hot? No. Not creepy to me.

---

Picture this:

When you walk down the street and you see a attractive person in your mind do you say "Wow their hot"? Well do you really think that person doesn't know you think they are hot? I pick up on it when girls think I'm hot. Again some even literally say it. How is that creepy?

I mean that's saying attraction is creepy. We shouldn't be sexually attracted to anyone until we know them.

What fucking sense does that make? I'm done.

[dangerDoge]

Thanks for the mention. It would be disappointing if I didn't throw a rebuttal on this, so here I go. (this is going to be long but I tried writing a Tl;Dr; at the end of each point for a little more clarity)

1.) I would first like to address the cheating paragraph. From what I've gathered, you basically stated that it is ok to chat as flirtatiously as you want with someone with a boyfriend-- they'll reject you if they are happy with their relationship. I disagree with your approach on the situation. Just because they may or may not accept you does not make it right to flirt. You shouldn't tempt someone in a relationship. They could be at a rocky time and about to break up, but they also could be trying to work through it. Trying to put a nail in the coffin and encouraging them to cheat is like drinking alcohol around a recovering alcoholic and asking him a bunch of times "Do you want some?" Sure, if he is strong enough, he'll turn it down, but that doesn't make it right to tempt him in the first place. All it takes is cheating one time and the person's life will be hurt substantially-- whether it's their reputation, their guilt, or their the anger caused by their boyfriend. And cheating can be as simple as flirting with someone on the internet. I wouldn't be happy with my girlfriend doing it, and I'm sure many others wouldn't either (heck, I can find old GAG questions pertaining to this if you want me to).

1.) Tl;Dr; Even if a relationship is failing, we shouldn't poor salt on the wound and encourage/tempt one another. The reasons you give are not justified.

2.) "If you post a pic then the internet has it. You have given that pic to the internet." Actually, in the specific question you are referencing, someone found that pic off the girl's private facebook (somehow, who knows how), post it as a question, and the guy took the pic from the question and post it as a new question. However, for the sake of this argument, I'll say that the girl posted the picture of herself in the original question willingly and the guy just took it from that.
Yes, when you post a pic on the internet, you should be aware it has the potential to break out and become popular. And it especially sucks when the picture taken of you was posted online without permission and became popular (like the AlexFromTarget trend awhile back). But that doesn’t mean you have to be happy with your photo being spread around the internet. It doesn’t mean you need to accept it either.

[dangerDoge]

As for the statement “Saying someone is hot or attractive…. I think it’s flattering.” Yep, it is flattering at first. The statement itself does not merit anger or disgust or what have you. That statement by itself is not creepy. However, internet creeps are not going to start with a dic pic, they’re going to start with a “Hey you’re very pretty :)” and try and work their way up. They are going to start flirting subtly or start chatting with the girl and then they are going to go to the next phase of dic pics or requests or swapping photos etc. Not all of them are creeps, which is why you’ll get a “thank you” if you send someone a compliment. I can almost guarantee though that they are sitting behind their keyboard a bit hesitant, wondering if you are going to go down to path of an internet creep. Being skeptical is a justified response, and often times the guys who find the motivation to send girls a pm saying they are hot want a little more than just a chat. However, should a guy be

[dangerDoge]

mad if someone says their girl is pretty with a smiley emoticon? Probably not. But does that mean the guy should continue saying flirty things to the girl and continue flirting after he made his point? No. That’s when the guy would probably be like irl “Ok buddy, back up. You made your point.”

Tl;Dr; Saying someone is attractive is one thing, continuing to flirt with person is another, especially if they have a boyfriend. It’s not creepy to call someone hot, but it is ok to be skeptical since legit creeps usually start out the same way as anyone else. If they are single and ready to mingle, by all means, flirt away (just don’t be weird when you do it).

3.) Walking down the street is not the same as the internet. People don’t have shells of anonymity on the street. You see and you get a good feel for how people are speaking face to face. On the internet, all you get is a chat box. How you can feel what they are saying from that? They could be smiling and be a really cool fellow

[dangerDoge]

looking for a friend, or they could jacking off at your photo. The internet is a scary place, and I don’t think it is wrong to be at the very least skeptical of people saying you are hot. On the internet, a simple thank you is a nice response, but it should be taken with an eye of skepticism that the man on the other side may not be all he appears.

Tl;Dr; Real life is not the internet. The internet’s layer of anonymity makes skepticism justifiable since we can’t read into a message box.

