I broke up with my boyfriend over his bad temper, Why hasn't he called?

[BlondenItalian65]

Other than a bad temper when he gets mad, my boyfriend and I had a passionate and loving relationship. he has never hit me, and I don't believe he ever would. The bad temper is not just with me, but just when he gets angry period. it's like he gets himself all worked up intentionally. I had had enough so I had decided to move (we lived with his brother and his wife). When it came down to getting some of my stuff he threw a fit and threw all my clothes outside, etc. Of course he was sorry the next day when I came to get the remaining items, and said the whole I love you ...I'm sorry. He did say it was best if I left soon as it all felt so awkward and he didn't want me to see him cry and he also felt like he wanted to ask me to stay (which he knew I wouldn't). I did leave and haven't heard from him since...except a short email saying he was going to CHANGE and a few pleasantries to my sister and nephew, finishing with BON VOYAGE my dear friend. I feel hurt he hasn't made an attempt to contact me, whether he thinks I would be receptive to it or not. I know he has a lot of pride, but also a very sensitive one as well. It is killing me to think he doesn't miss me and realize he lost a good woman etc...I know he was going out a lot at first, I believe as an attempt to get his mind off the break up, but mentioned to a mutual friend whom I no longer talk to, that it was a waste of time and money. Any insight as to what might be going through a man's mind in a time like this. It has been about 10 days.

[Anonymous]

Look, his bad temper aside, why do you think he should make a contact if it's you who dumped him? I'm currently in his situation, my boyfriend dumped me (over my bad temper episode also, but it's not my point), it was such a sudden break up, and I'm so hurt and wondering if he misses me at all. He dumped me, so if he wants to talk he should initiate a contact imho. Although it's a slightly different situation then yours: since he disappeared he called once and said his disappearance had nothing to do with that stupid thing I said and that we'd see each other tomorrow... He lied, he never called after that..
Btw, I also wonder why you say "he hasn't made an attempt to contact me", but mention an email he sent to you? Email is a contact attempt too. If you haven't answered it sounds like HE'S waiting now for your to contact him..

[shea75]

You're better off! I dated and had a child with a man who acted this way. It only grew worse through the years and did end up becoming physical. Be proud of yourself that you left when you did. A bad temper is never good, and he should definatley seek help in changing. As for him not contacting you... that's for the best. You left, so his pride is defeated. Let it be. Maybe he will learn from this; that he can't treat people with anger and be able to keep them in his life. And, it's not to say he doesn't care for you. I'm sure he did. He may have just realized all the damaged he has caused and know it's best to leave you to your own road for now. So, be strong..move on...and be proud. :)

[BlondenItalian65]

Thanks........it was hard to leave but I did and don't regret it one bit. I gave him 2 chances with the outbursts and after the second decided to leave. The third was while I was leaving. I couldn't imagine living a life time walking on eggshells. I am sorry you had to experience this, and with a child no less. Take care.

[shea75]

You take care of yourself too. Yes it sucked to go through it, but I tell you what...I'm hella stronger now! :) I'm proud of you. Continue on your journey with pride. :)

[behemoth_the_cat]

Looks like your ex-boyfriend has accepted the breakup and moved on... and you should too.

I know this may hurt to realize this, but maybe he was being so agressive and bad-tempered because he wanted to break up but he didn't want to be the one to do it?

And from your side... c'mon, he acted like a total jerk! He threw your stuff out and he has an awful temper! Just because he hasn't hit you yet, doesn't mean it won't ever happen, that's how generally people with bad tempers progress... do you really want a future and raising kids around an aggressive man? I don't think so.

[BlondenItalian65]

100% true. However, he was like that with everyone, not just me. I saw him punch his own brother square in the face. I knew I was done then, I just had to find a safe way out. I guess I am just surprised he hasn't tried to make contact, just adds insult to injury, but like you said.......move on. Have a great night!

[Anonymous]

it sounds as if he couldn't give a care less- so if he had a bad temper- then you don't want a girl like that, that's putting you and your well being at risk- weather he hit you or not. IF HE SERCRETLY INFERIATED YOU IN THAT CASE- don't defend him just forget him. Genuine guys are rare I can tell you that, but there are plenty to go around, find one- you'll knw if it feel right. k? happy to help, hope I have. and plus I'm aguy teling you this not a girl- so take it from me- it sounds that you could seriously do much better. ;) not many guys confess or say tht, he isn't worth it.

[Biggus_Dickus]

why would he? you broke up, he's moved on, you move on

[BlondenItalian65]

You are right, I did break up as I never knew when his anger might eventually escalate to physical. I guess what I was asking was, how can it be so easy for him when he was the one out of control, thus causing the demise of the relationship?

[Biggus_Dickus]

It isn't easy, but he has to do it. It's easier to get over someone when you have no contact with them.

[BlondenItalian65]

You are right again, ty

[stercor]

He sounds mental.

You can do better.

[BlondenItalian65]

Thanks for your input stercor......the degree of his outbursts would take a diligent and ongoing effort, and I don't think he has enough desire to take on that challenge. Have a great day.