HELP! All my boyfriend and I do is lay around and love each other?!?

[Anonymous]

We are very much in love but we never do anything! When he comes to visit me at college every week either we hang out with his friends or my friends and get drunk, go to a concert followed by laying in bed and making out until the wee hours of the morning. OR. We do none of the former; only the latter. But with sex now. YEAH. IT'S NEW. So. Is that normal? Are we going to eventually get sick of each other if we're not really DOING ANYTHING but lying around staring at our beautiful selves?! Shouldn't we be GOING OUT and DOING THINGS and creating "memories." Do you know what I mean? When it all comes down to it. After weeks of this relationship, do you believe there is a sudden STOPPING POINT when one of us STOPS AND REFLECTS on our relationship and goes, "Wow. We don't do sh*t. I need OUT." What do you think? Because I do love him and I just want what's best for our relationship. Could all this nothingness, that is sooo much fun by the way, actually HARM our relationship more than HELP? Please, give me any opinion. All answers help. Thanks in advance by the way! :)

[anonymous523]

GET OUT AND DO THINGS!

Your question really caught my eye because it's one that I too found myself asking just a few weeks ago. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for about 11 months now--we started dating last May near the end of the semester (we're both seniors in college now). Because we live about 30min from each other, we were able to hangout a lot during the summer. For the first couple months things were great. We were always finding new stuff to do--whether it be going to the beach, taking a hike, or going to a drive-in movie. Doing things together is what fostered our relationship...helped us get to know each other...and helped build such a close bond between the two of us. When we would do things we would be talking to each other...learning everything there was to know. However, over time, especially as it got colder and colder out...I found us doing less and less. Our typical fridays and weekends would include us watching maybe a movie or two...sometimes going out to a bar...and making out/fooling around. More and more the verbal communication became less, and the physical aspect of our relationship began to take over. Even though I loved her...in a sense I felt this disconnect...that something was lacking. (I'm not saying it's wrong to be physical...but it can definitely cloud ones judgment and emotions...just make sure your actually in love...and not in lust you know?...does that make sense?) Anyway, so the physical part of our relationship was really becoming...well, basically...ALL of our relationship. We weren't creating new memories, and we weren't really connecting with each other like we had been in the past. We actually ended up taking a break for two weeks, just trying to analyze what we each needed to work on. Since getting back together we've been going out every week, either with each other or in a group. If it's bad weather outside we mayy watch a movie, but we try to avoid the bed lol...or, at least limit its use ;)

get out and do things together...because if fooling around is all you guys do, or the majority of how you spend time together...it WILL harm your relationship...it happened to mine. But it can be easily fixed. Even if there isn't that much to do...just talk to each other. making out is fun...i knowww...but talk...get to know each other...create new memories =]

hope this helps a little...if you wanna ask more questions feel free to ask.

[Asker]

I couldn't ask for a better response! I see you perceive my issue %100. I'm hanging with my boyfriend all weekend. So we're making plans to do activities and it's shaping up to be an amazing weekend. Thanks so much! I'll keep everything you said in mind! :)

[haokidolance]

well bring it up to him that you want to go hang out and something togeather such as an out door activity for fun like acting goofy in a park and some times for a girl to suck up something she don't like but her boyfriend likes can make a big difrance in a relationship and viseversa so like lets say he likes marshall arts then maby join a class togeather are maby gardining is your thing if so ask for his creative help in judgment on what you want to plant and wear and what and if he enjoys it then get into it moor ofen are find something that he really loves doing liker lest say playing games then find a game that he's playing that is mutyplayer that you simie enjoy watching him play and pick it up and play with him theys typs of thengs build bods and make good strong healthy relation ships and don't forget if an argument acurs don't push on with it compromise to end the argument and if you wer realy at foult say your sorry and youl find that things will go perfict all this is true take it frome me I've ben dateing my girl for 5 years now and we are still gooing as strong as we wer when I first asked her out well actualy its better now so hope this helps

[QueenJane]

You're in a rut. They're easy to fall into. We all tend to fall in and out of them...out of them provided we climb up and out!

Do something. It doesn't necessarily have to be together you know. \let things flow naturally. If you try to force "doing stuff" it won't make you feel any different. Because I think that perhaps both of you need a little independance injection. Be without each other one day in the week and do something super exciting, cool, fun but by yourself or with other people.

It will make you more interested in each other and more importantly more interesting yourselves. If you work too hard at having fun and trying to GO OUT and DO THINGS. By all means make the effort, but don't forget that you are your own person and if you're happy and fulfilled doing things by yourself, or with people outside your relationship, just lying around will seem totally different as well.

I hope this helps. Be creative.

[Girl-in-love]

What do you two both like to do. Or maybe go see a mvie you both want to see. Or if there's an amusmebt park nea by go there and have some fun! Or go see a concert together! But just because you don't do anything except physical stuff it doesn't mean he will get bored or you will get bored.

[kristin16]

Yeah girl go out with him go out to eat or when yall just laying down chillin alone turn em on kiss him all over his neck and lips lick his neck uhhhm tell him you don't just want to do the same thing all the time tell em you want to make some memories girl don't be afraid to!

[Reeses-pieces777]

why not just go out on a date? tell him 'hey I think we should go out on at least one nice date together'. That should help if you at least bring up the topic so he's aware he's got to take you out like a real boyfriend does.

[little_me]

ughh, I know exactly what you mean. Some people answered a question I have that's freakishly similar, they suggested just talking to him, find something he wants to do, and then make him promise to do it with you... and follow through on it. I have yet to try it but I think I will... and I'll tell you if it's any good. and please, if you find anything that works, drop me a line too, k? :)

[laurapaige]

suggest going out :] my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and I recently just broke up because we were so bored of each other. you need to find a balance, obviously you guys have great physical chemistry now its just time to go out and create the memories, and with summer coming up it should be easier.

good luck!

[nate18]

so go do something, get out more, go to a bar without your friends. go for a bikeride, go to a concert, go bowling.do something but do it just with the two of you

[Blackkid]

Why don't you just suggest an outing if you're this paranoid about it? :|

[Anonymous]

You are absolutely right to feel that way, life is short and meant to be filled with variety.

[ttpp1]

i have the exact same thing... :/

[Anonymous]

he's using u