SO ON THE WHOLE…
—We disagree when it comes to what constitutes cheating or not and what’s ok flirting and what’s not
—We disagree if it is ok to flirt with a person in a relationship
—We agree it is ok to call someone attractive, but we disagree on how skeptical one should be

Yep, I think that’s about it. If you’d like to debate more or need clarification, I’m all ears, or erm uhh “all eyes” I guess. Sorry for making that so friggin long. Hopefully it made a little sense in what I was saying.

[Only-1]

1) We can talk morals until we are blue in the face. The question is will she reject you just because she has a BF? Well you never know until you ask. If it's wrong or not to flirt? Well hell it could be. So could be masturbating or thinking about having sex with a girl you're not married to. See we can talk morality, but that wasn't the point.

2) No the guy actually took the picture from a question in which a girl who's somewhat close to her posted on here. I know because I saw those same pics and I saw some more she posted. I just as easily could have done the same thing. FB is not private. It's still the internet. "Private" or not it's still the internet. Why even have a FB? I don't. Don't post anything on any site be it "private" or not if you don't want the internet to see it. Look at all these celebs that are getting nudes leaked. I bet they thought they were private too. If you want to show people stuff show them in person.

[Only-1]

I never said she should be happy that her pic is stolen. What I am saying is she shouldn't have posted her pics on the internet. Your picture can be stolen too. That's the risk you took when you put it in your profile. People should keep that in mind when they post something online.

Well from my experience I guess you're calling me a creep, because I've done that very thing you just said to girls before and I'm still friends with them. I trust them just like they trust me. I know there's risk behind it too though. So if stuff of mine ever showed up everywhere I would at least partially blame myself for trusting the wrong person. In any case you're not a creep if it's consented. Is the girl a creep if she sends a guy pics of her? I've been given hot pics from girls before I even showed them what I look like before. Even nudes. Are those girls creeps too? Randomly sending a girl a dick pic is weird, but if she is asking for it I'm sorry but I don't see it as weird.

[Only-1]

And how do you know the girl doesn't want more than just a chat? Girls have ask for dick pics of mine without me asking. What if they wanted that the whole time I've been talking to them? I also had to be skeptical myself. However, again to me that's how sexual attraction is. I mean hell when you see a hot girl don't you want to fuck her? Don't you think sexual thoughts? Two people in a committed relationship eventually want more than just talk don't they? Eventually they want sex right?

This guy didn't continually flirt and at first he didn't even know she had a boyfriend. He didn't even know her account. That's why he asked. All he said was that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. That's not creepy to me. Otherwise we are all creeps. You. Me. Girls. Guys. Everybody, because we have all seen girls we thought of as beautiful.

I understand being skeptical at first. That's logical, but saying someone is a creep because they like talking to a girl isn't being a creep.

[Only-1]

I think a lot of GAGers are phobic. Just like they always say about "homophobes" on here or w/e I think many GAGers are phobic and taking the whole creep stuff out of proportion. Sure there are some crazy people on the internet. Sure there are some online stalkers. Sure there are some weirdos. Sure you should be skeptical, but what a lot of y'all are doing is paranoia. I mean some of y'all seem like y'all are a step away from a mental breakdown. The sad part is the same people who are like this are the ones posting pics of themselves on here. If you're that scared then don't advertise yourself on the internet.

[cinderelli]

if he says that you are hot or pretty.. thats fine.. but sending dick pics is not fine at all.. thats not acceptable..

[Only-1]

I agree. I only send them if asked and then I have to trust her.

[cinderelli]

Alright..

[Only-1]

And that's only with girls online. In real life if she wants to see she'll have to see it in-person. No pics.

[cinderelli]

Haha... ok.. that's good..

[Omega_brie]

What about ass pics? :P

[creepycreeper]

Hot guy sends girl dick pics and sexually explicit messages.

"Oh wow he's so cute and funny!"

Ugly guy sends girl message saying hello and complimenting her profile pic by calling her beautiful.

"Omg what a creep!" -blocks-

[neofuture]

The way I see it is flirting online is weak pussy shit, like why would you flirt with a girl you will never meet in your lif, also it's so easy to fucking hide behind a screen and flirt with no picture/ actual approach. Like seriously it's pointless and stupid, that's my opinion

[Only-1]

I understand that. I just don't think it's automatically creepy for the people who do flirt online. I mean it's just as easily to make a big deal out of it and get paranoid. Shouldn't a girl girl get more paranoid if a guy is creeping her out in person as opposed to the internet?

[vickiezalez]

I don't think its weird to say someone's hot. Asking to video chat for personal masturbation and dick pics doesn't give me a high opinion of that person.

[bloodmountain1990]

Messaging someone online itself isn't creepy. It's what's being said that May or may not be creepy.

[bloodmountain1990]

As far as telling someone they're hot, cute, etc it's a major double standard but I usually wait to tell a girl she's pretty, gorgeous until I have a date with them, the mood is right and I get a sign they're interested back. I wouldn't say it's creepy but rather unoriginal and disengeniuous. They probably get it a lot and think if a guy messages only saying it or focusing on it then they figure all he cares about is appearance and probably wants sex only. It's just another way of saying hey what's up, which is very unoriginal, but you're hitting on them.

[bloodmountain1990]

Girls might say hey you're hot, cute, handsome, etc because they have a much easier time getting guys and it lets a guy know she's interested. That being said, it's also a double standard by appearance. If a girl is hot and shows a lot of interest, a guy might think he's in love. If a girl he finds ugly keeps on hitting on him and asking him out then the guy might think she's creepy or a stalker.

[Only-1]

While really? You wait until you're on a date with a girl before telling her she's hot or cute or w/e? Woooow. I think I've told most girls I've been with that they are attractive before hanging out with them. They didn't seem to mind. They would tell me early on that they think I'm cute or sexy or w/e. I really don't go by mood. I just go by instinct. I feel honesty is key. It doesn't matter if she thinks what you said is shitty, because think about it... if you fool her now then eventually the truth will come out and she'll know how you really are. She still won't like it whether you told her up front in the beginning or waited for her to find out. If you get the truth out up front now then if she don't like it you both can quit wasting time and move on. Though you mentioned something that I think is important here. Casual sex vs the full dating thing. I'm not really into the GF/BF stuff so maybe that's why I feel the way I do.

[Only-1]

Honestly I think I have a easier time getting girls than plenty of girls do at getting guys. I'm a quiet person. I'm not that social. So usually the girl is the one trying to get me and not me trying to get her. I just don't like that stereotype and so many people believe it. It's not always true. Not with me it isn't. I let girls come to me. Not the other way around. Your last statement is very true but for both genders. A girl may see a hot guy hitting on her and she might be alright with what he says. Meanwhile a ugly guy could hit on her and say the same exact thing and she think he's a creep. And vice versa with guys too. Sucks.

[bloodmountain1990]

Gotcha, that makes all the difference then and sometimes it can be hard to tell if a girl wants a relationship or just a hookup which is I play it by ear, but that being said there have been girls I held hands with or kissed and they thought i got too physical as if I sexually harassed them and then there's been girls who wanted to fuck on the first date but didn't make it blatantly obvious and then quit talking to me because I didn't pick up on the non obvious cues and so they just went for the next guy willing. It can be tough at times.

[bloodmountain1990]

Regarding the 2nd part, i can get women when initiate contact first via online but usually in person, I get women when they go up to me first. It's not that I'm afraid or shy, but it's a mix of not knowing what to say to a random girl and some women do get creeped out period by random guys approaching them, regardless of what they say.

Regarding the 2nd part even if girls do find you attractive, they won't stay because of it. If a girl thinks you're moving too fast, overly interested/more interested then it's a turnoff because they know you're not going anywhere, too available, dependent, which is stupid but that's how some of them think.

[Only-1]

Yeah I don't like the games stuff. I don't think anyone should have to try to figure out other people's minds. Regardless of gender. We can't read minds. We just can't. Yeah I usually don't go up to random girls and yeah maybe it's a mix of what you said.

I disagree with the last part. What if you are dependent and she doesn't like it? Good she'll find out early and you both can move on instead of playing freaking games with each other trying to hide stuff. Though being how I am I'm not really dependent on any girl. I don't know. I guess I just don't think about trying to be less interested or more interested or w/e. I am what I am. If I like her I tell her. If I want to hang out with her more I tell her. If she doesn't like it then she can't take me as I am and I don't like that. I don't want a girl who isn't okay with me being myself. Forget her. There are literally millions of other women out there.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yeah I think lack of communication and mind games is a big thing that's ruining dating right now. If were direct, were considered coming on too strong.

[DaddyRollingStone]

Im pretty sure talking to women you dont know is considered sexual harrasment now

[Applefan1]

Hahahaha I love this!

[9mfeo]

You must be a mgtow.

[Only-1]

That defines me perfectly lol

[9mfeo]

It shows. It's not a flattering term. Cheers.

[Only-1]

I know and don't care. Okay bye.